Questionable Lyrics #6: When MCs Talk E.F. Hutton, Do People Listen?

It all started in 1984, when Grandmaster Melle Mel and the Furious Five released "The Truth" on their Sugarhill Records album Work Party.  Before they start rapping, and even before the music kicks in, they declare in unison, "rap is our way of life; that's why we do what we like.  Born to rock the mic like E. F. Hutton, so don't say nothin'.  Just listen!"  It's the type of line to leave younger listeners puzzling, "who the hell is E.F. Hutton?"  But old school heads will remember the reference.

E.F. Hutton was an old stock brokerage firm founded in the early 1900s by the Hutton brothers, Edward and Franklyn.  It became most famous thanks to a series of ubiquitous television commercials in the 70s and 80s that all followed the same basic premise.  Two business people are walking in a crowded - airport, park, elevator, etc - discussing vague business dealings amid the constant murmur of bustling people.  One of them will say, "well, my broker's E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton says..." and everyone around them suddenly falls silent.  Then a narrator comes on and says, "when E.F. Hutton talks, people listen."  The end.  They'd tart setting it in more absurd situations, like swimming pools, garden parties or little children in a classroom, because it had become such a thing in pop culture.  As a kid, everybody in the schoolyard would quote that line, and it mostly just left us wondering "who the hell is E.F. Hutton?"

Well, the 80s also saw E.F. Hutton run an early check kiting scam (something made popular again with the recent "Chase glitch"), a major mafia money laundering scheme, and go broke during the stock market crash, eventually dissolving in the early 90s.  But we just knew the commercials.  Not just in the playground, but in Hip-Hop, where it took off as a major, recurring punchline.  It's not witty; everybody was just basically repeating a popular commercial tagline line in reference to themselves.  It wasn't generally punny or making any kind of statement about crooked financial institutions.  You wouldn't even accuse anyone of biting anyone else, because it was so basic and even kinda dumb, though of course everyone used it their own way.

Let's dive into all the instances!


"When my voice gets cuttin', everybody listens up like I'm E.F. Hutton."

Also in 1984, over on the west coast, the Triple Threat Three had already turned it into a more traditional punchline for their record "Scratch Motion."


"You know what I notice all of a sudden? When I speak people diss E.F. Hutton."

Then, in 1985, Kool Doobie of Whistle made it more famous by spitting it on a much more popular record, their debut classic "(Nothin' Serious) Just Buggin'." [And yes, I did come up with this post idea when quoting that record in my last article about P-Man.]


"I'm like E.F. Hutton, E.F. Hutton, E.F. Hutton when I start to talk; 'cause everybody listens.  If they don't, then walk."

That same year, obscure Connecticut rapper Terrible T tripled it up it on his surprisingly catchy record "He's Terrible," where he employed similar commercial slogans like, "I'm finger lickin' good like Kentucky Fried Chicken."


"Like E.F. Hutton, when I talk, people listen."

The great Grandmaster Caz used the line sometime in '86-'87.  We don't know for sure because "Good, Fresh, Down, Time" wasn't released until the 2006 Tuff City Ol' Skool Flava compilation.


"I'm Hip-Hop's E.F. Hutton, 'cause all the people listen."

In 1989, the not as great MC Twist used it on his album track "B-L-N-T" (which stands for "better luck next time").


"You talk shit, I get like E.F. Hutton: BLAOW!!  Oh, y'all sure got quiet all of a sudden."

And the trend continued on into the 90s.  On Greek's 1993 posse cut "Rhyme for Ya Life," K-Rino got finally started getting a little more clever with it.


"It's goin' through me, got me struttin'. When E.F. Hutton talks, everybody listens."

One of the ones people probably remember most is Mystikal closing out his breakout 1995 single "Mind of Mystikal" with this last line, though he kind of just lays it down as a random non-sequitur.


"Like E.F. Hutton, when I talk, niggas listen."

And other big names were using it to.  On Mase's "Will They Die 4 You?," Lil Kim says it, even though by 1997 E.F. Hutton had pretty much ceased to exist.  What did that matter?  It was just clutter floating around in our collective subconscious.


"Like E.F. Hutton, don't say nothin'."

"Colonel nigga becoming the ghetto E.F. Hutton: holler 'UGHH' and every fuckin' soldier start stuntin'."

In 1998, Keith Murray used it on the Def Squad single "Ride Wit Us," as well as Silkk the Shocker on "I'm a Soldier."  See if you can guess which is which.


"40 talk like E.F. Hutton. Shhh, people listen."

And on into the 2000s, E-40 said it on 2002's "Mustard & Mayonnaise."


"I'm in the hood where the guns is nothin', and niggas don't say shit, like E.F. Hutton."

And Cappadonna brought it up on his 2003 posse cut "We Got This."


The Beastie Boys finally put it to bed on their 2004 album To the 5 Boroughs, specifically with the song "Rhyme the Rhyme Well," where they conclude the song with a big celebration of the throwback reference.  Mike D ends his last verse with the line, "now push the pause button, then start duckin'. Shh, you heard me like I'm E.F. Hutton."  Then, as Mix Master Mike cuts loose with a copy of "Public Enemy No. 1," they start repeating, "E.F. Shhh, Hutton!  Shhh, Hutton!  Shhh, Hutton!  Shhh, Hutton!"  Could the shush be a nod to E-40's record?  Maybe, but I'm more confident saying that the larger point of the E.F. Hutton routine was to embrace the endearing hoakiness of the random, and very old school recurring reference in our genre.  and maybe it was an intentional move to quash it, since they did make it hard for MCs to use it again after this, at least unironically; and I can't think of anyone saying it on a record since.

Meanwhile, the more business savvy or socially conscious amongst us will be interested to hear that E.F. Hutton came back in the 2010s.  Well, it quickly went into massive debt and closed down again.  But then it was resurrected a second time in the 2020s.  And now they've been uncovered as the company financially underwriting Donald Trump's Truth Social, and the new CEO has already been ousted for defrauding millions of dollars.  Good times!

All Night With the Sugarhill Gang

So I just saw the Sugarhill Gang last night!  I'm really not a concert guy; I've basically been to three shows before in my life: Partners In Kryme at Great Adventure, the SOHH show when we won an award (with performances by Naughty By Nature, The Arsonists, King Sun and others) and Dose One and Mr. Dibbs at the Chelsea Piers.  I'm just not one for spending all night standing in packed crowds to hear music in worse quality than I would at home on my record player.  But this was a free event, in my home town, when I wasn't doing anything else anyway, and the original Sugarhill Gang?  Even I'm not that much of a curmudgeon.

The main thing I was curious about was what the actual Sugarhill line-up would be.  Big Bank Hank, of course, is no longer with us.  RIP.  But there had been those years of drama where the group split, and Joey Robinson Jr. was touring using the group name, and Wonder Mike and Master Gee had to tour under a new name.  There had been a whole documentary about the legal battle called I Want My Name Back.  So, who was actually going to show up at my town event?  How many original members?  Was Kory O - the guy who joined the group when Master Gee quit in 1985, but stuck with them through the 90s - still down?  Was some new guy going to be calling himself Big Bank Hank, like how The Three Stooges got a replacement Curly?

On top of that, C+C Music Factory was going to be opening for them, which raises an almost identical set of questions.  I was never a C+C fan, but aren't they like another KLF situation, where C and C were two British guys who'd disbanded the group in the 90s or something?  And it was just the one temporarily affiliated rapper (in that case Wanda Dee, or in this case Freedom Williams) touring as them in recent years?  I'm not gonna look it up.  But who would we see now - maybe him and some dancers?  Speaking of the Arsonists, I would've been excited if one-time C+C MC Q-Unique showed up, but obviously I wasn't holding out a lot of hope for that.

Well, the plaza was packed, with a big crowd of all ages; and to give you a sense of where I'm from, they were playing Bon Jovi over the speakers as I walked in.  The show started late, but eventually our mayor came out and introduced a DJ... didn't catch his name, but he was from Long Island.  And he was pretty good.  I was happy to see him actually scratching and not just starting his Apple Playlist and then nodding his head behind a laptop.  But he made some weird choices, like playing the theme song to The Golden Girls, a Backstreet Boys song and even an Elmo (from Sesame Street) acapella.

Then C+C came out, and yes, it was Freedom Williams and a singer.  I don't think she was one of the originals from the actual records, but she was talented, and she rapped a little, too.  I'm not hugely familiar with their catalog, but I certainly recognized "Things That Make You Go Hmm" and "Gonna Make You Sweat."  Surprisingly, they got the biggest reaction when they did a cover of "Here Comes the Hot Stepper."  I don't think they did any of Freedom's solo stuff; I certainly would've recognized that George Michael "Freeeeedom" chorus if I'd heard it.

Anyway, they played an introductory video before The Sugarhill Gang stepped on stage, with tributes from guys like Big Daddy Kane and Flavor Flav.  Then the answer to my big question was finally revealed: one original member.  It was Master Gee (that's him in the white t-shirt in the top photo), who told us Wonder Mike could no longer travel.  But he had two guys with him, including Hen Dogg, who basically did Hank's parts (in "Rapper's Delight," he spelled his own name, not Grandmaster Caz's).  He's the guy who stood in for Hank during the that split with the Robinsons and everything.  And the other guy is the one who's credited as a member on their Wikipedia and everything, The Ethiopian King, plus they had their own DJ, T-Dynasty.  They did their biggest hits, of course, including "8th Wonder," "The La La Song" and here's a little video I took of them doing "Apache:"

They closed out with a major rendition of "Rapper's Delight," of course, with the crowd rapping the "macaroni's soggy" verse ourselves.  But that was it for actual Sugarhill Gang songs.  Instead they a surprising amount of medley stuff, including the Furious Five's "The Message" (yes, they left in the "fag" lyric) & "White Lines," and a tribute to Prince.  Since Master Gee was the only original member, I thought it might've been a good opportunity to perform "Do It," but that didn't happen.  I have to say, though, Master Gee really went all out, getting off stage to rock with the audience, doing a James Brown impression and really giving 110%.

So yeah, that's what a Sugarhill Gang show is like in 2024.  Good times.

Back In the UGSMag

The new issue of UGSMag is out, and guess who has another feature article in it!  Good guess, but no.  I'm actually talking about me!  I've got a big, seven-page interview with renowned NJ producer The Custodian of Records.  And it's not my usual career-spanning kind of interview.  This time I wanted to talk about something specific: the business of releasing music today.  Pressing vinyl, CDs, streaming platforms, working with indie labels vs doing it all yourself.  I feel like I've been studying it for so long from the consumers' side, I wanted to understand it from the artists' side.  And he's got some good stories.

There's some other good stuff in there, too: a Noah23 interview, book reviews, a whole interview with Charli 2na about his action figure and my personal favorite: an interview with the head of Hand'Solo Records.  It actually compliments my piece really well.  And yes, I'm already working on something for issue #4.

Oh, and I trust you guys all know about this by now.  If not, get on it!  I'll do a proper video on it when my copy arrives; but yeah, it goes right alongside Young Zee's Musical Meltdown as a project I'm excited to have played a small part getting out to the world.  And yeah, it's not the last project with the Dust & Dope guys either.  😎

UGSMag & Me

If you're a reader here, I hope you're also familiar with UGSMag.  They've been a great contributor to this online Hip-Hop game for ages, and one of the few remaining links on my Favorite Hip-Hop Sites widget after I just made another depressing cull of dead links.  They're supposedly based out of Austin, TX but always seem to be rooted in Canada, and started out posting great, original interviews beginning with SixToo back in 2000.  Then they switched to a steadier blog share format, but for underground Hip-Hop, sort of like if 2 Dope Boyz knew who Awol One was.  They also do podcast and radio stuff, but the blog has recently been put on "an indefinite hiatus, with our new focus being the UGSMAG print issues."

Yes, UGS is now a proper Magazine, coming out quarterly.  And I have a big feature in issue #2 that just came out.  It's a whopping nine pages!  And I got to interview Helixx C. Armageddon of The Anomolies, an interview I tried to make happen years ago for my blog, but couldn't get.  If you haven't heard, she's making a big comeback, and her - if you can believe it after all these years - debut solo album just came out last week.  So, as you can imagine, I had tons to ask about, and I think the piece turned out really well, if I don't say so myself.  Other pieces include interviews with Homebody Sandman, Fat Tony & LXVNDR, book reviews for Myka 9, Classified and DJ Screw, a piece on the 50th anniversary of the Technics SL-1200, and even a Canadian Hip-Hop crossword puzzle - it's not easy!  So check-a check-a check it out.  You can still cop issue #1 if you missed it, too.

Also, I know it's been a while since I've mentioned it, but that top secret, killer project with Dust & Dope Records is still coming.  There were issues with the test pressings and covers, and if you know anything about the quagmire currently going on with a very limited number of plants trying to press vinyl as the format makes a surprise comeback, you can imagine the nightmare delays.  This is why they didn't announce any street dates or take pre-orders.  But I understand we're close, and it's still definitely 100% on.  You're all gonna flip, and I don't say that lightly!  💪

TDS Mob, music videos and live performances

In conjunction with DWG, who released all four of these videos on their Treacherous, Devastating, Supreme DVD, I've uploaded the TDS Mob's 1989 music videos and live performance videos to Youtube.  Some classic Boston Hip-Hop history and killer material that more than holds up to this day - enjoy!

"TDS Scratch Reaction" official music video

Live at Lee School

Live on Exposure Video Magazine

"What's the World Coming To?" official music video

Dig On That

Look out!  Werner's just been spotted writing out in the wild again!

Have you guys ever heard of Dig Mag?  I don't mean the corny lifestyle website that first pops up when you google "Dig Mag," I'm talking about a dope little magazine about crate digging and hard to find music, i.e. just the kind of stuff anybody looking at our humble site here would be into.  It's relatively new - they've got five issues out so far - and they get a lot of cool DJs and music writers to contribute tales of finding rare vinyl.  And, well, I'm in it.

They publish out of the UK but they get writers from all over, and they cover all genres of music.  You can imagine I don't have a lot of stories to share about obscure Salsa 45s, but they've just come out with their first "Dig Deeper" special issue, focusing exclusively on Hip-Hop, and appropriately enough, that's the issue they reached out to me for.  You can see all the contributors in the picture, including some familiar names to regular readers here... I mean, there's Oxygen, an artist I was just writing about a couple posts back!

Now, when I called this magazine "little," I mean that literally.  It's the exact size and shape of a CD. It's 32 full color pages (I think the average issue is 24, but the special's 32) and the layout is really slick.  See how it's like a record in a crate?  The crate is a plastic cover, and the issue slips out of it.  You'll see.  Anyway, I have a 2-page spread in this issue.

And obviously I'm not a big mp3 guy, but the other thing about Dig is that each issue also includes an online mix of all the music talked about in the issue.  Not all of it's super rare or anything, but for example, DJ Format included an unreleased MC Shy-D I was excited to hear for the first time.  And for my part, I won't spoil the exact record I cover, but I'll just say I had to figure out a way to rip a full quality, white label-only DITC-related track.  And no, it's not Ground Floor, but if you put together that guess, I'm proud of ya.  😎

Anyway, I think it's pretty cool, and not just because I'm in it.  They're also putting out their first 7" record, too... although I'm pretty sure the guy behind Dig has released records before under a different label name.  Anyway, I'd recommend starting with the Hip-Hop special, and then check out the rest if it's up your alley.  It's definitely more of a thing, I'd say, for serious enthusiasts than just casual music fans.  It's just coming out this week, plus you can get back issues and reprints of the first couple issues that've already sold out at digmag.co.uk.

Wernski Is Rockin' On the Radiooooo

Hey, folks, I was just a guest on the Newt Podcast, a Hip-Hop podcast hosted by comic James Mascuilli that you can listen to here or on ITunes, Podbay, or wherever you like getting your podcasts from.  So you know, if you're the sort of person who finds yourself visiting this blog, maybe it's something you'd be interested in checking out.  My episode and another one interviewing DJ Mighty Mi were both posted on the same day.  Remember "Mighty Mi For Your Stereo System?"  That was fresh.

Top 13 Horror Movie Closing Credit Raps

There's nothing more entertaining, or perhaps cringe-worthy, then when a scary film ends and suddenly somebody starts rapping over the closing credits.  You actually don't see it very often, because metal is the traditional music genre of horror movies, at least in the 80s and 90s, when great horror films and great horror songs mostly came together.  So, when you did come across it, it really stood out.  Rapping during closing credits is a little tradition that started more in comedies, including such classic moments as Goldie Hawn and LL Cool J passing the mic back and forth in Wildcats, Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd exchanging verses in character at the end of Dragnet, John Leguizamo living up to his title in The Pest, or the starts of Richard Linklater's entire cast making goofy rap video at the end of Everybody Wants Some.

But that's comedy; you've seen it a million times in sitcoms, novelty records, commercials, etc.  The joke, inevitably, is: look, these milquetoast nerds have no natural rhythm, but they're rapping anyway!  Ha ha.  Thirty years of the same joke.  But in horror movies, expectations are different.  The mood is dark and serious.  The raps... should be good, right?  At least sometimes.  So here's my criteria of what I'm looking for in my Top 13.

Legit horror movies: Ideally these should be horror movies with some credibility, that horror fans would actually watch and respect.  Da Hip-Hop Witch doesn't count, and neither do horror parodies (I see you, Scary Movie, but you're not making this list).

Legit rappers: It's not essential, because there are some rap amateurs that just need to be included, but they definitely at least get bonus points if they rope genuine, known Hip-Hop recording artists with careers and albums into participating.

Relating to the movie: We want horror movie raps, not just rap songs that somehow got plastered onto a horror movie soundtrack.  Kool Moe Dee wrapping up Nightmare On Elm St. 5 was exciting for a minute, until you realize he's just talking about LL Cool J, not Freddy Kreuger.  The closer the lyrics of the song tie into the film, the better!

...Or at least horror-themed: Short of relating to the movie, I at least want some horrorcore, spitting lyrics about ghosts and decapitations.  We want spookiness, in tone with the movie we just watched, not just some teenager bragging about his car, or some old Steady B love song because the film company had a blanket deal with the record label (I see you, Ghost In the Machine).

Placement: I'm looking for a real theme, here, not just a song tucked deep in the film's soundtrack.  Hearing two notes as a character drives up in his car like Trespass is lame.  I want songs that play in the film's credits, preferably on their own, because they're the final element to the film's telling of the story, not some afterthought.

You feel me, right?  I think these are reasonable expectations.  So without further ado, let's jump into

Top 13 Horror Movies With Closing Credit Raps:

13. Dr. Hackenstein's "The Hackenstein Rap" (1989. Available on wax? Yes!) - This one's at the bottom of the list because it's loose with some of the criteria.  Dr. Hackenstein is clearly sort of a horror parody, and there's no real rappers on here (just composer Claude Lehenaff with female vocalist Karen Clark).  But how could I leave it off?  The song was released on 12" with a glorious picture cover, which is better known now than the original film that spawned it.  "The Hackenstein Rap" itself is fairly disco-y, and there's at least as much singing as there is rapping; but it's pretty dang fun, and definitely works as a theme for the film with a chorus that goes, "he wants your body for his wife; he wants to bring her back to life, yeah!"  There's even an exclusive remix on the 12".

12. Scream 2's "Scream" (1997. Available on wax? Sort of! The soundtrack was released on CD and cassette, and there's a bootleg white label pressing of this particular song.) - Points deducted for not making it on the original Scream's soundtrack, and even more points deducted for lyrics that have nothing to do with film-obsessed serial killers.  But they got Master P (and Silkk the Shocker) to release a "Scream" song when they were at the peaks of their careers, so that's pretty impressive.  They just rap about how hard they had it growing up, but there is a scream sound effect in the hook, and in the music video (yes, there was a music video for this), they rap in front of the iconic Scream mask and mix in some cool Mardi Gras death mask imagery.  It's just too bad the song sucks, particularly the way P lays his "uggh" sound into the screaming hook, killing the energy of it.

11. Seed of Chucky's "Cut It Up" (2005. Available on wax? No, but the soundtrack album's available on CD with this song on it.) - This song would be higher on the list if this were anywhere close to the original Child's Play, but I'm letting my prejudice against the later Chucky films hold it down.  There was actually a sort of rap song planned for the original film's soundtrack, but they decided not to use it at the last minute.  But we got this!  Fredwreck (yes, the guy who used to produce The B.U.M.s) gets busy over the film's closing credits, and yes, his song is all about Chucky.  Of course, we all know they should've gotten Bushwick Bill and Gangksta N.I.P. for this; but hey, these guys really seem to understand the appeal of a horror movie rap theme and go for the gold.  So they earned their place on this list.

10. Popcorn's "Scary, Scary Movies" (1991. Available on wax? Nope.) - This film reaches #10 primarily for being such a fan favorite horror film with the peculiar sensibilities to end in a rap.  So it's a beloved moment for fans, and they pay homage to horror films with a lot of enthusiasm, but they're hardly great MCs.  Like a couple other songs on the soundtrack, it's performed by Ossie D & Stevie G, a reggae duo who were certainly good sports and rapped "American" for this one, using rough, grimy voices to include some amusing, specific references to the film like, "blood sucking insects hanging from a rope, get electrocuted by the Shock-O-Scope!"

9. Phantasm RaVager's "Reggie Rap" (2016. Available on wax? No.) - Yes, Phantasm recently came back with a new sequel, and this time they ended with a rap song.  It's performed by somebody named Elvis Brown who has a Soundcloud with more of his songs here, and the "Reggie" of the title refers to the series' hero Reggie, who travels the country, pursuing The Tall Man with his four-barrel shotgun.  It scores some big points for being an enthusiastic horror rap and crafting lyrics that stick tight to the films, but loses some for autotune and Doug E. Fresh having beaten them to the punch of turning the Phantasm theme into a rap song by about 30 years.

8. The Fear's "Morty's Theme" (1994. Available on wax? Hell yes!) - The only reason this entry isn't even higher on the list is that it's such a crap, disappointing film.  The premise is cool: a bunch of characters gather together to face their fears in a weird therapy session, but their fears all come to life and take them out, ultimately personified by a wooden man they call Morty.  Wes Craven cameo'd in it, and I know I wasn't the only one who thought this was going to be good; but it wound up being cheap and dumb.  Mostly dumb, with really bad acting.  Admittedly, the even worse sequel made this film look a little better by comparison, but nope.  Not nearly enough.  Anyway, the soundtrack album is an essential who's who of horrorcore, including tracks by everybody from The Gravediggaz to The Headless Horsemen.  And the ultimate honor of crafting the film's titular theme song fell to horrorcore legend himself, Esham.  And it kind of rocks, managing to bring Morty and the film's story into the verses without making it seem like a gimmicky novelty rap.

7. Lunatics: A Love Story's "The Reynolds Rap" (Available on wax? No.) - It was hard to decide where to put this one on the list, but ultimately I felt it belonged pretty squarely in the middle.  The main thing holding it back is that this is just barely a horror movie, if it qualifies at all.  But it's definitely a cult film by horror veterans with some strong horror elements.  Essentially Ted Raimi is a lunatic, who meets a beautiful woman and falls in love when he realizes she's crazy, too.  But to be with her, he has to venture outside of his apartment and battle all of his delusions he encounters along the way, including a giant killer spider and Bruce Campbell as an evil doctor.  Helping this song immensely is the fact that director Josh Becker hired the legit, underground rap group Detroit's Most Wanted ("City of Boom" was probably their best known record) to perform his lyrics.  Better still, this film doesn't just play uninterrupted in the film's closing credits (though it does), DMW also appear in the film as themselves, assaulting Raimi with their rhymes in his crazy fever dreams.

6. Monster Squad's "Monster Squad Rap" (1987. Available on wax? You bet.) - Look, Monster Squad is a silly but high quality, quite enjoyable movie.  So the fact that the "Monster Squad Rap" is super corny is appropriate.  Anyway, that's my excuse for having such a bad rap this high on the list.  I mean, say what you want, but fans treasure it, as evidenced by the fact that this soundtrack has been repressed on wax several times in the last couple of years.  The rock-ish hook and clunky rapping is super cheesy but catchy in a way that's perfect for a movie where a bunch of kids team up with Frankenstein's monster to save the world from Dracula and The Creature From the Black Lagoon.  Put alongside serious Hip-Hop, sure it's tripe; but it's an essential component of a great horror flick for young adults.

5. Maniac Cop 2's "Maniac Cop Rap" (1989. Available on wax? Yes!) - I once got to ask William Lustig about who the actual rappers were on the "Maniac Cop Rap," but unfortunately he didn't remember.  Just some guys that composer Jay Chattaway brought in for the day.  According to the credits themselves, they're Yeshua (Josh) Barnes and Brian (B. Dub) Woods.  Anyway, everyone deserves credit for making a rip roaring rap theme for this rare sequel that's even better than its predecessor, with Josh and B kicking fun raps about the killer cop ("when he shows up, he's supposed to protect ya, but Maniac Cop is out to get ya. He's an anti-vigilante and they can't convict him, so watch out, Jack, 'cause you're the next victim!") over a beat that makes excellent use of Chattaway's classic theme from the original.  This blew my mind when I first heard it pop up in the credits back in the 80s, and I'm still not completely over it.

4. Deep Blue Sea's "Deepest Bluest" (1999. Available on wax? Of course, and you already own it.) - No surprise to see this on the list!  This song's pretty bit infamous, though it helps a lot if you recognize the line, "my hat is like a shark's fin" from his 1988 classic "I'm Bad."  Anyway, this whole movie is famous for being enjoyably dumb.  It's about super genius sharks fighting underwater scientists, and LL Cool J plays a ridiculous cook with a parrot as his only friend.  Samuel Jackson has one of the most famous deaths in film history, and this clearly inspired the whole Sharknado and rip-offs craze that swept the nation.  But still, LL's theme song managed to outshine it all.  There's a 12", a music video and everything.  LL's mostly just rapping about being a vicious rapper, and doing a genuinely good job of it, and incorporating the film's violent shark imagery to do it.  Unfortunately, that hat line struck everyone as so silly, it went down in history as a joke song.  But that also secured its place in history - it's certainly the most famous song on this list - so I guess he can't complain.

3. Waxwork II's "Lost In Time" (1992. Available on wax? No, but the music video's included on the latest blu-ray release.) - I'm tempted to list this even higher, but I realize the world may not appreciate this quite as much as I do.  Director Anthony Hickox brought in The LA Posse, the group that spawned Breeze and The Lady of Rage, to perform the theme song.  Does it follow the film's plot?  Oh yes, and they deserve extra credit for that, given how eccentric this film's plot is.  Better still, Hickox directed a complete music video for the song that plays over the credits, so The LA Posse are rapping in the film's many exotic locations, and the movie's stars, including Gremlin's Zach Galligan, are dancing with the posse.  The beat's pretty dope, too; though the ridiculous lyrics prevent it from being taken seriously at all.  But as part of Waxwork II, which is itself quite tongue-in-cheek, it works!

2. Hood of Horror's "Welcome To the Hood of Horror" (2006. Available on wax? No.) - Look, I was pretty disappointed that Snoop Dogg's Nightmare On Elm St knock-off Bones couldn't make this list.  It does have a a good rap theme song ("The Legend of Jimmy Bones" by Snoop, Ren & RBX, and produced by Seed of Chucky's Fredwreck), but they don't play it over the credits or anything.  Instead, Snoop closes the show with a generic song called "Dogg Named Snoop," which has nothing to do with the film or anything horror-themed at all.  But fortunately he fixes that with his second horror film, Hood Of Horror, where he pulls a Waxwork II, making a whole video for the song to play under the credits.  Unfortunately, the movie's not the best; and it's not exactly one of Snoop's greatest hits, but he comes off pretty well over a slow, dark beat.  It would fit in nicely on any horror mixtape.

1. Nightmare On Elm St 4's "Are You Ready for Freddy" (1988. Available on wax? For sure!) - I know The Fat Boys were too crossover and kid-friendly to please some heads, but they were genuinely talented.  Granted, this was past the time they started working with credible producers like Kurtis Blow and Marley Marl and were drifting into major label rock guys' hands, but they still knocked it out the park with this one.  I mean, they actually got Robert Englund to rap in character as Freddy on this one.  And I love the detailed lyrics that really show they're intimately familiar with the films ("even in part three, the dream warriors failed, and Mr. Big Time Freddy Krueger prevailed. It was just about that time, I know you'll never forget what he did to the girl with the TV set!"), which is more than you can say for most soundtrack songs, horror or otherwise.  You've got Buff beatboxing, a music video with the real Freddy in it, and they work the film's original soundtrack expertly into their instrumental - what's not to love?

Honorable Mentions:

Bad Biology's "So You Wanna Make a Movie" (2008. Available on wax? No.) - Frank Henonletter, the man who made Basket Case, made his comeback with a film co-written by RA the Rugged Man.  RA's been referencing Henenlotter's work for decades, and appeared on some of his DVD special features, so it was only a matter of time until they made a movie together, I guess.  Unfortunately, the film's weird mix of exploitative horror and trashy Hip-Hop sensibilities just added up to something juvenile and disappointing.  I mean, Vinnie Paz's acting is just like you'd think it would be.  But given his participation, it was a given RA would also have a rap song for the credits, but it's not really about Bad Biology's story.  Maybe that's just as well in this case.  Instead it's about the hardships of making an independent film, in essence a theme song about the making of this film.  That's an original slant, props for that, but by the time you hear it in its context, it just feels like more of everything that went wrong with this picture.

13 Ghosts' "Mirror Mirror" (2001. Available on wax? Nah.) - Neither a great movie nor a great rap theme song, but at least they tried.  Rah Digga, who played a sizeable supporting role in the film, naturally comes back to rap up the closing credits.  Unfortunately, it's not about the film's plot or horror at all; it's just about overcoming life's challenges.  She does make a reference to seeing her grandmother again, like a ghost, and there's a little theremin-like sound in the track, so it feels like she's throwing in little token semi-references to the movie, but that's even worse, because it just makes it feel like a lazy, half-assed song.  Like, be about ghosts or don't, but don't try to play both sides of the fence.  Nice try, but nobody wants to hear club raps like "I can live like a baller" on a bloody horror movie.

Leprechaun In the Hood's "Ride Or Die" (2000. Available on wax?  No.) - Obviously this movie had to get at least a mention.  It's a campy mash0-up of horror and "hood" movies with a rapper named Postermaster P for a main character and Ice-T in a leading role.  Leprechaun himself even raps at the end of the movie... but before the closing credits and the film's underwhelming outro song by some dudes called The Boom Brothers.  It's not great, but they do at least include the leprechaun in their lyrics.  Interestingly, Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (the sixth actual Leprechaun movie) just plays traditional score over its closing credits, although of course it does have some rap on its soundtrack, including a song by Zion I.

Other films that didn't make the list but rate a mention include Psycho 3, which has a very strange little rap song tucked away on its soundtrack called "Dirty Street."  Shark Night ends with a music video that starts after the closing credits where the film's lead actors make a terrible rap video (though fitting with the film's campy, junk TV nature).  And Japanese pop rock band Sekai no Owari pretty much rapped (in English, no less) through the closing credits rap Attack On the Titan with their song called "Anti Hero," guest produced by Dan the Automator.  But it's more iffy if the film counts as horror (it's more of a dystopian YA fantasy actioner), then if the song counts as Hip-Hop.

Also there was a 2000 film called The Convent, which I naively saw at a screening when I was young enough to believe that when the producers said their film was just like Evil Dead to expect something comparable.  Anyway, Coolio had a small role in it as a cop, and the film ends with an original closing credits rap by him called "Show Me Love."  But it wasn't a horror-related song at all, and a couple years later, he wound up sticking it on one of his albums called El Cool Magnifico.

Besides Scary Movie, there are other horror-related comedies with rap themes, including Ghostbusters II, which had songs by both Run DMC and Doug E Fresh. And there's the Addams Family movies, which made music videos and everything for their theme songs by Hammer and Tag Team. The screenshot at the top of this article is from M. Night Shymalan's The Visit (an unacknowledged knock-off of the 80's movie Grandmother's House), where the lead kid raps us out during the closing credits.

And finally, no I didn't forget.  Tales From the Hood.  What a disappointment.  It should've had a soundtrack like The Fear, only with even bigger artists, which it sort of did.  But instead of horrorcore/ scary songs, it's just dark hardcore and gangsta rap.  The closing credits play Scarface/ Face Mob, and the title track is by Domino, who doesn't wind up rapping about anything scary at all, let alone something having to do with the actual film.  Admittedly, it's a solid soundtrack album just taken as a collection of original songs by the day's biggest rap artists; but I just can't shake how let down I felt that it copped out since the day I first bought it.

Stickers Must Die!

(Just a little mini-video for you today.  I wanted to try something I'd been reading about: removing old, crackly stickers from record covers.  Usually you wind up tearing up the covers if you attempt it, but some online sources recommended using a hair dryer to heat it up, and as you can see... it works!  An amazing modern miracle of super-technology!  And we'll return to my regular-style programming next vid.  😉  Youtube version is here.)

Check Me Out On the Lowdown NoFlow Show!

Checka checka check it out! I was a guest on the latest episode of the LOWdown noFLOW SHOW on Chuck D's Rapstation, an online radio show specializing in instrumental Hip-Hop. Host C-Doc and I talk Hip-Hop music, producers and instrumental albums, and of course play some dope beats. I had a lot of fun just hangin' out and talking about rap music, so I hope you guys enjoy the episode.  =)

Kanye West's Fake Twitter Army Is Real!

(Youtube version is here.)

Young Zee's Musical Meltdown Pt 3, Finale!

(Youtube version is here.)

Was The Rake Really Wack?

So I just read a kinda weird article and felt compelled to respond... Apparently AV Club has a running series where they get celebrities to trash pop songs they hate. I somehow landed on one where Steve Coogan was bashing "Lady In Red," and while pop music is really not my thing, it was fun. It's a strong and easy premise... a stand up comic will dish on a Katy Perry song, someone else does a light piece on how annoying "The 12 Days of Christmas" is, David Lynch rants about the "It's a Small World" song. You get the drift. But today they tackled one of their first hip-hop songs. And you'd think, okay, somebody's gonna make fun of Vanilla Ice or point out how bad the rapping was in "The Superbowl Shuffle." But instead they landed on The Rake's "Street Justice" as "the one song they hate most in the world."

Wait. What?

To be fair, this week's celebrity (a cartoonist named Ed Piskor) opened up by stating he doesn't really hate any song, so this was just as close as he got. And hey, everyone's entitled to their opinion and hate whatever they hate. This post is not a "listen, that guy is some kind of jerk for not liking X" retort. I'm not going in on the guy. He seems to know his shit, and I can certainly see why younger listeners would find "Street Justice"'s style super old school and corny. I mean, I did stop reading about a halfway through when he stopped talking about the subject of his article and went on promoting his comics (come on, Lynch didn't go, "but enough about that silly song, let's talk about some DVDs I have for sale!"). But no it's actually a fine, quick read I recommend (at least the first third of) because how often do you find substantive posts about hip-hop records from 1983 these days?

But I wanted to write this after reading that because it really sells this record short and there's just more to be said about it. I mean, he does specifically say the song didn't have any impact on the culture because he can't point to anyone trying to replicate The Rake, which is... a little bit crazy.

So, for those that don't know, The Rake is a one record act, and this is it. It came out on Profile Records in 1983, well after "The Message" and right on the heals of "It's Like That" (which also on Profile, of course). And the first thing you'll notice about it is that it's really dark. It's a narrative about rape and murder in a tone on that wouldn't really come around again until The Geto Boys. Or at least Ice-T. I mean, you want to talk about the replication of The Rake? There it is. Ice-T and all the earliest roots of gangsta rap - from the violent street life tales to the slow, cold style of delivery - owe quite a lot to this record. This is like "6 In the Mornin'" three years before "6 In the Mornin'."

And really, think 1983. Run DMC was just gaining a foothold in its move to push hip-hop out of the Sugarhill disco era. And what's The Rake talking about? He runs home after getting a phone call telling him that his wife was raped by three teens in the course of a brutal home invasion:

"I was not prepared for the things I saw,
When I opened up the apartment door.
The TV was in pieces; the furniture was scattered,
Mirrors were all busted up and window panes were shattered.
My kids were in the bedroom, they were beat up bad.
With tears in his eyes, my little boy said,
'We did all we could; we put up a fight;'
And I took him in my arms and told him he did right."

Yeah, this is some serious shit. It's followed by an entire verse about how his wife looked like a corpse as he watched the medics carry her out of their apartment. Nobody was writing shit like this back in 1983. Hell, you'd have a bard time finding songs written on this level in 1993.

And yeah, this song has a serious message, too, as the second part of the song invokes a "brother cop" pulling him aside at the scene of the crime and saying,

"'Brother, I'm sorry,' and he looks real sincere,
'Now dig what I'm saying; make sure you read me clear.
For all you can see is something that's terrible and cruel,
But it ain't no exception, it's more like the rule.
Go to the precinct and you know what they;ll say:
This happens here twenty-four hours a day.
No one was killed; ain't no big deal.
Some lady was raped, but her scars will heal.'"

Other classic message songs like Kurtis Blow's "8 Million Stories" or Toddy Tee's "Batterram" would never have a gut-punching line like that, even though it's obvious they're taking direct inspiration from this. Especially the west coast artists, who also borrowed the marriage of a smooth vocal vocalist with a funky-basslined electro track.

Now if you paid attention to the title of the song, you can guess how the song ends. Our narrator takes the law into his own hands and murders the three teens. I"ll acknowledge that the song leans on the heavy0handed side and it's not all as personally written as the parts I quoted. It's a great concept song, but The Rake would've really needed some additional aid from a real rhyme-smith like Spoonie Gee to file this 'masterpiece.' And the AV Club smartly compares the song's plot to a Charles Bronson movie, which does manage to suck some of the gravitas out of the proceedings when you think of it that way.

But damn, I mean, just look at that cover! Newspaper headlines about rape and murder, plus a creepy Bible quote spayed over in red graffiti. It would be a long time before you saw a hip-hop cover as heavy as that from anybody on any label, period.

The Source magazine listed this as one of the biggest '25 Turning Points In Hip-Hop' in their 50th issue special. They didn't really break-down why (with 24 other songs to squeeze onto a 2-page spread with a big photo, each song wound up with about one sentence apiece), but hopefully this post helps make it clear at least why I think it's so pivotal.

One final point. The AV Club article makes a big deal about how this song was co-written by two white guys. The label actually credits three, who also all produced, so I'm not sure which one they're leaving out. But okay, anyway. First, I'm a little suspicious of those credits, since it was often the case where the rappers who wrote the actual raps wouldn't get writing credit alongside whoever the producers (and again, that would be themselves in this case) wanted to credit, back in the 80s... As if, for example, John Lennon and Paul McCartney were actually responsible for The Fat Boys' rhymes on their remake of "Baby I';m a Rich Man." Unfortunately, it wasn't the exception but more like the rule to screw these young, black artists out of their publishing back then. And as it happens, The Rake was actually a fairly well established song writer himself, having a hand in a number of credible Soul records in the 70s and earlier 80s, under his real name Keith Rose. So it seems unlikely he would've had no creative input himself.

And it's also worth noting that those "[three] white guys" have got several Grammy, Academy and Tony Awards between them. So I think it might be a little unfair to write them off so dismissively. That fact might have something to do with why The Rake never had a follow-up record, though, as some- or every-body involved might've seen the endeavor as a sort of one-off experiment. And that's kind of a shame, because okay, it's dated and some of the lines sound corny now. Enough so that the AV Club just dedicated a whole article to mocking it as wack. But honestly, more smooth, dark proto-gangsta NY rap records like this would've been pretty cool to have back in the 80s.

Werner's R&B Quiz Show Challenge Spectacular - Special Vinyl Edition!!!!

(The Youtube version is here, contestants.)

Giving DJ EZ Rock Back His Due

About two weeks ago, the world was shocked to learn about the passing of DJ EZ Rock. When I tweeted the sad news, I linked to the best article I could find about it, which happened to be from Rolling Stone. I paused, because I noticed some misinformation, but I decided to just let it slide. I mean, nobody looks to Rolling Stone for highly informed hip-hop coverage. And no one else had published anything better. At least they knew his partner was Rob Base and that they made that song from the Sandra Bullock movie.

So here's what Rolling Stone wrote that's wrong: "Bryce would not appear on Rob Base's 1989 follow-up The Incredible Base, but reunited with the rapper for 1994's Break of Dawn."

They probably just sourced that info from Wikipedia, which says, "DJ E-Z Rock also was forced to leave the group due to his own personal issues, so Rob Base was left to be a solo artist.[citation needed] He responded in 1989 with The Incredible Base, his debut solo album. It did not sell as well as It Takes Two. One song from the album hit the dance chart in late 1989: "Turn It Out (Go Base)," credited only to Rob Base. Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock had a reunion album in 1994."  Citation needed indeed.

I only blog about it now because it seems everybody is reporting this fact...

Billboard wrote that, "Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock would split soon after [It Takes Two] only to reunite in 1994." HipHopDX wrote, "While Rob Base followed up It Takes Two with a solo album of his own called The Incredible Base, the duo reunited six years later." Consequence of Sound wrote, "E-Z Rock was not featured on Rob Base’s 1989 record The Incredible Base." XXL wrote, "Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock would split after the success of It Takes Two for personal reasons," TheBoomBox.xom wrote, "After the success of that album, Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock split up due to personal reasons, only to reunite in 1994 for their second album,‘Break of Dawn.’" The Huffington Post wrote, "E-Z Rock was not featured on Rob Base's 1989 album, 'The Incredible Base'..."  I could go on and on. There's tons more articles saying the same few sentences, all clearly having just copied the wikipedia or each other.

The Truth:

Yes, their first and third albums are credited to Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock, while the second album only lists Rob Base as the artist. That much is true. But Rob Base did not make The Incredible Base (or any other album) without EZ Rock. They made all their records together and none separately. EZ Rock is all over The Incredible Base; and it's impossible to miss for anybody who's ever actually listened to it.

Rob Base starts off the song "Get Up and Have a Good Time" by saying, "Now with the help of my man EZ Rock - and I'm Rob Base - we're getting ready to kick it off." Then, in the same song, he says, "EZ Rock in the back on the wheels." There's plenty of songs with cuts on them here (they're the only good part of the song "War"), and you certainly don't see anybody else credited with them.

Big Daddy Kane's albums are just credited to Big Daddy Kane, but that doesn't mean he broke up with Mister Cee right before every release. Cool V was still The Biz's DJ even though his name wasn't on the covers. Neither DJ K-La Boss or DJ Scratch's initials were part of EPMD, but they were still the group DJs. You get the point. DJs just typically weren't credited on hip-hop albums, especially as we moved into the 90s.

And since Rob Base's music was moving further in the direction of pop on The Incredible Base, it made even more sense not to have split the bill with his DJ. Like when MC Hammer dropped the "MC" from his name. And after that flopped due to the push-back against crossover rap, he decided to make a bid for hip-hop credibility again for his reunion comeback album in 1994, by returning to the old school style of crediting the DJ. Maybe there really were some "personal issues" between them around this time; but EZ Rock was definitely still on board for that middle album.

Hell, the man has his own solo song on The Incredible Base, called "Dope Mix." You know, one of those fresh DJ solo songs like "DJ Premier In Deep Concentration" or "Touch Of Jazz," where the spotlight is finally turned towards the man on the turntables? In fact, "Dope Mix" would make the perfect song to feature in a tribute article about him, much more appropriate than just "It Takes Two" again.

And see the photo at the top of this article? That's a screenshot of him doing the cuts in the official music video for their lead single, "Turn It Out," which they keep cutting back to. He was hardly hidden away. But because some random, uninformed internet user decided EZ Rock must have been uninvolved with The Incredible Bass, suddenly it's become the unquestioned history put forth by every music journalist who's never listened in the first place*. So call me nitpicky - I admit I might be going in a little hard here on what many would probably consider a negligible detail - but I just wanted to write this to let you guys know that this rumor you're reading everywhere** isn't really the truth, and to give EZ Rock his credit for this album.

RIP


*And how long will it be until somebody resolves that "Citation Needed" issue on the wiki article by linking to some of these articles that got this tidbit from the erroneous article, completing the circle of irony and "proving" the misinformation?

**They even wrote a song decrying rumors just like this on The Incredible Base. It's called "Rumors." :P

Reminiscing… Record Stores

(Youtube version is here.)

Questionable Lyrics #4: Trigger Warning: Robin Givens

In 1989, Kool Moe Dee wrote a very angry record directed at women because he gathered that they were all out to cozy up to him only to later steal his cash. Mind you, he wasn't just out to deflect specific women he perceived to be gold diggers; for him this applied to all women. As the chorus said, "No, I ain't got no girlfriend. No, I ain't buy no car. No, I ain't got no babies. A lot of ladies? Nah, they want money." That's a... strong stance. I mean, that means he's celibate now, right? Well, anyway, it's actually another line from this song, a  small section from his second verse, that stood out to be as particularly interesting:

"I know the game; it's old and lame.
You're holdin' a flame for my name and my fame.
Livin' like Givens schemin' on Tyson;
But she got lucky, 'cause he was a nice one.
But I ain't nice, and I don't play that."

Mike Tyson - the convicted rapist famous for biting the ear off an opponent in a boxing ring, in addition to multiple convictions of assault -  was a nice one? It could be, in the words of McBain, "that's the joke." Or maybe it's just that Tyson was going through a brief period as a hip-hop hero (which I've discussed a bit here, but is probably due for a post of its own). And, after all, this preceded pretty much all of his arrests and controversies (specifically: the cases of sexual assault in 1990, rape in 1992, two assaults in 1998, two assaults in 2002, another assault in 2003, possession in 2006, DUI in 2007, and an assault in 2009), so maybe we were all just a little more naive in 1989.

But the line isn't really about Tyson, it's about Robin Givens, best known for playing a high school student in the network sitcom, Head Of the Class. Well, the reference is of course that she was married to Tyson for about a year (married in 1988 and divorced in 1989, then remarried to someone else years later), backing out of the marriage claiming assault. Apparently Dee couldn't bring himself to believe that Mr. Tyson was the violent type, and that Robin Givens must've been lying and "schemin'" to get him for his alimony.

It's infinitely beyond one line in one rapper's song, though. What's struck me is how many other rappers felt compelled to use the exact same line in their own songs. You thought rappers couldn't stop biting each other's Tinactin references? Wait'll you get a load of this. I spent the last couple nights trying to remember Robin Givens lines, and here's what I came up with:

"So how ya livin'? Like a turkey on Thanksgiving?
Or like Robin Givens?"

That was perhaps the most memorable is Big Daddy Kane's question on "Another Victory."

"It's in my nature to keep robbin' like Givens."

And who can forget the above quote from Rock on "Headz Ain't Ready?"

"Success ain't nothin' without someone to share it with,
Except a girl with a Robin Givens Starter Kit."

Positive K obviously shared Moe Dee's views on "Minnie the Moocher."

"A fat eye, 'cause that's just what I'm givin'. I hate hoes that try to play niggas out like Robin Givens."

Of course, you know JT Money had to get in on this, which he did on Luke's "Movin' Along," the song that reunited The Poison Clan and also featured Likkle Wikked. I mean, the phrase "I hate hoes" seems to appear in his bars more ofthen than the word "the."

"Like Robin Givens, I'm concerned about your plastic."

Common, back when he was Common Sense, had a little diss song for the ladies called "Tricks Up My Sleeve."  It featured some random female rapper spitting game back to him towards the end of the song, and she tied it all together by also referencing "the head of the class."

"Catch Tyson for half that cash like Robin Givens."

Certainly an unforgettable example is 50 Cent's classic "How To Rob." What's interesting to note is how long after Moe Dee's record came out, this line was still alive. This one dropped in 1999, a full decade later, and it's not even the most contemporary example we'll see.

"Like Robin Givens, skins want to make the big toast."

Maestro Fresh Wes gets in on it for his under-rated underground single, "Mic Mechanism."

"Now you look booty like that bum Miss Givens."

Oh yeah, and LL Cool J took that shot on "Junglin' Baby." It's not about her divorce, though, just her looks.  Is that... better?

"Now you're sayin' I'm missin'
True love, huggin' and kissin'
Like Tyson and Givens, that's the condition."

BWP have some fun by gleefully adopting the persona of a heartless gold digger on "We Want Money," and couldn't resist taking Robin down with them.

"But the bitch was scandalous like Robin Givens,"

MC Eiht jumped on the dog-pile on "Can I Still Kill It?"

"Takin' over spots like my name was Robin Givens."

Rah Digga kept it simple on "Break Fool." 

"I'm livin' to destroy Mikes like Robin Givens."

Red Hot Lover Tone adds an extra pun to the concept (mics/Mikes) on his single "#1 Player."

"A Brooklyn Queen rushes Russell Simmons?
That's like Tyson rushin' Givens!"

Pete Nice inverts the reference (sort of) on his 3rd Bass hit "Brooklyn Queens."

"I bring turmoil like Mike and Robin Givens."

I remembered Erick Sermon had a line about her, but I looked it up online and it was actually a compliment unrelated to her marriage, "more flyer than Robin Givens" ("Bomdigi"). But then I realized that wasn't the song I was thinking of, so I kept looking until I found the above, from "We Don't Care." Even that, though, doesn't push her as an iconic gold digging totem like the rest.

But I knew there was a lot more. Rappers have made Robin Givens into a hip-hop boogeyman, a legendary figure who could appear at any time, in the guise of any woman, to take you for all your money. An evil witch to be feared. So I went google crazy - in the process discovering that Smoke DZA even wrote an entire song called "Robin Givens" - and came up with a ton more.

"Ain't no room for Robin Givens."

Says ESG on "How We Swang."

"I suck up men like Robin Givens."

Philly rapper Hearoshima proves he's confident enough in his masculinity to drop the above line.

"Me so blinded, ain't see the Robin Givens in you."

Beanie Siegel dresses down a "crazy bitch" on "Bread and Butter." Notice this Givens thing doesn't turn up on many PC songs...

"I call it Robin Givens:
Flo Rida extort ya, take you Pinto to Porsche."

And speaking of un-PC, you know Flo Rida's gotta have one ("Roll"). I like how he speaks as if he coined something original, too, deep in this long line of the same simile, and his being one of the most recent (2008, twenty years after Moe Dee).

"A lot of women is real, some bitches Robin Given.
I never give ‘em no liquid, no pot to piss in."

Wale and Rick Ross teamed us to bring us that lyrical treat on "Play Your Part."

"Dodging Robin Givens, balling like I’m Roger Clemens."

And Rick Ross dipped into the well again, with John Legend on "Who Do We Think We Are."

"And the bitch who fucks with my cash,
Robin Givens, I'll whip your ass!"

Kid Rock has a whole verse on "Pimp Of the Nation" going at famous women from Rosanne Barr to Tipper Gore, and of course you know who that includes and why.

"And yes I know the rules: never marry Robin Givens."

By the time Lil Wayne got to it on Bun B's "Damn I'm Cold," it was a codified rule.

"And I see them rappers is actors, boy, they so Robin Givens."

Ace Hood adopts it as a standard adjective and applies it to MCs on "Have Mercy."

"I don't know no Robin Givens, plus we can't get that involved."

Chamillionaire's "Playa Status" was just aching for a Givens line, and it got it.

"Scandalous like Robin Givens,"

Kane and Abel (specifically Kane) cite among the "7 Sins" on their song with Master P. P has another Givens reference on a different record ("Watch Deez Hoes" off his Ice Cream Man album), but he goes the Sermon route by having his guest Mr. Serv On dropping another line complimenting her looks, "I ain't trippin' if some hoes look like Robin Givens."  I mean, you know, as big a compliment as a line can be that still refers to "hoes."

"Material girl in a material world,
Don't try to play yourself, you only slay yourself.
So when a guy says, 'Yo baby, how you're livin?'
I'm not livin' like Robin Givens!"

Even Ultimate Force shared the sentiment on their song called "Girls."

"First you look at me wrong,
Like uh uh, no he didn't.
Then you turn into Robin,
Only you start to give in.
Get it?"

Oy vey. Yes, Wiz Khalifa, we get it. ...That was from "Friendly."

"Bitch, I got a sister who schooled me to shit you chickens do:
Tricking fools; got a whole Robin Givens crew that I kick it to."

Even Jay-Z threw down on this trend, on the predictably titled "Bitches and Sisters" on the Blueprint 2. He had a related line about Tyson on "Holy Grail," too.

"The Famous story of Mike Tyson and Robin Givens:
The Biggest niggas get beat Senseless by little women."

Curren$y still touting the narrative on "#JetsGo."

"And Robin Givens, she's still tryin' to play me like I'm Tyson."

Bizzy Bone might be expressing some delusional - even wishful - thinking on "Less Fame."

"I hope you more like Anita Baker than Robin Givens.
No, I don't know that lady, so let me quit it."

Forced rhyme aside, Andre3000 gets about as fair as anybody's prepared to on John Legend (his second appearance on this list!)'s "Green Light."

"Don't diss me, 'cause I'm the reason why you livin'.
This ain't Mysonne and Ness, nigga; this is Tyson and Robin Givens."

Of course there can't be a stupid lyrical trend with Royce da 5'9 saying "me too!" The song is called "Y'all Must Of Forgot," although the correct expression would be "must have forgot ...ten."

"Niggas in Compton'll make your ass see sparks like Robin Givens."

MC Ren represents both NWA and Mike Tyson on King T's "2 G's From Compton." I think. I don't actually get why Givens would've seen sparks.  I get he means gunfire for Compton, but...eh?  Someone help me out here.

"They momma said,
'Only fuck with niggas that's paid,'
On some Robin Givens shit."

Ho-hum... Bishop Lamont also said the same shit every in rap has else said, on Reality's "Look At California."

"You can take a lot from this mic like you Robin Givens."

Fred the Godson copies Red Hot Lover Tone's punchline mic/Mike pun on "One Time."

"Hey yo, we fuck the mics up like Robin Givens."

And so does DJ Drama's Willie the Kid on "Desire Washington."

"You think you livin',
Tryin' to dress up like Robin Givens."

With Kool Keith, it's hard to tell if he's just being perverse or what here on "Sideline," but I'm pretty sure he's basically just accusing another theoretical girl of adopting the same role everyone else is referring to when they cite Givens.

"The punch line king, on the run from Robin Givens."

No, Lloyd Banks, you can't have the Punchline King title with tired lines like this from "They Love Me In the Hood."

"Getting money like a bitch - um, Robin Givens."

And of course Lil Wayne just had to come back for seconds in order to use it in that shitty, sentence then subject punchline style gimmick that was never cool on the Rich Boys song "Bigger Than Life." Ugh.

There's two aspects of this rubbing me the wrong way here. One is the whole "He Man Woman Haters' Club" feel to all of this. And I'm no Robin Givens supporter - I don't follow all this celebrity gossip junk and I don't think I've ever been particularly impressed by her as an actress. And it's also not like I'm shocked to see a little misogyny expressed in my rap music; I don't even necessarily mind it in most cases (music is art, after all, not an instructional guide). But it's so relentlessly unanimous. How about a little diversity? I mean, do rappers making the reference today even feel like they have a particular insight into the Tyson/ Givens marriage, or a serious opinion on it at all? Or do they just say it because everybody else says it, and tumblr has replaced critical thinking in the 2010s?

Then of course, there's just the plain old, basic "every MC is writing the same damn punchline" issue. Like, how do you feel like you're any kind of pop song writer, let alone a poet contributing to the art form, when you're writing the fifty billionth punchline where the gag is that Robin Givens is a gold digger? Do you really believe your competition is gonna be shook as you're etching that into your book of rhymes? Even if the worst is true about Givens and you loved the line when you heard Kool Moe Dee drop it, this has still turned into a creatively bereft lyrical garbage dump where everyone's biting even the most useless fodder.

For once, I'd like to see an MC take a slightly feminist stance and use Tyson as the negative reference and give respect to Givens for getting out of a frightening, abusive relationship. And before anyone says it, no, I don't know for sure what happened in their marriage behind closed doors, and if Givens' allegations - or Tyson's counter-allegations - are true. But neither do any of the MCs taking Tyson's side, so why not one person show a little guts and suggest the alternative (and seemingly much more likely) scenario?

Or just stop stuffing all their rap verses with vacuous celebrity references in the first place.  Someone could do that, too. But what the hell, at least it was fun brainstorming all these examples. So congratulations if you made it to the end of this monster piece. And god knows how many I missed (please post 'em in the comments!). But before you give up on humanity entirely, let me close out with two nice Robin Givens lines, both from The Wu camp:

"I love my black women, from Erykah Badu to Robin Givens."

- Prodigal Sunn on The Sunz of Man's "For the Lust of Money/ The Grandz."  And:

"It was amazing, I seen Robin Thicke and Robin Leech,
Robin Williams, Robin Givens and Meryl Streep."

- Shawn Wigs describing his ideal of "a real award show," on Ghost Face Killa's "White Linen Affair (Toney Awards)."