Run DMC's Other Christmas Song

Everybody knows Run DMC's "Christmas In Hollis," even curmudgeonly old Scrooge boomers who can't stand rap.  It used to get heavy, mainstream MTV rotation (i.e. not just on Yo! or their more urban-themed dance shows), and radio play all over the world each holiday season, even those "absolutely no rap" 100-type stations, largely because it was treated like a novelty record.  This wasn't anything too edgy or threatening for the wee ones to hear; this was "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" pt 2.

That's not a knock on the song itself; I still dig it.  It's not the first Hip-Hop Christmas record, but it's the first one most of middle America ever heard, and it's still well produced (that's a killer Clarence Carter sample) and holds up well today.  It's been released and re-released countless times over the years.  It was featured on Profile's classic Christmas Rap album - still the single greatest Hip-Hop Christmas album to this day - and I was once gifted a cute little 45 on clear red vinyl.  The #1 movie of 1988 - Die Hard - opens with it, The Simpsons have played it, it's been used for car commercials and Adidas even made a "Christmas In Hollis" shoe!

But "Christmas In Hollis" wasn't originally recorded for that Profile album or as the major Run DMC single it became.  It was made for, and first released on, a 1987 A&M charity record made to benefit The Special Olympics called A Very Special Christmas.  It was a big deal at the time, and Run DMC were the only Hip-Hop artists on it, which is a big part of why "Christmas In Hollis" spread to the mainstream.  The album featured Christmas songs and covers by artists like Bruce Springsteen, Whitney Houston, Madonna and Bon Jovi, so everybody's parents who bought the album for those guys wound up with a perfectly charming, head-nodding Hip-Hop song as an unexpected little bonus.  Like Run DMC's single, it's been pressed and re-pressed over the years.  It featured artist by the incredibly popular Keith Haring, and really, you younger cats probably don't appreciate just how widespread this album was.  Not only did the music stores bring out the displays every Holiday season, but it had full page ads in non-music magazines, and even places that didn't otherwise sell music, like supermarkets and drug stores, had these at the register.

So of course A&M followed that up with a second album.  And of course they asked Run DMC back.

But Hip-Hop audiences are fickle.  1987 was right at Run DMC's peek, right between Raising Hell and Tougher Than Leather.  "Walk This Way" had already come out and they were already being hailed as not just rap but rock superstars.  By the time of A Very Special Christmas 2, it was 1992, long after Back From Hell, and just before Pete Rock briefly resurrected their careers with "Down With the King" and they traded in their hats and Adidas for hoodies and Timbs, trying to find a new image and blend in with Naughty By Nature era.  So I guess that's why nobody seems to remember their second Christmas rap anthem, "Christmas Is."

The album itself did just fine.  They had another stacked line-up with some new folks and some returning, like Luther Vandross, Cyndi Lauper, Bon Jovi, Boyz II Men and Tom Petty.  Again, Run DMC were the sole token rapper guys.  But they tried; they even shot a video for it, which got a little time.  But stations mostly decided to keep airing "Christmas In Hollis."  It's a solid effort, though.  It's still produced by Larry Smith and JMJ.  It doesn't have the undeniable instant smash hit power of that Carter sample, but it has a respectable, more timely 90's sound with sparse jazz samples and big, but more natural drums.  Their flows are a little more nimble.  They still open with a little Christmas carol jingle and rock the sleigh bells, but it definitely has less of a holiday feel to it, which is part of the problem.  By the time it gets to their "give up the dough!" shout chorus, they've definitely forgone any crossover appeal the first one had.

Listening to it now, it actually sounds more dated than "Hollis," but I still like it.  In fact, it's a plus in my book that it's less kitschy and angrier about socioeconomic inequality.  If only Run DMC had managed to keep up with the times without giving up their identity to chase all the trends, I think this one would at least have lasted longer in the Hip-Hop community (there's no way this was going to be another crossover sensation).  I mean, it is flawed.  Instrumentally, they're leaning heavily into DITC's lane, which sounds good but derivative.  But lyrically, they try so hard to flex faster, more tongue-twisting lyrical skills, they wind up fumbling: "Christmas, this must be that time of year/ Leggo of your Eggo, rather ego, me go there/ And here, my dear, so give a kid a beer/ Cause every time you give it's coming back, let's get it clear."  It's both everything great and everything embarrassing about 90's rap at the same time.

...But is that the end of Run DMC's Very Special Christmases?  No!  The A&M albums kept on truckin', and it would've been a bad look to forgo Run DMC (and with them, all of Hip-Hop).  So even though Run DMC had sort of split up by then (they came together for Crown Royal, but it was rocky), so 1997's A Very Special Christmas 3 featured a Rev Run solo song.  Solo... but with a bunch of guests.  Remember "Santa Baby," with Mase, Snoop Dogg, Pepa, two fifths of Onyx and Keith Murray?  You probably remember that song popping up on the internet back then but maybe didn't realize it was the third chapter in the Very Special Christmas saga.  It's kind of a mess.  The line-up feels pretty arbitrarily slapped together with half the groups appearing incomplete, the singing on the hook is weak and instrumentally, they're just biting a beat from a Fugees record.  But it's still an amusing little treat to have seemingly randomly popped up on the scene.

The fourth Very Special Christmas took a different track in 1999.  It's a live album, featuring a lot of classic covers and renditions of songs from the previous albums.  So you've got a lot of Eric Clapton, Bon Jovi, plus artists like Mary J Blige and Sheryl Crow.  Yes, they got Run DMC back and of course they covered "Christmas In Hollis," not "Christmas Is."  The last song is a cover of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" featuring all the acts that had performed that night, and yes that includes Run DMC.  But it's literally just Run shouting "yeah, who's got the Christmas spirit? Somebody say 'hoooo'!!" at the beginning and "yo, you better be good for goodness sake" at one point mid-song.  Afterwards, they get to shout out Hollis and the Special Olympics, but it's really a number devoted to the singers and they're just on it as a technicality.

2001's A Very Special Christmas 5 is the one where they finally give up on Run DMC entirely.  They bring in another token Hip-Hop artist, and I bet you can guess who.  Yes, Wyclef Jean, who mostly just sings, but he does bust a corny freestyle on a Stevie Wonder song.  It's another live album with regulars like Bon Jovi and Tom Petty returning.  Then by 6 & 7, they finally seem to feel comfortable not having any Hip-Hoppers on there at all, and it's just two more live albums with artists like Reba McEntire, Miley Cyrus and Willie Nelson.  It's nice what they've continued to do for the Special Olympics, but I think most of the world had checked out of this crap by that point.

But yeah, "Christmas Is!"  Awfully dated is what it is; but it's still pretty cool... better than most of their late career stuff, and doesn't deserve to be completely forgotten.  I recommend giving it at least one spin this Holiday Season.

Answer Record Week 3, Day 5: Further Sucker Deliberation

Of course you're familiar with "Sucker MCs," you may even be familiar with "Sucker DJs," but apparently in 1985, someone felt there was still more to be said on the subject. And they don't like Run DMC very much. Youtube version is here.

Ice Cube and Chuck D Go Back To Hell

Run DMC go full new jack swing and Ice Cube and Chuck D show up on the B-side? Why does nobody talk about this wild record?

(Youtube version is here.)

Cold Chillin' Terminators, part 1 - Dissing Run DMC

"We're walking tall and we're called The Terminators" is a memorable line from Kool G Rap & DJ Polo's classic "It's a Demo" in part because of G Rap's ill delivery, but also partially because, as far as anybody knew, they weren't called The Terminators. I mean, you could probably take it as simply a general reference to being so bad ass that people consider them to be like Schwarzenegger's robotic hitman character from the 1984 film. And the fact that the line could be taken that way is probably by G Rap left the line in there, sort of like a subliminal diss, but not a diss. Because the line is actually a reference to something more. It's about DJ Polo's first group, The Terminators.

The Terminators had one record, "Forever Dis" in 1986 on Snowflake Records. My copy here is a 2004 repress. You can tell 'em apart 'cause on the original label the big "Snowflake" is written in blue, not white. Anyway, Snowflake Records was a division of Prism, which of course carried all the early Juice Crew records and changed its name to Cold Chillin' Records a couple years later.

The group was really just a duo, like Kool G Rap and DJ Polo, except the MC was Polo's old partner, Frost. I got to ask G Rap how Polo made the switch and why he cited their name on "It's a Demo" in my 2011 interview, "Polo and Frost started together first. They were the team first, before I even got in the picture with Polo. Once I got in the picture, to my understanding, Frost was having differences with Polo. Because Polo wanted to do promotional stuff that Frost didn’t necessarily want to do… things they weren’t getting paid for. So when me and Polo linked up, I was for anything to accomplish my dream. Whether it was something we gotta do for promotion, get ourselves out there or get paid, it didn’t matter to me. I was gonna do it because I was hungry and I wanted it that bad, because I knew what I was capable of doing poetically. When I mention Terminators, it was out of respect for the name Polo had before I even got into the picture. If you notice, I didn’t really use that name anymore other than just using it as a punch line or a metaphor. But I did not affiliate myself and Polo as the Terminators after that. The first time I did it was just out of respect, like, this is your thing you got going before I even got into the picture, I’ma wave that flag."

So how is the actual record? I mean, you could probably predict that Frost isn't the amazing innovator that G Rap turned out to me - almost nobody could be expected to play on that level. But how does it compare to most other '86 rap records, and who are they dissing on "Forever Dis?"

Well, you already know from the title of this blog that they went after Run DMC. Nothing subliminal here, it's a very straight forward attack. It's not clear what their beef with them comes from - quite possibly they just went at them to make a name for themselves - but it's perfectly evident Frost doesn't like 'em:

"You may think I'm cruel, but that's okay;
I've got a job to do, so let me earn my pay.
Run DMC, somebody really don't like
The way you MCs be yellin' on the mic.
...
Both of you are crazy, you've flown the coup.
Wearin' all this sayin' that you're souped.
Now that I say it, it wasn't real groovy
When I saw your face when I went to the movies!
You think you've got something to prove?
The name of the movie was Krush Groove."

The entire song from first to last is very specifically going at Run DMC.  But you might've gotten the feeling, reading the above sample, that the rhymes are a little stilted. They are, and Frost's deliberate, plodding delivery doesn't help. The beat is okay, it's pretty hard and stripped down, but it's a bad match for Frost's style, and Polo doesn't really do much. There isn't really any actual scratching, they've just got "Pee Wee's Dance" vocal sample, "get busy" on a sampler and play it at different pitches. You know, like "(Nothing Serious) Just Buggin'" and all those 80s songs.

Overall, the song's okay. The beat's too simple, but at least it's hard. It's really just the fact that they're dissing Run DMC that anybody would go back and revisit it.

There is a B-side, though, which is a little more lively. Simply titled "Polo," this one actually features some scratching. It's a little rudimentary, but of course it's from '86. They also stutter a sample like on the last song, this time just Frost saying "Polo." It's a similar, hardcore big drum machine beat with horn stabs, and Frost raps about how great his DJ is. Well, except for the last verse, where he digresses to tell us how stylish his girlfriend is, "she'll put you in a trance, make you do a stupid dance. Make you act like a fool, make you wanna go to school seven days a week, ooh the girl is so sweet." The song concludes with somebody doing a cheesy Mexican accent playing the part of Jose, a promoter looking for the great DJ Polo.

Neither song is that great, but they're listenable enough. Both instrumentals are also included on the vinyl, though I doubt many heads would be picking up the wax for those. Their historic value is certainly the most compelling aspect of these songs, and in that regard, they certainly satisfy a lot of curiosity.  Come back tomorrow for another nearly forgotten Cold Chillin' Terminator.

Down With the Ruff King

(Youtube version is here.)

Answer Record Week Day 3: Kid 'N Play vs Run DMC

(Youtube version is here.)

The Real Sun City Show Is On the Second Stage

Remember "Sun City?"  Okay... well, remember "We Are the World?"  "Sun City" was one of those records that came on the heels of "We Are the World," with major artists of all musical genres coming together to make a joint record for a good cause.  In the case of "Sun City," it was about ending apartheid.  There were lots of big names, including Bob Dylan, Pat Benatar, Miles Davis, Lou Reed, Herbie Hancock, Hall & Oates, George Clinton, Bonnie Raitt, etc etc. But what made "Sun City" of a lot more interest to us here at Werner's is that it featured rappers!  Melle Mel, Run DMC, Kurtis Blow, Afrika Bambaataa and DJ Cheese providing some cuts - now we're talking! And it's a lot more hip-hop with big 80's beats and producers like Keith LeBlanc.

But, still... how good is a song that features Kurtis Blow and Bonnie Raitt on the same track really going to be?  As you can imagine, the rappers had their parts, essentially drifting in a sea of sappy pop music. So, you know, it's interesting, but we heads will really want to stick with "Self Destruction" and "Close the Crack House" to get our enormously collaborative, charitable kicks.

But "Sun City" wasn't just a single - even though that's all anybody remembers - it was a whole album.  And while most of it is more of the same except a lot more underwhelming, there was a highlight. In a show of "we're just beginning to wrap our heads around the concept of political correctness in 1985," the producers of the Sun City album decided to take all of the black artists, and give them a solo song of their own. They didn't separate them by genre - the jazz, the rap, the reggae, is still all mushed together... but it's a lot more cohesive and less blandly poppy than the title track.  Finally, we didn't have Kurtis passing the mic to Bonnie.

Despite being multi-genre'd, this isn't just more cohesive, but more hip-hop.  Each MC gets a lot more time to flesh out verses, as opposed to quickly saying a short soundbite in unison with another rapper, so you can't even make out their individual voices and then clearing the stage, and this time around we get extra rappers.  Scorpio is here and holy shit, it's The Fat Boys! ...Actually, if you listen to "Sun City" real close[what? so I have a little extra free time] you can hear a super brief sound clearly made by The Fat Boys right before Run DMC's second appearance.  I'd bet you dollars to doughnuts that The Fat Boys were originally a part of this song and then cut out, perhaps because they were considered too much of a silly novelty act for the song?  Or because their manager wanted too much money?  Anyway, they're here on "Let Me See Your I.D."  Unlike this "Sun City," which I'd only recommend to completists who have to have everything guys like Melle Mel laid their voices to, this song's actually worth your time.

Still... it's not perfect. Mostly because Gil Scott Heron has about half the vocal time on this song. Pretty much between every rap verse he comes on and does a spoken word bit... not even really spoken word like Saul Williams, but like, just self-indulgent structureless rambling. It's boring, sucks the life out of the song, and it even gets kind of insipid, "you ask somebody, 'where is the third world,' they go, 'oh yeah yeah, I know! it's a disco, Go up about three blocks and take a left.' Or they might tell you the third world is a new health food restaurant. I know the first time I heard somebody talkin' about there was trouble in the middle east, i thought they were talkin' about Pittsburgh."  And that's it, then the hook comes in. But, still, here we a big, full verse by Mel, DJ Cheese providing cuts while Buff Love does a big human beatbox solo and Miles Davis blows his trumpet, Duke Bootee flexes a nice post-"Message" rhyme, Kurtis Blow, well... he was kinda off in his own world in 1985, it's pretty corny... but still, it's mostly good stuff.

Still, wouldn't it be great if there was a version that stripped away Heron's B.S.?  And, okay, now you might be thinking, "Slow your roll, dude. You're talking about Gil Scott Heron like he's Marky Mark or something."  I know, I know.  I'm not disparaging his legacy and classics like "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" or "Winter In America." Granted, as a purely hip-hop head, I spin Kane and Rakim instead of Heron for my musical enjoyment; but when I listen to "Revolution," I feel it, I get it.  It's really fucking good. But his contribution here is nowhere on that level. Here he's jamming up the song like rush hour traffic.

But hey! There's actually a 12" that solves everything! Yes, "Let Me See Your I.D." was also released as a single. The A-side is just the album version, and there's also a Beat and Scratch mix on the flip. But the important part here is the Street Mix. Instrumentally, it's a bit more stripped down, which is mostly an improvement, though I do wind up missing a few nice instrumental bits from the original (Miles!). But the important thing is that they take out all the talky filler and give you just a flat out, 100% rap song. See, the important thing is now we finally have a song we can listen to in regular rotation. It's no longer a case of "well, if you sift through all the other stuff, there are some nice hip-hop nuggets that can be unearthed." This is a really good fucking hip-hop record!  This changes it from something interesting for historians to a dope song for any fan of old school rap.

Seriously, if you like stuff from 1985, get this 12"; you'll definitely be happy. And it even comes in a picture cover because it had a budget.  :)

Black History

For Black History Month, I thought I'd look at a cool piece of black history called "Black History" about... Black History Month. Back in the 80's, Johnson & Johnson gave away a free cassette single with jeri curl kits. It was an exclusive song by Run DMC called "Black History" b/w "Famous Firsts" by Kurtis Blow. Until recently, it had only existed on that ultra-rare cassette, but around the end of 2009 or so, it was pressed onto this nice piece of vinyl. Now, clearly, it's a bootleg. There's no way Profile (Or Johnson & Johnson) issued this. But since I also can't see them ever digging this out of their vaults and giving it a proper, official 12", it's hard not to recommend this.

"Black History" is an epic (over 10 minutes long) ode to black history.They kick literally dozens of short verses about important black historical figures. It's really rudimentary old school stuff, with beat-box beats, handclaps, and a simplistic but funky bassline. Run and DMC have constant interplay throughout their verses, essentially each MC taking every other line, with the key, dramatic lines shouted in unison. It injects a lot of energy that keeps things from getting dull or plodding. The lyrics are pretty simple, but this predates anything like "You Must Learn" by years and you there aren't many rap records by legit artists that are as flat-out educational as this one:

"There was another great man from ancient Africa."
"Earned his name as a warrior."
"Great military strategy was the key"
"To this army commander's victory."
"Hannibal of Carthage led the way."
"Hannibal of Carthage was his name!"
"Yeah, Hannibal of Carthage was his name."

"In a hot July evening of 1893,"
"A black doctor performed historic surgery."
"The person had a knife-wound in his heart;"
"And the doctor knew it was a shot in the dark."
"But he went ahead and opened his chest;"
"And the operation WAS A BIG SUCCESS!"
"Dr. Daniel Hale Williams was his name;"
"And open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."
"You say open-heart surgery was his claim to fame?"
"Yeah, open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."

...That's pretty much how they all go, with the name finally revealed at the end of each verse. To spice things up, they keep going back to a lively hook ("Black! Black! Black! Black history!") and they have some other random voices appear throughout... sometimes girls pop in to sing a bit and sometimes somebody does a silly impression of a voice referred to in a verse. There's even a human beatbox breakdown about midway through the record. Finally, it ends with them kicking a rap about the importance of knowing your roots, and somebody plays some funky, spacey keyboards.

But the B-side to this 12" isn't "Famous Firsts." Instead it's another Run DMC rarity seeing its first time on vinyl, "Slow and Low." As you'll recall, "Slow and Low" was an early hit record by The Beastie Boys in 1985, but it was originally recorded, though never released, by Run DMC. They wound up giving it to The Beasties, and the original version was shelved. The Run DMC version uses the same beat, rhymes (except for a few lines where they mention themselves) and hook, though it's a little slower and Run DMC's delivery is naturally not quite as frantic. Now, this 12" isn't the first time it's been heard; it saw an official release (finally) in a five-disc Run DMC compilation album called Original Album Classics. But it's never been available on vinyl before this 12".

Finally, there's an uncredited third bonus track. It's a short mega-mix of Run DMC songs, and a nice scratch tribute to Jam Master Jay. Unlike the other two songs, this is new (though, of course, mixing old records), made by the DJ who pressed this 12".

So, yeah those are the songs, but you all want to know how the sound quality is, right? Well, thankfully, it's pretty good. Obviously "Black History" has been taken from the cassette and not the original masters, but some effort seems to have been put into making this sound as clean as possible, and the pressing is solid and can handle substantial volume. The B-side sounds even slightly better, as it was surely taken from a CD source. So short of Rick Rubin pulling some reels out of his closet and pressing up a top-notch official pressing (don't hold your breath), this is as good as you're gonna get, and it's really pretty good.

The presentation is nice, too. It comes in a sticker cover and is pressed on clear vinyl. The label itself is blank, except for a handwritten number, as this is a limited, numbered run of 200 copies (mine's #117). I mean, I don't know how much value collectors put in a numbered, limited edition of a bootleg; but still, it's kinda cool. Short of, you know, actually paying the artists and licensing the music legally, the label that pressed this up* did it just the way you'd hope they would, a quality preservation of an important piece of hip-hop - and black - history.


*Jamille Records, a label that's gone on to specialize in rare and unreleased old school rap from Milwaukee. You can expect a post on them in the coming weeks. 8)

Missin JMJ

Everyone knows that Rev Run kept up a healthy solo output post-Run DMC, but DMC's 2006 solo CD, Checks, Thugs and Rock N Roll, seems to've rolled in well below most fans' radar. And that's just as well, considering what a mess of generic rock, country and R&Bish production mish-mosh this is. Lots of boring studio instrumentation and ill-advised guest spots by artists like Kid Rock, Sarah Mclachlan, Aerosmith (but not the lead singer), The Cars, Buck Cherry and other pop and rock bands I know nothing about. There was a single ("Freaky Chick") and everything, all of which can be yours for the price of a penny on Amazon.

So maybe you never heard of any of that, or maybe you did and just pushed it out of your mind like me, but you might be a little more encouraged to hear that the Japanese disc featured a new, decidedly better song, as a bonus track. And better still, that bonus track received a small run on vinyl as a promo-only 12".

Now, don't get me wrong. When I say "decidedly better," you still have to be feeling pretty sappy and forgiving if you're gonna give this a spin. But if you are, then you'll find a pretty respectable - even touching - dedication to Jam Master Jay called "Missin My Friend." DMC, who's at the verge of losing his voice around this time, doesn't sound like we knew him back in the day, but his sounding softer and muted works much better on this dedication track than it does on the rest of his album. The production (uncredited) is on the light, R&Bish side, but not bad for what it is, and it features a well sung hook, which is also uncredited. According to an interview in The Source, this is the first song DMC wrote without writing any lyrics down, which is interesting, since his lyrics are much better here than on the rest of his album, where they often sound simplistic and kinda dopey. Here he's sincere, authentic and really kind of touching:

"I seen you on the bus playin' video games;
You beat all of us, I ain't sayin' no names.
You was a real cool cat; you never caused trouble;
You would relax your mind doin' a crossword puzzle.
You and Run would argue: who's better in ball?
And I would sit back and just laugh at y'all.
I miss ya, Jay, I ain't gonna front,
I'd give anything to see you smoke one more blunt.
So when asked who's best, we all will say:
Jason Mizell, Jam Master Jay.
When asked who's best, we all will say:
Jason Mizell, Jam Master Jay!"

The label to this 12" gives us practically no info (just a defunct url), but playing through the record tells us the track-listing is as follows: A1) Clean Version A2) Instrumental B1) Dirty Version B2) Acapella. There's not much distinction between the clean and dirty versions since, as you'd imagine, there's not much cursing on here, but there is a single usage of the word "nigga" silenced out.

So, while steering as far clear of the album as possible, you still might want to add this 12" to your crates. Even if you're realistically not gonna break it out and spin it too often, it's just nice to have it in there as a tribute to the great Jam Master Jay.

Legends of Hip Hop

"LEGENDS OF HIP HOP describes a project that includes more than 35 hiphop legends from the first hour veterans to the recent stars. It includes names like Bambaataa, Melle Mel, Grandmaster Flash, Kurtis Blow, Ice-T... just to mention a few. The album was based on an idea to connect rap and hiphop greats from both the old and new skool[sic.] scene into one big project. The highlight of the album is the track 'The Fifth Element' which is performmed[sic.] by 34 hiphop legends."

That's the introduction to an album that I can't believe has somehow managed to be pretty much never written about. Legends of Hip Hop came out in 2002 on Absolut Records. Yes, like the vodka. A full-length album that features all original (well, almost... more on that later) material by such great big names in hip-hop that somehow managed to fly completely under the radar? How? Why?

Well, the album was put together by Kurtis Blow, in association with his Legends of Hip Hip old school tours. Blow co-produced all the music on this album with two guys named Informer and DJ Buck. They utilize a lot of live instrumentation, too... the liner notes credit musicians for guitars, trumpets, sax, a couple of violins and a viola. So, how is it? What exactly do we have here?

Ok, let's start with the "highlight of the album" (according to the liner notes quoted above... I actually disagree), the mega-posse cut "The Fifth Element." 34 hip-hop legends. That's pretty impressive, right? And the actual list will probably impress you more: Melle Mel, Ice-T, Flava Flav, Cheeks, Special K, Bambaataa, Run, Smooth Approach, Sha-Rock, Doc Ice, Busy Bee, Whodini, Raheem, Reggie Reg, Grandmaster Caz, DLB, LA Sunshine, Grand Puba, Pete DJ Jones, Kurtis Blow, Hollywood, Eddie Cheeba, Big Daddy Kane, Dano, Ceelo (as in Goodie Mob, yeah), Waterbed Kev, Speech, Kidd Creole, Grand Wizard Theodore, Dota Rock, Rakim & DJ Kool Herc. That's not a bunch of nobodies peppered with a few names, that's an incredible assembly of an all-star line-up!

...But, wait. The song's only four minutes long. And it's got a recurring hook, which takes up almost 50% of the song. And, half those guys are DJs, how do they rap on this track?

Well, if you guessed that everybody is given about 6-8 words to perform, you'd be right! But you didn't guess that, did you? Because that would be so ridiculously wack, you ruled it out before the thought could even fully form in your mind, right? But it's what they did. Excited to hear a Rakim feature you never heard before? Wanna read the lyrics? Well, here ya go:

"Ya owe it to yourself; get your education."

...That was it. That was the entirety of his contribution. And his was longer than a lot of the others!

So, yeah. They call it the "highlight of the album." They even include two mixes on here, the original and "Beathoavenz RMX," which liberally samples some Beethoven. I call it a big, fat "who cares?"

But the rest of the album is much more interesting. Most (plus a few other dudes) of the artists featured on that silly posse cut turn up again on this album to perform all new songs. Most are collaborations you've never seen happen before and are pretty interesting. Raheem, Grandmaster Caz and Shinehead provide a song called "Be 4," Ice-T, Chilli Mac and Rakim perform "Game of Life," Reggie Reg, Skeeta Ranks, Jalil, Ecstasy and Doc Ice do "Shake Them Hips," etc. Here we actually get to hear these artists get a chance to do something!

Just for the record, the other artists who turn up on this album are: Thug Nation, Kurupt, Harry Balz (don't know who that is? He's the other half of One and One, who we last heard from on Next Plateau Records in 1997!), The Ying Yang Twins, Steph Lova, T.O.P., GQ, and Lovebug Starski.

So, how are these songs? Well, they're varied... there's some nice lyrical performances, a variety of concepts and a good mix of styles. The production team of Blow, Informer and Buck I'm sure doesn't have you at the edge of your seat, but they're at least attempting something creatively different that's still got a traditional hip-hop vibe. It's not a great album, but guys like Ice-T, Melle, Sha-Rock, Kane, and others do drop some head-nodding verses. Flava Flav provides an amusingly bugged hook to "Old School Ball," with a faux British accent. The live instrumentation helps keep things interesting and some songs have nice cuts, too. It's a mixed bag, certainly; but a lot of this is really better than you jaded vets would expect.

To add to that mixed bag feeling, though, we have to address why Eminem and Royce da 5'9's names are on the cover. Well, "Nuttin To Do" by Bad Meets Evil is on here. Yes, the song from their '98 12" in Game Recordings. Why? I dunno. More interestingly, though, is "Bad Meets Evil - New Shrooms Mix." Yeah, Blow and team actually do their own, exclusive remix of the song from the Slim Shady LP. It's, uh... yeah, it's pretty corny.

But except for those two tracks and one other - this album also features Justine Simmons' dance tune "Praise My DJ's" featuring Run that originally dropped in 2000 - this is all new, original material, reminiscent of the noteworthy Raiders Of the Lost Art compilation released in 1994.

Now, in addition to this album, there are three related releases you should probably know about:

1) A 12" release of "The Fifth Element," which includes the original version and the Beathoavenz Remix version that's featured on this disc, as well as four more remixes (specifically: Sleepwalker Remix, Efe & Leeroy Remix, Nasty Remix and the Double Remix). Interesting, but I never picked this up, because frankly changing the beat wouldn't fix what's wrong with this song.

2) Another, completely unrelated hip-hop compilation called Legends of Hip Hop, which is just a generic collection of songs by 2 Live Crew, Ice-T and The World Class Wreckin' Crew on a label called Blue Dolphin. They're entirely unrelated save for the coincidentally matching title, so you can go ahead and disregard it... just be careful if you're ordering online that you know which one you're getting.

3) A 2-disc version that was released in Europe. Disc 1 is essentially the same as the US version, except it's missing the Bad Meets Evil remix, and instead features the Sleepwalker Remix of "Fifth Element" (from the 12" above). The second disc is then just another generic compilation of pre-existing hip-hop songs, this time basically a greatest hits of rap, featuring stuff like "Express Yourself" by NWA and "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. Personally, I'd stick with the single-disc US version, since it has the exclusive Bad Meets Evil remix, and if you really want the "Fifth Element," remix you could get the 12".

So, yeah. It's not a great album, but it has some worthwhile material. And with all the talent involved, it deserves at least to be talked about.