Juice Crew All Stars Was My Boys

Here's an interesting one!  It's a "Juice Crew Law" remake by the All Stars, but not the Juice Crew All Stars you'd think.  There's a new Juice Crew in town, yes even newer than Juice Crew 3rd Millennium: a Shanghai-based B-boy crew.  And this is a record by DJ DSK, a British expatriate now based in China who's assembled a pro tem super-group of English Hip-Hop artists collectively known as the All Stars, released as a tribute to the crew.  The All Stars and "Juice Crew Law" are obviously throwback references made to the original crew in fun, but the connection runs deeper than some punny names.

Musically at least, this is indeed a remake of MC Shan's original "Juice Crew Law," with the All Stars rocking Marley's original instrumental.  Well, at least they use it as the base.  DSK mixes in additional musical samples, and the All Stars layer a wealth of turntablism over the top.  Not only are there cuts in the hook like you'd expect, but the segment that would traditionally be the third verse is dedicated to just a killer stuttering slaughter of The Choice MCs' "Beat Of the Street." Yep, the All Stars aren't all MCs.  Specifically, they're MCs Chrome and Whirlwind D (who I think I might've mentioned here once or twice before) and DJ/ producers Specifik and Mr. Wonderful.  I'm not 100% certain, but from what I've been able to glean, I believe DSK produced the track and Specifik and Wonderful do all the scratches. 

This is a pretty fun update on a classic.  You might ask who needs a new "Juice Crew Law" when we have the original, a question that usually brings most remakes to their knees.  Even assuming the remake's good, why listen to it when you can listen to the classic, right?  Well, this one adds a lot, with additional instrumentation flushing it out and the cuts are killer.  Not that the original didn't have any good ones, especially the 12" version.  But there's definitely enough fresh elements in the mix to make you yearn to relisten to the this version specifically.

Plus, let's be honest, Shan wasn't above the occasional corny line ("my rhymes say more than a tasket, a tisket. Too clever, yo, I never go out like a biscuit." "The same theory if the words don't fit; got the nerve to get on stage and wanna sing that ____? Wait a minute, wait just a second. You know that's not my style.  'Sorry, just checking!'").  While rhymes praising break-dancers by their nature don't hit as hard as aggressive battle rhymes directed towards Krs-One, I'm happy to report the verses are 100% free of cringe moments.  And I don't know about you, but while I have been able to overlook some infamous examples in my childhood favorites, that's a pretty crucial standard to meet for my listening enjoyment of any song at any time.

Still, if all of this isn't enough to compel you to seek out a copy for your own yet, let me tell you about the B-side.  DSK has another song for us, "Check Out the Technique" featuring Akil of Jurassic 5 (making this a tri-continental effort) and London MC Mystro (here billed as Mysdiggi).  This has similar themes, but is more of a general tribute to Hip-Hop, rather than any specific crew.  As Akil details, "no matter the element, the culture pushed excellence, dedicated freshness, hard work and messages.  We pushed the limit: go all out to win it.  From start to finish, we get in it, we created our own lane of genre, built it up proper, B-boys and poppers, DJs and lockers, MCs and graf writers, Soulsonic fire fighters; we loved it, we lived it, built it like an empire."  This time I assume the cuts - which tend more towards rhythm scratches and some Premier-like juggling of a line from Jay-Z's "Threat" on the hook - are by DSK himself.  This track's a little slower and funkier; a cool head nodder though lacking the dynamic energy of the A-side. 

"Juice Crew Law" is a 7" record that plays at 33 and comes in a plain black sleeve.  It's released by DNA Records, DSK's own label, not to be confused with the famous NY label.  The A-side also names B-Line Recordings, Specifik's label, so I gather this is a joint release to some degree.  I'm not sure if this is limited to a specific pressing amount (they don't say as much).  It's already sold out from DSK's bandcamp even though it just dropped like two weeks ago, but a lot of the usual online record shops seem to still have it, at least as of this writing.

A Hip-Hop Christmas Bonus

If you truly want to be an expert in Christmas rap - and why the Hell wouldn't you? - then you've got to at least dip your toe into the world of Kevin & Bean.  Who are Kevin and Bean?  Radio show hosts on a station called KROQ; that's pretty much all I know.  I guess they're like a morning "zoo crew" on a rock station or something?  We don't need to care that much.  The relevant part is that every year for decades, they've done Christmas compilation albums involving celebrities (the proceeds for which went to charity), and once in a very rare while, that includes rappers.  Rappers doing exclusive Christmas rap songs for their albums.

Now, half these songs are comedy skits and gags, and rap being a part of their albums actually dates back to their very first, rare vinyl release in 1990.  Specifically, "Rudolph the Red Nose Homeboy" by MC Frosty and Michael the Maintenance Man (the latter apparently being a recurring character on their radio show).  But that's a joke song by a fake rap artist.  There's more of that across these albums, and you probably have to be a fan of the radio show to really care about those.  So I'm just going to focus in on the few releases with actual, legit Hip-Hop artists.

One of the break-out songs from these zany albums came in 1996: "Christmastime In the LBC" by Snoop and Friends.  I'm sure you guys are all familiar with Death Row Records' infamous Christmas album with the pretty great Snoop Doggy Dogg Christmas song, "Santa Claus Goes Straight To the Ghetto."  That was the same year, and a lot of people conflate the two; but this is something completely different.  The idea is that it's a crazy, dark Christmas song by Snoop Dogg and the Death Row guys.  But it's not.  In fact it's Jimmy Kimmel (who was affiliated with KROQ at this point in time) doing an impression of him.  It's pretty funny, actually.  But yeah, it's a fake parody, so why bring it up here?  Because the success of that song got Snoop to hook up with Kevin & Bean for real the next year.  So in 1997, when Kevin & Bean released A Family Christmas In Your Ass, which compiled the best of their previously limited cassette-only albums onto a more mainstream CD, it also included new material like a a brand new, Snoop Christmas rap called "Twas the Night" with Nate Dogg.  It's a song in that it has original music and all, but unfortunately it's more of a spoken word skit, with him reading his own version of the "Night Before Christmas" poem.  But if you've seen it online or anything, yeah, this is where it's from.

Again, there's tons of these albums, and Kevin & Bean aren't rap guys, so there's not much of interest in most of them.  There's big name celebs like Jon Stewart, Kevin Smith and the South Park guys doing skits, and songs by big rock bands like My Chemical Romance and Coldplay, but for Hip-Hop, this really isn't our territory.  There are more joke songs, like Jimmy Kimmel doing an Eminem impression on "Stanley" and a funny fake Shaq song called "Holiday Heat."  And sometimes they'll throw on a previously released rap song, like Outkast's "Player's Ball."

But the next original recording by an actual Hip-Hop group doesn't arrive until 2001's Swallow My Eggnog.  Here, Cypress Hill turn up for "The Night Before Christmas," which yeah, you guessed it, is the same concept as Snoop and Nate's except it's full of marijuana references.  The production's cool, but overall it's pretty lame, full of predictable jokes like "I still got you ho ho hoes."  Of interest if you're a fan of the group, though.

Afroman also does a song on Swallow My Eggnog, and no it's not one from his Jobe Bells Christmas album.  It's an original one called "Afroman's Christmas Joint."  It's pretty short, but he's rapping over a beat with heavy sleigh bells on it.  I don't really rate Afroman, but it's about on par with anything else he's done.

Finally, we come to the most legit and obscure one.  2006's Super Christmas.  It's called "Rockin' You," and it's an all new, original and exclusive song by The Jurassic 5!  It's short, but no it's not a skit; it's a legit full song with some really tight production, cuts and each MC has a verse.  Admittedly, it's all about the radio show, which really limits its outside appeal.  It's like those promo songs that groups like The Bizzie Boyz and MC Mitchski would record for Red Alert or Chuck Chillout, and it's as good as those were, except it's for Kevin & Bean.  Honestly, it's better than some official Jurassic 5 12"s.

So that's it.  If you're the sort of fan who's prepared to pursue Christmas rap to the ends of the Earth, this is a stop you can't miss.  Some of the original cassettes are hard to find, but the CDs with the authentic MCs on 'em are all cheap and easy if you want 'em.  They're good stocking stuffers for the Hip-Hop head who thinks he has everything, the overlooked odds and ends of Christmas rap.