Questionable Lyrics #1: Sweatin' Keith

Yeah, I'm startin' a new thing on this blog.  'Cause I think it'll be fun, and this blog could stand a little freshening up, I think. I'm not gonna explain it; I think you'll catch on as soon as we begin:

So, Monie Love's "Monie In the Middle" is a great, early pop rap record. Lyrically, it's like the female version of Young MC's "Principal's Office," a school-based narrative perfectly suited for mainstream, middle-class kids. Hell, acts like Souljah Boy and Lil Mama are still doing music videos just like it. But the production is incredible, some real hip-hop shit, and the concept is more universally relatable than Young's - the hallmark of a good pop song. Who can't relate to the dilemma of being caught in a romantic... straight line, where someone likes you but you don't like them because you're too busy liking someone else who doesn't like you. It's the story of everybody's life. And who can forget the memorable like where she disses the guy who likes her,

"My name's not Keith, so stop sweatin' me."

For all my millennial readers, Keith Sweat was an R&B superstar in the late 80s.

It's not really clever; it's just catchy. Quick, cute, immediately memorable and just begging to be repeated. Of course, if you were familiar with more hip-hop than the just the crossover stuff MTV carried over to your door, you probably also remember Big Daddy Kane's "Another Victory" from around that same time. Here, he's rhyming on a far more serious topic: racial profiling, before that even became a phrase. The second verse is a quick narrative about being pulled over by a cop because he's driving a nice car: "the first thing they ask me is, 'where'd you steal her?' And then they assume that I'm a drug dealer." With completely justified righteous indignation he says to the nation's police:

"My name ain't Keith, so could you please stop sweatin' me?"

This blew my mind as a kid. It's one thing to be able to point to two generic love songs that both have the line, "baby, I love you." But this decidedly cheesy pun on Keith Sweat's name was a unique and distinctive line. Well, distinctive... but not unique, because it was in two different songs by two different rappers. I mean, you hear rappers talking about biters all the time, but I didn't really expect two major label artists to be throwing the same punchlines on their internationally distributed releases.

Well, "Monie In the Middle" the single, and the Down To Earth album it was featured on, both dropped in 1990. And Big Daddy Kane released "Another Victory" on his 1989 album, It's a Big Daddy Thing. So Kane came first. And again in 1990, Scrap Lover recycled a variation of the line on BDK's third album, Taste of Chocolate, saying:

"Save the sweat for Keith and the beef for Charlie."

This was on the 1990 posse cut, "Down the Line," which also featured Scoob Lover, Mister Cee (on the mic!), Ant Live and Little Daddy Shane. It's not quite the same pun, but maybe having his dancer call that reference back was Kane's way of reclaiming the line from Monie. It was his first, and he was taking it back. I guess Monie's just a big ol' biter, huh? It seems pretty cut and dry... except for one thing. The following line appears in another song:

"Not rhymin' 'cause you're lettin' me, or that you threaten me... yo I'm not Keith Sweat, boy, stop sweatin' me!"

And that song came out in 1988! It's "We Don't Play" by Dev IV, a highly underrated crew who, despite being on Rap-A-Lot Records, were straight out of Brooklyn. Nice and Hard, their album which features this song, has incredible production and perfect deliveries. Sometimes their subject matter was a little wonky ("School Boy Crush," "Obsession"), but when they were on, they were on fire; and even when they were off, they were displaying talent out the ass. And, um... I guess Kane bit them?

I find that hard to believe, too; but there's no arguing the chronology. And you might say, yeah, but that's just a silly thing everybody was saying on the streets, in the schoolyards... Not a major thing, but something they all probably picked up individually. Well, maybe. I kinda remember that, but I also remember everyone I knew had picked it up from the records (mainly "Monie"), not the other way around.

I don't think there will be any earlier examples to find... Keith Sweat didn't really break until 1987, after all. If there are any more examples of this line floating around hip-hop, please post 'em in the comments. And what is it about this weird, little pop culture pun? Such a silly line, with a quirky appeal. Gucci Mane even brought it back it in 2010 on the song "You Know What It Is," saying:

"Smokin' weed in a leaf; bitches sweat me like I'm Keith."

A man after my own heart.  I always figured, if I were to record a rap song [don't worry, I never will], I'd have to bring that line back; so it's great to see that somebody's done it for me. By the way, I should clarify that Gucci actually has two songs named "You Know What It Is." One features Young Joc and is on his earlier The Movie: Gangsta Grillz mixtape from 2008. But the one with this line features Waka Flocka Flame and is off his subsequent Mr. Zone 6 mixtape. Except for having the same title, the two songs are totally different, with completely different verses, hooks and instrumentals. And only this one explicitly breaks down whether Gucci is in fact R&B legend Keith Sweat, and if he should therefore be sweated as such. So, say what you want about Gucci, but that's one of the realest, most authentic... cases of biting ever.

Queens of Civilization are On the Mic.

Since the very beginning, hip-hop has had its share of strong sisters. From Invincible today to Lady B back in 1979 - hell, we can take it back even before hip-hop was recorded music, with the likes of Sha Rock and the Mercedes Ladies - forward-thinking females MCs have been spitting hard enough that I believe they can take genuine credit for advancing the feminist movement in the global culture. But interestingly, when you say "feminist rap song," the exact same rap will immediately come to everybody's mind. It's not the first, and it's not the most recent, it's just... the one.

"Ladies First" dropped in 1989, and it's as terrific now as it ever was. It made the careers of both its MCs, Queen Latifah and Monie Love. Eleven years later, Latifah even titled her book Ladies First. Latifah showed us a whole other side to her from her previous, clubby dance tracks, proving she could be the lead vocalist on a rap song equal to the genre's all-time greats. And while "Monie In the Middle" is a fun crossover record with a brilliant instrumental, this is easily Monie Love's best performance of her career.

But as much, if not more, credit needs to go to the DJ Mark the 45 King for laying down one his best, all-time instrumentals. In many ways, it's right out of the King's playbook: a funky break with random, dusty horn samples he unearths and brings to the table over and over again, always to the our delight. But here he takes different horn samples, from different records of different styles, and together they form something even stronger than most of his other records. Some are blaring, turning the hook into a rallying cry, and others are funky loops that couch the vocals. All that paired with a live, thumping bassline played by engineer Shane Faber, adds up to one of hip-hop's all-time great instrumentals. And then it's really no surprise to see the great Paul C's name turn up in the credits for this one as well, since he seemed to have a hand in nearly every true classic from this period.

Now, I've heard it said a few times, on the internet, that "Ladies First" was written by Apache. This is usually pointed out by a male making the bigger point that: ha ha, these women needed a man to write their big, feminist anthem. I don't know if that's true or not, but there are writing credits on this 12", which credit several people, not including Apache. Specifically, they credit Latifah, Monie, The 45 King and Shane Faber. So, I would assume Latifah and Monie wrote their own lyrics, and 45 King and Faber are getting credit for the instrumental, and dismiss the Apache thing as internet rumor, except I was able to find something to support it. According to discogs, two pretty random compilation albums* credit Apache as a writer, alongside Latifah, Love and 45 King (but, interestingly, not Shane Faber). Of course even in those cases, Monie and Latifah are still credited as writers, but it does lend some credibility to the notion that he at least had a hand in it.

Still, there's at least one lyrical moment Apache night not have wanted to take credit for even if the ladies were willing to give it to him. That's because this song is one of those rare, infamous examples of misspelling in a rap song, ranking right alongside Warren G's "What's Next," when he famously asked, "what's N-X-E-T?" In this case, Monie Love ends her final verse by saying, "And next up is me, the M-O-N-I-E L-O-V-E; and I'm first 'cause I'm a L-A-D-I-E." I hope nobody reading this actually needs me to point it out, but the singular of "ladies" is in fact "lady."

That embarrassing gaff aside, this is one of hip-hop's purest, most perfect song. I mean, how could anyone ever hope to improve on it? What more could you ask for, a Crazy Extended 45 King Remix? Oh shit. The 12" has a Crazy Extended 45 King Remix on it!

Wisely, this 12" doesn't replace the already ideal 12"... it just adds a few things. Stab scratches, Malcolm X vocal samples, an extended opening (the famous "muuuusic 45 King, muuuuusic Latifah and the King, muuusic from a nation supreme" acapella that King would re-use regularly), all just help make the proceedings even hyper. It's over a minute and a half longer, and while it may seem a bit excessive during the opening - the chorus repeats and the beat rides for almost too long before the MCing kicks in. But you'll be glad for the extra length at the end of the song, when it allows for an extra, all-new verse by Latifah:

"Step out into the night;
Queens of civilization are on the mic.
The scene is ripe; the crowd is hype.
I expel the wack and those who bite.
Why? 'Cause I'm that type.
Swaying with beats 45 King style;
He wants me to sing but I'll swing, so meanwhile,
A footnote for the opposite sex:
Monie ripped the mic; I rock it next.
Flex - you'll never catch me at my worst.
You catch the drift? It's ladies first!"

Latifah's debut album was already a crate staple thanks to songs like this; but the remix makes this an essential 12" as well (plus, picture covers never hurt). And what else is on here? Well, there's the LP and a slightly tightened Radio Version. The Instrumental is on here, and if you care about instrumentals at all, this is definitely one to own. And finally, there's the Queen Latifah - Monie Love Bonus Beat, which has the pair shouting out the top female MCs of the day over the break, with Latifah using her silly French accent from her cameo on De La Soul's record. It's short, and they could've just edited into the ending of the Remix, to make it even more Crazy and Extended. But whatever - this is definitely one of those 12"s you just can't complain about.


*1990's Tanz House 2 on BCM Records from Germany and 2004's All That Urban on Warner Bros from Australia.

Where They Are Now

This Is It, Y'all. Mp3s have been floating around the 'net for a while, but the actual record finally just came out: "Where Are They Now," the remixes. In fact, it's a Japan-only limited edition 12" on Ill Will Records (Nas's sub-label imprint), so snatch it while you can.

So, what's the big deal about a remix 12" of a mediocre (at best) Nas song? After all, Hip-Hop Is Dead is just one more in an increasingly long series of dull and disappointing follow-ups to Illmatic, and "Where Are They Now" was one of the worst songs on there. The beat was dope, but very familiar: James Brown's "Get Up, Get Into It, Get Involved," which has been used in about a bajillion previous hip-hop records, from Kool G Rap's "Poison," to the most similar that I can think of, Professor Griff's "Pawns In the Game" (let's face it: essentially, this is the instrumental to "Pawns In the Game"). It's still damn good, though; and this beat would be fine - one of Nas's best even, though that's saying very little - if it wasn't for the rhymes. Yes, "Where Are They Now" is another one of those boring, lifeless name-dropping songs; where an MC does nothing but list the names of other MCs in the hopes that some of their "street cred" rubs off on them. 2Pac did it, Big Daddy Kane did it, Bahamadia did it, Edan did it; everybody's done it. It's not original, engaging, entertaining or thoughtful; it's just... a list. It's like when hip-hop albums had those boring shout-out tracks at the end, only here they're right smack in the middle and the artists think it makes them cool or something. Who the heck wants a remix of that?

Of course, most of you reading this already know the punch-line... As I say, this has been on the internet for months. But now the actual record has been released. Why is this such a must-have? Because of the line-up!

"Where Are They Now (90's Remix)" features Redhead Kingpin, Rob Base, Spinderella, Father MC, Monie Love, Mike G of the Jungle Brothers, EST of Three Times Dope, Positive K, Krazy from Das EFX, Mr. DoItAll from Lords of the Underground, Chip-Fu from the Fu-Shcnickens and Dres from Blacksheep! Nas doesn't even rap on this; he just "hosts" it, saying a few words between every couple of verses. Instead he's just found all (well, not all... but a lot) of the MCs he name-dropped on the album cut and gave them eight bars each to shine on this new, massive posse cut. The instrumental keeps the James Brown track, but blends in the instrumentals form each MC's greatest hit - sometimes more than one, even - during their verse (most of the time it works really well, though a few times they don't gel together as well as the rest... for example, "Monie In the Middle" mixes in hot, but trying to get "I Got a Man" in there feels a little awkward).

So, you've got the 90's remix, plus the instrumental, then you flip the record over and damn! "Where Are They Now (80's Remix)," which is formatted the same way and features MC Shan, Raheem of the Furious Five, Doctor Ice and Kangol of UTFO, Kool Moe Dee, Sha Rock of US Girls and The Funky Four + One, Tito of the Fearless Four, Grandmaster Caz, LinQue, Dana Dane, Pebblee Poo (remember? She did "Fly Guy," the answer record to the Boogie Boys' "Fly Girl") of the Masterdon Committee and Just-Ice!

Then there's "Where Are They Now (West Coast Remix)," which gives up on the decidedly east-coast sounding James Brown foundation in favor of a more mellow track for the West Coast MCs: Breeze, Kam, King Tee, Candyman, Threat, Ice-T, Sir Mix-A-Lot and the Conscious Daughters. It's a definite head-nodder, but they've also forgone the technique of blending in each MC's previous hit(s) to the instrumental, which is a little disappointing. Guess they got a little lazy by remix #3, but it's still cool; you won't really miss it.

Now, I say how can you not need this record just looking at those line-ups? And most of the MCs come off well, too (even the ones that don't instill much faith based on their past output). Stand outs for me would be: Redhead Kingpin, Shan, Doc Ice, Kool Moe Dee and Breeze; but I'm sure everybody will have their own favorites. I made two previous posts (here and here), naming what I feel are the two essential, full-length albums of 2007 to date. Well, this would be one of the two essential 12" singles of 2007 (the other being Master Ace & Marco Polo's "Nostalgia;" except, lamely, it only features the clean/edited version), definitely a necessity.