Sweet Tee's Bad Girl Posse

The Poizon Posse is a group that was just on the periphery of my radar back in '93. I'm sure I saw ads in The Source and their tape in the stores, but I always just passed over and ignored 'em because they looked corny and irrelevant. But as it turns out, they were actually corny and relevant! The Poizon Posse was an all girl rap group signed to Chemistry/Mercury Records for one album. Not quite so young that I'd call them a kiddie rap act like Kriss Kross or Another Bad Creation, but I guess they're pretty close. Maybe like da Youngstas, but by the time of their third or fourth album when they got taller.

So who cares, right? I didn't. But then I came across this 12" for 75 cents, And I thought for that price, I'll willingly get burned on a wack record just for the learning experience. I mean, hey, it's got a picture cover. I've made worse Hip-Hop buying decisions.

So "This Is It, Y'all" is their one single off of their one album, Stompin'.  And I guess there's no reason in trying to draw out any suspense because it's in the post's title, but it turns out this is actually Sweet Tee's band of proteges. She wrote, she produced, she mixed... I think it's safe to assume she managed them. She's even their stylist. I mean, she officially gets billed that way on the back cover credits, meaning Mercury probably cut her a check for that, too.  So I think Sweet Tee did alright on this project even if it didn't float commercially.

Now, Sweet Tee isn't an actual member of the group. The official line-up is: Ro Ro, Aishah*, Lisa Lisa (obviously not the Cult Jam one) and Keisha. But Tee does rap with them on this introductory track, to bring in her fans to this group. She also featured on another track or two on the full album, and the very first words on the A-side are Sweet Tee saying, "Sweet Tee;" so they're definitely not downplaying it. She's posing with the group on the picture cover. If they'd gone that one extra step and labeled the album: The Poizon Posse featuring Sweet Tee, I'm sure I would've bought it in '93, but there it is. I'm not regretful or anything; I'm not writing this post to tell you it's some kind of slept on masterpiece.

The production is at least nice and hardcore. It doesn't have any stand-out samples (though it's cool when "UFO" fades into it later in the song), so it's no must-have track, but it'll get your head nodding. Where they come up short is lyrically. The point of the song is just to introduce themselves, so there's no real concept for them to follow other than "make sure you get your name in the track as much as possible," which they do. But otherwise they have literally nothing to say, and they don't say anything in a clever or interesting way. Except Aisha's verse is kinda cool; but that comes towards the end - too little, too late.

And they all sound alike. Granted. the Wu-Tang Clan (who pretty much came out the same way in the same year, after all) occasionally took things to cartoonish extremes in establishing their individual personalities. So I'm happy to see other groups dial that down a few (thousand) notches. But these girls take it too far, where they're completely indistinguishable and you can't even tell that they've passed the mic except that they're calling themselves by a different name. Two of them also look a lot like Sweet Tee (and they have the same haircuts!), so I wonder if they're related.

On the other hand, at least none of them say anything stupid or embarrassing (hey, you can't say that for many of today's young rappers) and it's kinda cool to see Sweet Tee make the transition from "Let's Dance" to the early 90's hardcore vibe. Combine that with a decent track and it's a pretty respectable listen if your don't hold your standards too high.

After "This Is It, Y'all" comes "This Is Really It," a 12" exclusive not on the album. It's not really a whole other song with a similar title, but a remix. Lyrically it's all the same, and the instrumental has a lot of the same elements, but it's more broken down, has a funkier bassline and a few extra samples... even some understated live guitar. simply put: it's better, and I really don't understand why they didn't just discard "This Is It, Y'all" and make this the version for the album, video, etc. It's not that different, it's just a cooler, catchier variation of the same song.

Finally you get both instrumentals and the album's title track "Stompin'." That one's got some nice scratching on it, by someone named Boo the Barber (who's apparently still around). But once the distinctive "Misdemeanor" sample kicks in and you realize it's the same beat as The D.O.C.'s "Funky Enough," chopped the exact same way, it just makes you realize you're listening to a drastically inferior "Funky Enough." If you'd never heard "Funky Enough" before hearing this, you'd probably enjoy this more. It's at least highly energetic with near constant cutting behind all the verses, and this time the MCs are saying more than just their names on repeat. One of them tells the story of going to court after beating up another woman in a playground, and one of the others talks about how she owns a laundromat and is also a runner who could have gone to the Olympics, but she chose to "kick phat rhymes on beats" instead. I have to admit, I didn't expect them to suddenly get this interesting so late in the single.

This record is definitely of its time, and I don't necessarily mean that in a good way. But it's got some elements, at least, that work - maybe they're not quite as corny as my first impression. The Posse might've actually been a little stronger if they didn't have a major label behind them. But if you're interested in Hip-Hop history, this is a record you should at least check out once. I wonder what their story is... All I know is that Keisha also appeared on this record (not the infamous posse cut remix, but the regular one).


*And I guess they were well aware that people like me would be making the ABC connection, because when it's time to say her name, the other girls sing it in the background in the key and style of "Iesha."

Revenge Of the Fly Girls

(Youtube version is here.)

Sluts, Muppets and MC Craig G

In 1985, a B-side took off that almost managed to rival "Roxanne, Roxanne" in infamy. The Bad Boys featuring K-Love dropped their second single, "Mission" on Starlite Records. But it was the B-side, "Veronica," with the timeless "Oh, Veronica, Veronica; oh, Veronica girl" hook that everybody spun. Everybody except the radio stations, that is, because the song was filthy:

"She's a lovely lady, and she loves to fuck;
So I said, 'yo, Veronica;' she said, 'what's up?'
Said, 'girl, tell me something, if you're not a slut,
Then what's that thing, sticking up your butt?'"

And that's probably the only reason it didn't totally eclipse the "Roxanne" saga it was no doubt inspired by (it dropped in the middle of the whole "Roxanne wars" saga). Remember, 1985 was well before NWA and The 2 Live Crew*, and just after the controversy with Prince that lead to explicit lyrics warning stickers on albums. This is the original "talking nasty about a girl over a human beatbox" track that really changed the whole direction of hip-hop, from blatant rip-offs, like Just-Ice's "That Girl Is a Slut" to... a whole legacy of dirty raps. The fact that they spit it all over a crazy hip-hop version of Sesame Street's "Mahna Mahna" song just made the whole thing that much more bugged out and attracted more attention. Really, you had to feel sorry for any teenage girl named Veronica back in 1985.

So of course there had to be an answer record.

In 1986, Pop Art Records put out the female spin on the story of Veronica with "Oh! Veronica" by a duo called The Glamour Girls (their first and last record). And they actually got the same guy who produced the original, Tony D (not Tony D from NJ who produced The Poor Righteous Teachers, but the Tony D who Serch dissed on "Gasface"). But I guess they figured, if you're making the opposite of record featuring a group of guys rapping with a female beatbox, you didn't just need female MCs, but a male beatbox. So, even though Tony D regularly worked with K Love on his records, he brought in someone else for this one... he brought in MC Craig G.

Yes, that MC Craig G, the Juice Crew All Star. He's featured on this record, but only as a beatbox. The rapping is left entirely to the girls, who recount their own version of what happened when The Bad Boys met Veronica: "we were chillin' with Veronica, just hangin' out, When we met The Bad Boys - nothin' to brag about." But, interestingly, while they do use the opportunity to take a playful shot at the original "Veronica" rappers, they actually offer the same opinion of the fictitious Veronica that the Bad Boys had: she's just a huge slut. The verse ends, explaining what happened, "they thought they were slick; they all started illin'. Laid Veronica, now they're getting penicillin!"

I mean, usually when you have an answer record to a song like that, the idea is: sure, that's how so and so told you it was, but here's how it really happened! But this is an unusual case we're they're on message - they actually agree with the initial group's assessment. But then they wind up turning an easy excuse to tell "that girl's so slutty" quips into something a little more fun: hiking on the Boys for their inability to handle her:

"Bizzy walked in and he was coppin' a plea.
He said, 'I'm still a virgin; please don't hurt me!'
He went into a panic, and started to cry;
She said, 'it's okay, Bizzy, send in the next guy."

This version forgoes the Muppet music, and replaces it with a fresh whistle (sort of along the lines of the famous Good, Bad and the Ugly whistle) over a big, programmed beat (this was 1986, after all) and a lot of simple but loud scratching. And, no. No human beatboxing.

Craig G isn't on the Radio, Long or Instrumental versions of the song... the ones that most people are probably familiar with and that wind up on all the compilations. They save his contribution for a specific Beat Box mix which eschews the whole instrumental. It's all just Craig's mouth-made beats and Tony's cuts.

So, yeah, like I said, this was the one and only Glamour Girls record. At least together - the girls themselves both went on to other things. One of the MCs, Glamorous, went on to become an official Juice Crew member herself, featuring on the songs "Evolution" and "Juice Crew All Stars." She's still around, too, check out a track she dropped this year. And the other girl? She went on to release a string of hits by the name of none other than Sweet Tee; and more recently came back as Suga on The Show soundtrack. And if I have to tell you what Craig G went on to do, I think you're on the wrong blog. ...That's the (other) great thing about sluts - they wind up giving birth to so many interesting people! ;)


*Actually, technically, the 2 Live Crew was around back then... But it was before they hooked up with Luke & Brother Marquis and became controversial by rapping about sex.