Kool Moe Dee's Worst Hits?

I've been itching to revisit these tracks for a while.  See, at the end of his bounteous run with Jive Records, Kool Moe Dee sealed his contract with a Greatest Hits album.  It'll go down in history for including his famous and powerful posse cut, "Rise & Shine," with Krs-One and Chuck D, in the track-listing, but the song isn't actually on the album.  One of the great rip-offs of the ages.  The only reason I'm over it now is because I had the original Funke Funke Wisdom album already.  In fact, I had all his albums already.  Really, the only reason to cop this album for us dedicated fans was that he slipped a few new, exclusive songs in between the classics.  Four, to be precise.  And buying a whole album for four songs is already less than ideal, but it was made so much worse when it turned out they sucked.

At least that's how I remember them, and how they've been pretty much written up in history.  But the last time I listened to these songs was the very same year I checked them out and filed them away in disappointment: 1993.  A big part of the problem is that this is the first project Moe Dee made since his Treacherous Three days without Teddy Riley.  But, still, Kool Moe Dee is one of the great all-time legends, and it's been 28 years.  Maybe if I go back with slightly less exacting standards, I'd find some pretty decent material I'd written off just because it wasn't on the exact same level as his all-time greatest hits they were sandwiched with.

So new track #1 is "Whosgotdaflava."  Even that title is a red flag.  It's absolutely of its time and feels like something a couple of cornball studio executives would decide rappers liked to say.  And the same could be said of the whole song.  It just feels like this is the year Kool Moe Dee lost touch with the movement, turned his baseball cap backwards and asked, "how do you do, fellow kids?"  But then again, if we're casting blame, producers Hula & K. Fingers have to raise their hands.  These guys rode the line between R&B and Hip-Hop, giving things a pop jingle kind of sound.  You might know them best for doing the last two Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince albums or Gerardo's second album (that's right, he made more than one).  They did a lot with Mr. Lee and R&B groups, and really it's not so much that they were untalented; just the worst possible fit for Kool Moe Dee post "Death Blow" and "Rise & Shine."  You might as well have asked Young MC to write Bushwick Bill's solo album.

Not that it's super soft.  In fact, there turns out to be a little truth in the idea that there might be something worth revisiting here.  It starts off with some nice cuts and thunderous samples.  No DJ is credited - did Hula or K do 'em themselves?  Okay, I'm impressed.  But then it starts to get cornier.  The "four or five guys shouting in a studio" for the hook and back-up ad-libs sounds super dated now, and even in 1993, just didn't fit with Kool Moe Dee.  Again, this feels like Dee trying to play catch up with the trends instead of just being the microphone master he naturally is.  But he does have a fast, syllable-packed flow.  He can still kick it like a pro.  He doesn't have anything to say beyond, "let's make the party bounce," and the instrumental never really grabs you after those initial fifteen seconds, but it's respectable album filler.

Track #2 is "Can U Feel It," again by Hula & K.  And this is the one where they really indulge their sappy R&B predilections.  It has a bunch of soft studio instruments instead of samples, including a fake G-funk slide whistle kinda thing.  And it has a sung, poppy chorus of both women and men asking if we can feel it.  But it has a smooth bassline, and Dee seems eager to show he can ride a different kind of rhythm than he ever had before.  And he does have a funky, catchy flow where he waxes nostalgic about his early days with a vibe that's probably trying to replicate their only successful Fresh Prince collaboration: "Summertime."  So, on one hand, I can understand why they chose this to be the single.  Yes, they pressed one of these Greatest Hits exclusives up as a 12".  It has an exclusive remix that's veritably identical to the album version.  It's well done, but just such bad taste.  Some Jive exec thought this and "Boom! Shake the Room" were going to fly in the year of 36 Chambers?

Track #3 is "Gimme My Props" and now KMD is producing his own stuff, though he has two credited "Co-Producers," (Keith Spencer and Dale Hogan), so who knows exactly who did what?  It's got some tight drums and a cool bassline, but boy, all that shouting "ho" in the studio stuff grates.  Dee sounds great here, though.  He's coming hard and aggressive, like another "Death Blow," but swift and with a clever rhyme scheme.  But the Joe Tex "give it here, don't say nothin'" hook feels like it's been cut and pasted from another song.  And if he's going so hard, you kinda wish he'd just take it there and make it a proper LL diss.  But nah.  It makes me think these are left-overs from his previous album rather than new material recorded for this compilation.  I could see this song almost making Funke Funke Wisdom but getting cut to make room for something tighter.  These verses he's rocking are at least worth preserving, though.  I'm glad this track was saved.  Cut the studio posse buddies and replace them with some nice DJ cuts and you'd have a killer, top shelf Moe Dee track you'd want to own on 12".

Finally track #4 is "Look At Me Now," another ostensibly self-produced vehicle, but with Keith and Dale in tow again.  Vocally, this sounds like an older Moe Dee style, and I swear he's rapped over these same drums on a couple other records.  The hook is a variation of "How Ya Like Me Now," and it's got a cool sample to it, but this is no "How Ya Like Me Now."  The "fellas say 'ho,'" stuff feels out of step again.  In the second verse, he starts flipping different styles and damn if he doesn't get your head nodding.  But like the other tracks here, it never fully congeals into a proper song.

A strong producer could've pushed this material across the finish line and left us with some solid Kool Moe Dee bangers as he strutted away from Jive.  Just listen to "Good Times" he made the same year for the Zebrahead soundtrack with LG Experience.  But instead these feel like failed experiments left wriggling on the laboratory floor.  As a fan who grew up with Kool Moe Dee, I'm glad now that they were released so that we can sample them, if only as curiosities.  There's promise in each of them.  But they're still as unfulfilled as I remembered them.

Kool Moe Dee vs. The Sugarhill Gang

(Who wore it better?  Kool Moe Dee or The Sugarhill Gang?  You Decide!  Youtube version is here.)

The Most Obscure Kool Moe Dee Song?

Like the title says, today I'm going to talk about what I believe to be the most obscure Kool Moe Dee song. Now, this isn't his rarest song; it's actually very easy to find nice and cheap, since it was very widely distributed by a major label. But it's still probably the least known or talked about by hip-hop heads. And it's surprising because it's from 1988, exactly when he was in his prime as a solo artist and each record he was releasing was bigger than the last. The song's called "Get Up 'N' Dance" from the Scrooged soundtrack on A&M Records.

Scrooged was a late 80s Christmas Carol update with Bill Murray and Bobcat Goldthwait. So, no, it's not a particularly Hip-Hop soundtrack, and in fact Kool Moe Dee is the only rapper on here. The rest of the record is "Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire" by Natalie Cole, a Buster Poindexter song (of course, it was the 80s), a duet between Annie Lennox and Al Green, and a "We Three Kings" song putting Miles Davis together with Late Night With David Letterman's Paul Shaffer. So, after that run down, I trust your expectations are appropriately tapered. Still, though, this is Kool Moe Dee in his prime, and once you've gotten all of his albums, where else are you going to replenish your supply?

So naturally, the question is: is it any good. And the answer is, um, yeah. No, it isn't produced by Teddy Riley, but it is produced by LaVaba, who did pretty much all the songs on Moe Dee's albums from that period that Teddy didn't. And that includes some big ones like "Let's Go," "Get the Picture"... actually, it could very well include all his biggest hits, since his first couple albums just say they're co-produced by Riley and LaVaba, without breaking down who did what on which songs. He has at least co-production credit on singles like "How Ya Like Me Now," "Wild Wild West," "Go See the Doctor," etc. So, seeing that a Kool Moe Dee song you've never heard has been produced by LaVaba is not a bad sign.

But the song's title is a bit of a giveaway that this might not be more of a throw away than a masterpiece, not to mention a betrayal of the sentiments he expressed on "Don't Dance" the year before. But the basics of what you want from Moe Dee are here: he raps fast and forcefully over a tough beat. These aren't his greatest bars, but they're strong enough. Really, the only weak spot is that they keep laying a 50s beach rock guitar sample over the track. You know, the kind of thing Mr. Mixx was famous for bringing into hip-hop. And Mixx made it work, it sounded fresh. But one thing you don't want your hardcore New York rap legend's records to be is "inspired by the 2 Live Crew."

Honestly, the rest of the track is pretty dope. There's a little bit of the "How Ya Like Me Now" horn stabs, nice scratches, and big drums that double as their own bassline. There's some Egyptian Lover-style heavy breathing looped into the music, but it's low enough in the mix that you hardly hear it. It could use a better hook, which is basically a couple lame vocal samples, which I guess are Scrooged specific references? Like, the main one is some bored sounding white guy saying, "what a lame party, let's get outta here." That could definitely be improved upon, but they don't ruin the record. Moe Dee and whoever's doing the cuts (Easy Lee?) save it. But I'd really like to hear this record without that guitar sample. They wouldn't even have to replace it with anything else; the track is enough without it. Just delete that stupid beach guitar and it'd be good. But, stuck with it as we are... it's still okay. But just okay. Even the guitar doesn't sound terrible; it just makes the whole thing sound like a cornier attempt at crossing over to a less hip-hop audience, which is probably exactly what it was.

Oh, and this song has nothing to do with Christmas. I don't know if that's a pro or a con, but it's not. He's just rapping about how you should dance to the music and the feelings people experience while dancing. His flow's on point, but the lyrics are light on actual content.

So it's no lost masterpiece, but if you're wondering next Christmas what to get the Kool Moe Dee fan who has everything?  This could do the trick. It'll still make a big Kool Moe Dee fan happy, so long as he knows not to expect an unheard classic. And you won't need to say anything because the big, goofy album cover will tell him that. Or I don't know, maybe as the 80s get further and further away I just get more desperate. haha

Awesome Dre Takes Down LL Cool J and Kool Moe She

(Youtube version is here.)

The Boogie Boys Vs. Kool Moe Dee

I'm surprised more people don't know about this one, though I guess the reason why is kinda obvious: it's a 12" exclusive B-side to a song that didn't catch on. But it's cool, and really ought to be better appreciated.

Ya see, back in 1987, Kool Moe Dee issued the now infamous "Report Card" - where we he graded the twenty or thirty-odd top rappers of the day, giving them scores in various categories like vocabulary, voice, creativity, etc. (click right to enlarge-->) - with copies of his latest album, How Ya Like Me Now. I actually didn't see it until years later, because the report card wasn't included with the cassette version. :( The lowest scoring group was (unsurprisingly) The Beastie Boys, earning a C (70). The second lowest was The Boogie Boys (77, C+).

True story: I have a friend who, when she got a C in grad school class, went to her lawyer, threatened the teacher and school with legal action, and got her grade improved to an A. How fucking Ferris Bueller awesome is that?

Well, in that same spirit, I guess The Boogie Boys decided not to take heir C lying down, and issued a diss record towards Kool Moe Dee. "Body" b/w "K.M.D.[as in Kool Moe Dee, see?] Step Off" dropped on Capitol Records in 1988.

In an interview I did with Romeo JD, he described working on the third album, "You know, I'm not really criticizing the producer to a degree, because he was just trying to be on the next level. Sometimes you've gotta do that; it's a risk you take. But at that time, we were like the only group that was on a major, major label, and we had to do something to try and separate ourselves. But you have to be careful, taking yourself so far that you take yourself out of your element. That's why on the Romeo Knight album we tried to make sure we reached back and had a couple of joints that were just real basic and raw. We had a song called "This Is Us," that was my favorite joint on that album. It had just this beat, you know? Another joint Boogie wrote was "Pitbull," and that's the kinda joint we really wanted to make sure we had on that album. And then we had a couple joints that were a little more musical or whatever, because some people expected that from us." Well, "Body" would surely fall under that latter category.

Actually, like all of The Boogie Boys' production, it's got a pretty cool, unique sound. It's got a hard, fresh beat and some interesting samples and a few cool scratches. The only real corniness comes from the songwriting's basic concept, an ode to the human body. The lyrics have a distinct "this was written for children" vibe that comes up in a number of Boogie Boys songs. But if you can get past how silly it is (and nobody's around to overhear the silly songs you're listening to), it's a pretty solid song, worth checking out.

But if "Body" is an example of the Boys' crossover capitulation to their mainstream audiences, then "K.M.D. Step Off" is one of their most successful cases of keeping it real and raw.

Now, this is kinda interesting. First of all, "K.M.D. Step Off" isn't on the album, it's an exclusive B-side. And if you actually read the label (which is no easy feat considering the shiny silver lettering they printed over the bright yellow background!), it's the "12" Remix" version. But there was no other version released before or since, so this "remix" is actually the only version ever (except for some lost original version probably locked away in Capitol's vaults somewhere).

This version doesn't feel much like a remix, anyway. It's one hardcore, kinda West coast sounding (like something early NWA or CMW would use) breakbeat, with scratches by both DJ Shock and Romeo JD. At first the lyrics are standard battle rhymes (although the opening, "From the South/ To the West/ To the East/ To the North/ K.M.D./ Step Off, step off!" is clearly a reference to The Treacherous Three's "New Rap Language"). But about halfway through, Boogie Knight calls out Moe Dee specifically, and the rest of the song is about him (and they call him "homepiss" a lot):

"K.M.D.,
I'm screamin' on you.
My name is Boogie Knight
From the Boogie Boys crew.
Homepiss, you're dope,
I must admit;
But your judgement on the Boys
Are illegit.
On your report card,
We got a low score;
But you're on your own tip.
You got us all wrong.
Got the nerve
To say you're more versatile,
When we rap AND sing;
You must be wild!
Nigga, please,
To you no credit is due.
The rap world
Doesn't revolve around you.
Our records are better
Than the ones ya made,
Even though
We didn't get... stupid paid!
Survival of the Freshest
(in old school, harmonizing style) Was a masterpiece
In versatility...
And creativity...
And most of all,
In originality.
(back to straight raps) Check out the rap called
'Colorblind World;'
The words and rhymes
Made a scholar's head twirl.
K.M.D.,
For your own concern,
Take notes, homepiss,
Look, listen and learn!
I know you, I see you,
I can't believe
You got beside yourself
Like that - nigga, please!
Just got on the chart
And you're talkin';
We had an album and a single
That went top ten.
Next time you're judgin',
Better look real deep;
Compared to whatever we do,
(Say what?) You're weak!"

One really cool part of the song is how they vary their styles, at one point declaring "now we're gonna do just what you do, but do it much better than you" and diss him in the "New Rap Language"-style delivery. It sounds really fresh!

So, it's a fun piece of old school rap history... even "Body" isn't so bad. And it's a cool little sticker cover 12" with dub versions of both tracks, and it can be scored super cheap. Even if you passed on Romeo Knight (and you're missing out on having one great album cover in your collections if you do), the 12" is definitely worth scooping up.

Oh, and by the way, the MC who scored highest marks on Moe Dee's report card? K.M.D. himself, of course.

Kool Moe Dee's Lost LL Diss

After his long run with Jive, and his brief but prolific stint with Wrap/Ichiban (two albums in the same year ain't bad), Kool Moe Dee came out with one last record. "Love Love" came out on Spoiled Brat Records, a label best known for putting out some spotty Kool Keith records before people realized just how bad he was falling off. They also put out obscure comeback releases by Father MC, Three X Dope, and the Krown Rulers. I mean, any label that spells the artist's name wrong (see the pic) pretty much speaks for itself.

But "Love Love" is actually pretty ok. Despite what its title suggests, it's no love song; just straight, hardcore freestyle rhymes mixed with a little Stop the Violence message. He uses a lot of fast, playful short rhymes to showcase his skills. You won't be blown away or anything, but it's enough to remind you why he was such a highly respected lyricist back in the day. This song's like a cross between "Death Blow" and "New Rap Language," though not quite as good as either of those: "mad heads want that rah-rah, but uh-uh; I'm like the papa - The Idi Amin Dada, cut ears off with the mic; I'll kill rah rah with la-la, like Fugees did 'Fugee-La,' that rah rah I can't feel ya, so I will be like 'see ya!' My ether makes me the born king so I will be the impeccable rhyme speaker, drop missles like heat seekers." The beat is also no doubt meant to be reminiscent of his James Brown-heavy LL diss, with a similar drum track a simple bassline and a sample which is basically exactly the same as the signature "Death Blow" horn stabs, but played on a keyboard (I'm guessing).

Did I mention LL dissing? Yeah... the real reason most of you will probably want to seek this out is the b-side. It's got a 70's Cold Crush-style hook and an old school, hardcore beat. And he sounds angry: "to me the microphone is like a razor blade in prison." The first verse is kind of a generic battle rhyme, but verse two starts with an LL quote, "What the uh? I thought I conquered the world! Crushed Moe Dee, Hammer and Ice-T;" and it's on from there:

"Who the hell you crush? What?
You can't touch the god.
Come on, let's keep it real; You know I crushed ya, Todd.
You're trying to hit the new heads with hip-hop fallacies;
But in reality, you wouldn't battle me.
The stage was set, the money was up,
I placed my money and said 'what?'
And like a bee-otch, we watched the girlie come up out ya;
Heads know about ya, old heads can vouch for
The facts of your fiction ciphered in your diction;
You're just talking shit like a jaded politician.
Say you're rippin', ain't nothin' different;
You want the whippin'? I'll step in the house where ya livin',
And do it on TV, so people can see me,
Wreck you in your own house - make it easy.
While you're frontin', you don't want none;
You never had a battle;
Your mic is like a rattle.
Your style is goo goo gah gah,
But you know you do nada;
You talk it like it's rah rah,
But we know you're pooh nah nah.
Fourteen shots to the dome?
You'll get your spot blown;
I'm talking after dark where it's not shown.
I'm talkin' rhyme time on straight up prime time,
Where men do battles on mics in places that you can't find!"

...And he keeps going, ripping LL 'till the end of the song.

Spoiled Brat records had some very limited, unusual distribution, so they can be pretty hard to track down. But fortunately, not a lot of heads know about this one - or were checking for Moe Dee during that era - so the few that are out there are usually pretty inexpensive. Get it cheap while you can.

Oh, and by the way, Kool Moe Dee is apparently working on a comeback album called Return of the King on Platinum Diamond Records. You can hear tracks off of it on his myspace page. Of course, it says it will be out on 2007... so that might be the only way you'll get to hear it. The production kinda sucks anyway.

Tags: Kool Moe Dee

The Foundation

This dude Jayquan runs one of the best hip-hop sites on the 'net, period. Sure, venture capitalists might not be sinking hundreds of thousands of dollars into designing flash-heavy layouts and throwing champagne parties in the city's hot spots to get "buzz." But he's got real content, which the Billionaire Boys Club of today will never touch. It's just him (and fellow writer Troy) doing brilliant, in-depth interviews with old school legend after old school legend. But what a lot of people don't know is that he's an MC, too.

He started out in Virginia as a part of the Too Def Crew in the late 80's, which I'd never heard of and you probably wouldn't've either if you weren't living in VA at the time. But they came back in the 90's as The First Sons, a crew I had heard of... they opened for groups like The Supafriendz (back when they were blowing up), and I used to have one of their 12"'s.

Anyway, he came back in the 2000's not just with his awesome website, but with a mostly self-produced solo album called Urban Legend. And off of that album was this hot and very overlooked 12", "5 Mics" (the only track produced by someone else - a guy called Dr. No). Right away you know it's worth picking up because of the guest MCs - Melle Mel and Grandmaster Caz (who recently did another nice collabo on the Top Shelf 8/8/88 album). They both come off nice (don't worry, this is no Die Hard); and the pleasant surprise is that Jayquan elegantly holds his own with the two giants.

The production's smooth... simple but it kicks. It's the perfect track to support three MC's flexing their skills, which is exactly what each verse is about... wordplay, clever one-liners (without getting to jokey) and representing. It fits right into the late 90's era of indie rap, and MCs like Canibus, Natural Elements and Common (before he went all experimental R&B on us) were getting everyone excited.

The b-side features a nice remix (also produced by Dr. No), which adds another MC to the mix: Devine Mekkah, also of The First Sons. Both mixes are nice, and personally I still prefer the A-side, but the remix has a jazzy DITC-ish kind of sound, with some jazzy samples and a little scratching; and the beat changes for each verse... bottom line, whichever you prefer, you'll want both.

Now, both those mixes were on the album, but then the 12" goes it one better, adding a bonus mix (again by Dr. No). It essentially takes one of the better beats from the remix and applies it to the original lyrical version. Good stuff. In fact, about the only negative thing I can say about this record is that "5 Mics" was a tired, played out Source reference even back in '03. The 12" also features instrumentals (and radio edits, if you care); so definitely track it down.

I say "track" it down, because Jayquan no longer seems to be selling it on his site (where I got mine)... I guess it's sold out. About time, I say, because a 12" like this should've sold out a long time ago.

But before I go, there's an interesting tidbit I have left ot share. Check out this promo comic that came with my order--->

First of all, it's fresh, ain't it? But second of all, it's got Kool Moe Dee in it! If you can't be bothered clicking to enlarge the scan, it's talking about bringing together THREE old school legends, Mel, Caz and Moe Dee. This interview with Jayquan at AftricasGateway.com has the story: "See since the early 80s I felt that Mel, Moe Dee and Caz were 3 of the greats... I obtained contact info for Mel, Caz & Kool Moe Dee, who I really wanted to appear on the song, but he declined." He must've dropped out pretty late if he was in the promo artwork. Ah, well... what might have been. It's still a great record, so it's hard to complain. Your loss, Moe Dee!

Xmas Rap On a Budget

^Video blog!!
(I think I'm at the point where I don't need to point this out anymore, but just in case... You're looking at original content created for this blog; not just linking something by somebody else.)

Tags: The Treacherous Three, Kool Moe Dee