So I just received something interesting in the mail. A new LP called Vincent on Horseback by Uncle Mic Nitro, who I first heard on a Whirlwind D album a couple years ago. So it's only natural that it'd come out on B-Line Records, but this particular album is a co-release with the mostly old school label Hip Hop Be Bop, which is intriguing. And according to their press release, Vincent is Nitro's fourth and final album. Not sure what that's about. I guess I'm late to this party, but a grand farewell project does sound extra promising. I mean, just given what I've gathered so far, I wouldn't have expected... nerdcore.
To give you a quick idea, try a few of these lines on for size:
"get the party jumpin' like girls with hop scotch," "my rhymes are big bullies kickin' like the Cobra Kai," "jumpin' in like I'm Jango Fett," "I think you best get to know I kept the flow cold like Eskimos so get to know, bro, who's next to blow," or "venomous, no known antidote, Cobra Kai kickin' all the clowns in the throat." Yeah, overall it's fairly precious (and yes, those Cobra Kai kickin' lines are from two different songs... he has a "wax on, wax off" gag, too). Let's dig into a particularly egregious sample. Now to be fair, before we do, please bear in mind that I've cherry-picked this bit because it stood out to me on the first listen as one of the most annoying moments, not the most typically representative. So okay:
"Stumble drunkard,
Bump a crowd if they have the hunger;
Smuggle drugs in
Just in case they're a bunch of dumb cunts.
No offense,
But if you took it then you're just admittin'
That you're a dumb cunt,
So touché!
Just forget it or you'll regret it,
'Cause trust me, I'll fuckin' shred it.
The mic is Thor's hammer
Bringin' Armageddon on
Any starry-eyed rapper in a pair of jeggin's.
You're less fly than Mr. Popper's fuckin' penguins!
Give me a pencil and my tendons fill with tension,
Like Dr. Jekyll having a water fight with ten gremlins.
I have to mention,
That after I wrote that last line,
I realized technically it should be ten mogwai.
Nerd disclaimer!
Attention to every detail is vital
On every track you listen to by Mic Nitro."
^That is some straight up Cartoon Network rap, although I guess it's more Hot Karl than MC Frontalot. Like, remember Wordburglar would do a song about Transformers or Doctor Who... or a whole album about GI Joe? Here, it's not a concept so much as just scattershot references spread throughout freestyle rhymes. After that quote, Dr. Jekyll is never brought up again; he's not part of a running theme. It's all just punchlines.
Either way though, Vincent is reaching out to a particular demographic I don't seem to relate to. Like, I'm a fan of Gremlins. I'm old enough to have grown up on it; I know perfectly well why a "water fight" would be a particularly volatile reflection of Jekyll's own plight. I even recognized Gizmo's tune when they subtly whistled it behind that mogwai line. On paper, I'm the ideal market for this material. Except I presume the target audience must get some kind of little thrill every time they catch one of these references, whereas to me they're groaners, evidence of too much TV finally rotting someone's brain. I just wanna "nope" right out of that twee Mr. Popper's Penguins stuff.
But hey, a country song isn't a bad country song just because you're not a fan of country music. Having different sensibilities doesn't dictate quality. Rhymes like "every time I write a bar, I smash through your pi-llar like Princess Diana's car" aren't for me, but somebody out there thinks that's a real humdinger.
...Okay, I admit that was sarcastic. But seriously, it's clear that I'm just not picking up whatever Nitro's putting down here. I've been spinning it over and over and I couldn't even figure out what the heck the title "Vincent On Horseback" is supposed to mean.
Plus, now that I'm past grouching over this one (admittedly dominant) aspect that irritates me, I've got to tell you, this album has a lot of strong positives going for it. There are reasons I was able to keep this on rotation all week without going crazy. "Write" has a lush disco instrumental and somebody named Greg Blackman sings his heart out on it. You'd have to be made of stone not to bob along to it. And sure, I have no idea who Blackman is, but there's one guest-spot sure to raise eyebrows: Ced Gee. He appears on a track called "Bod Gets Slapped Up (Krash Slaughta Remix)" (the original version is available on a separate 7") with a verse that hearkens back to his Critical Beatdown days, and the whole track is a fun homage to those classic Ultra records. He's still got it!
And there's plenty more. Specifik provides some hot cuts on the finale of a hyper track called "Zasa," and a producer I'm not familiar with named Ollie Knight provides some fresh, catchy production on tracks like "Where the Monster Is" - an interesting song where Nitro takes on the persona of an expectant mother trapped in an unhealthy relationship - and "Keep Drinking," where he laments his alcoholism. "New Planet Goons" has a funky track and killer cuts by Jabbathakut, while "Hills Are Alive" switches to some more creative "A Day Like Any
Other"-style verbal imagery... though its darker subject matter may be a bit tainted by flippant references to Rambo, Mad Max 3 and Patch Adams. Finally, "Fuck You" turns a fun, classical sample into a combative attitude-driven anthem for anyone better able to sync with Nitro's wavelength. Honestly, the only song I dislike in totality and utterly fail to see the appeal of is "Lemonade," which ironically is the lead single.
And no matter where you fall on the spectrum of nerdcore appreciation, one thing you'll definitely be impressed by is the physical release itself. The vinyl is a shocking neon yellow (neon yellow) in a bright picture/ sticker cover with a stylish inner sleeve. Theoretically, the sound quality of colored vinyl can be a fraction off, but this is a solid slab that sounds clear and robust. And if you're really ready to kick it up a notch, there's a limited edition tin that includes the LP, the "Slapped Up" 7" I mentioned earlier (you can also get it separately), a t-shirt you might recognize, a lyrics sheet, face mask(!), prints, stickers and one random copy includes Nitro's personal belt buckle. Everything about this album feels lush, carefully polished and high budget, in terms of both the production and the presentation. It's obvious this is a passion project that real care was poured into on every level. It kinda makes me feel guilty, like my reaction to his rapping is somehow what made the poor guy retire.
I dug his verse for Whirlwind D... Oh well.
Tuesday, February 23, 2021
Saturday, February 13, 2021
There Might Be a Million Outsidaz
(The Outsidaz are back in the spotlight, I guess, but I'm a little more interested in some of their forgotten history and another member who doesn't get enough notice. Youtube version is here.)
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