A Wrong Love Song

There were of course rap songs about girls, relationships and love songs before LL Cool J's "I Need Love," but that song definitely triggered an explosion of copycats for years to come. It introduced the token love rap, usually slowed down with sappy non-hip-hop instrumentation and spoken word flows that had to be hiding on every rapper's album somewhere. This one here, however, I'm not sure if LL is responsible for or not. It came out the same year, 1987, but it doesn't fit the style of the token love rap I described at all. It has traditional, B-boy style flows, with distinction efforts to show off intelligent lyrical skills (by 1987 standards), over a pretty fresh, stripped down beat. They do sing on the hook, but you have to expect that from a (Full) Force Organization, love song or not; and if you pay attention to the lyrics, or even just the title, the traditional love song sentiments are amusingly reversed. It's not "oh baby, I so softly and warmly need to be by your side," it's "Ya Cold Wanna Be With Me." It might actually be UTFO's sardonic, antithetical response to Cool Jame's "I Need Love."

These days, "wrong" love songs are almost the norm in hip-hop. With the glorification of pimps, to the the way rappers like Ja Rule consistently devolve into lines like, "Bitch, you know better; we live M.O.B.: money over bitches, murder I.N.C. I got two or three hoes for every V, and I keep 'em drugged up off that ecstasy" in what are ostensibly their love songs with Ashanti. Romance and juvenile, hyper-masculine posturing tend to conflict. But I dare say, back in 1987, especially in the middle of the "I Need Love" shockwaves, a "wrong" love song - that is, a song that at first glance appears to be a straight-forward, sentimental, but then turned out to be expressing just the opposite emotions, playfully mocking our trite expectations - might have still been a little surprising.

Right from the chorus, it sounds sweet and romantic, with, "hey girl, you wanna be with me? Because I need someone to be with, someone to talk to;" but immediately reverses that by presumptuously telling the girl she wants to be with them. Imagine your marriage vows written from that point of view: you're hot for me, babe; and frankly, you're lucky to get me. And that's practically how The Educated Rapper starts his first full verse: "she wants to be with me, and I know this for sure/ I can tell as soon as she walks through the door/ swings and sways and shakes her stuff like Jell-O/ waiting for EMD to say hello." It's the extra confidence of hip-hop injected into the songs of the previous generation.

But then UTFO run way further with it, going completely off the rails. Beyond simply turning the tables on the old cliches, they fly off in their own directions. First they get overtly sexual (and remember, this is 1987, well long before 2 Live Crew and the like started pushing the envelope), with Kangol wryly saying, "well I'm definitely a lover/ Hard when I'm undercover/ I'll do kinky things to you if you swear not to tell your mother." And EMD immediately raises the stakes even further, "I want a girl with action/ Control like Janet Jackson/ I hate the dark; I want the light so I can see reaction/ Against all relaxin', prepare for steady waxin'/ When you leave, you must pay E. For what? Satisfaction." Again, gangster rap may have taken the outrageous edge off a line like that, but you've gotta imagine a more innocent rap age.

But I don't mean to say the song was shocking. All of this is well post-Blowfly, after all. It's more... playfully subversive. Parents would just see their kids watching a nice video of the fellas doing synchronized dance moves on the waterfront talking about being "in search of love." Meanwhile, we'd be memorizing lines like, "she only talks the talk, never walks the walk/ She must be the most hard up in all New York." Unfortunately, I think a lot of heads have dismissed this as just another run-of-the-mill rap love song, but how can you not get a kick out of Doctor Ice saying his heart desperately longs for someone "like Chi Chi Williams on The Eyewitness News?" Hell, at one point he even admits, "I feel like punchin' her dead in the grill, but that's ill; so Doc just chills." What? Even Ja Rule wouldn't say that! Plus, the way they introduce old school harmonizing into their rhymes or let the DJ have a hardcore breakdown at the end? It's really what UTFO did best: applying their personalities to make an ordinary song a little unique and a lot more fun.

And trust these guys to sneak a little extra fun onto the 12". You've got the main vocal version, a radio edit and another cut from their Lethal album, "Diss," as the B-side. And there's the Rare Dub: a stripped down version of the main song, with a lot of the vocals almost acapella, recited only over the sparse drums and the rest of the instrumentation cutting in and out. It's kind of a cool alternative if you've played out the main version. But don't lift the needle yet, because there's a short, uncredited hidden track at the very end. It's a lyrical remix, with Mixmaster Ice grabbing the mic and going for self. He's right on message with the rest of the guys, asking girls if they "wanna live with me, or live off of me," throwing in a reference to his Zodiac sign and saying how, like the true DJ he is, "there's been many a day that I've been wantin' to date you/ put you on my Technic and rotate you."

This song isn't for everybody; but for a few of us, it's a shared secret that can still make us smile nearly 30 years later.

The House Party Bully

So, I mentioned in yesterday's post, that Full Force reprised their characters as the bullies in the first two House Party movies on their latest record. But what I didn't mention is that this isn't actually the first time they did that. Way back in 1990, on UTFO's fifth album, Bag It and Bone It, Bowlegged Lou joins EMD, The Educated Rapper on "If You Don't Wanna Get Pregnant..." But he doesn't join him as himself. Instead he raps in character as Pee Wee, easily the most memorable of the bullies thanks to his unreal, cartoonish voice.

Bag It and Bone It was a weird album for UTFO. Doctor Ice had left the group to pursue his solo career, so EMD takes the front seat here. And, while there are some clean and even positive messagey songs; the bulk of it is dirty to the point of almost mean spiritedness. It's like they decided hip-hop was no longer going to support an old school group like UTFO anymore, so the answer was to become the east coast 2 Live Crew. A group that basically never cursed even in the late 80s. and just talked about sex through winky innuendos suddenly produced an album that could rival Willie D's, with lines like "I'm greedy, I want ALL the punanny; I don't give a damn if it's sister or mommy." Bushwick Bill rapped about killing a girl and having "sex with her corpse before I left her," but I'm not sure The Geto Boys were even prepared to cross the incest line. And back in 1990, this type of stuff was still shocking. Especially since nobody saw it coming from the guys who released "Bad Luck Barry" and "Fairytale Lover."

So, anyway, UTFO was missing Doc Ice, but they were still an official Force Organization. The Force still has co-writing and production credit for the bulk of the album. And, yes, Bowlegged Lou takes the mic to record a proper duet with EMD on this one song. As Pee Wee.

On the album, the song is preceeded by a long-ish skit where EMD says, "I wanna do this with that character you was playin' in that movie." That's followed by EMD and Pee Wee calling in a "bitch" and talk her into sucking their dicks. Because that's the unwritten second half of the song title... "If you don't wanna get pregnant, suck the dick." It ends with sound effects, like that Biggie skit, except with the added bonus of Pee Wee getting off in his crazy high-pitched voice.

Then the song starts and the production consists of an actually really funky loop with tight, jazzy horns. The raps (and yes, Pee Wee has full rap verses; he's not just here as a background character) are angry and x-rated (really, just call up that crazy Pee Wee voice in your head aa you read the following lines, "you mean to say my dick's hard for nothin'? Well, spread your butt cheeks 'cause I'm fuckin' somethin'!"), but the music is surprisingly upbeat and cheerful. There's an amusing breakdown where the girl voice sings "I'm sucking it baby" to the tune of LL's "Jingling Baby."

Surprisingly, they released this as a single. I mean, instrumentally I could see it warranting it a single, but there's no way this song could play on any radio or TV station. Amazingly, there is a Clean Version on here, but it's useless. There's not a five second span of this song that isn't curse-filled and x-rated.

The b-side is the album track "Hoein' for the Dough." In contrast to the A-side, this is a slow, calm song, with EMD's flow sounding downright Southern. It's got a really funky bassline, though, and some nice, underplayed scratches by Mixmaster Ice. Lyrically, well, the title tells the whole story; but EMD does manage to breathe some extra life into it with colorful details and an extra smooth delivery.

And this 12" has an exclusive, too: a Slammin' Remix of "If You Don't Wanna Get Pregnant..." It completely replaces the original instrumental elements with a hype and very 80's track. Interestingly, they cut out the part of the girl singing "I'm sucking it, baby" but replace it with Ice scratching in LL's line, "go 'head, baby." You'd never get the reference if you weren't intimately familiar with the album version, but there it is. It's a pretty dope mix, though the original has the advantage of sounding more original, whereas this sounds like multiple songs we've heard before. But it's all kind of wasted, anyway, since x-rated Pee Wee basically turns the whole thing into a novelty track.

As such, even though there's clearly a lot of talent evident, it's hard to actually recommend this single to anyone beyond a quick, "can you believe this exists?" listen. I guess that's why it's one of the most common bargain bin fillers in the genre ...not to mention the end of UTFO's recording career. But curiosity seekers ought to know that this dark side to the House Party soundtrack is out there in the world. And I wonder how close Jive Records was to asking Lou if they could just sign Pee Wee to a solo deal.

UTFO, Roxanne Shanté & Full Force - Roxanne, Roxanne (The New Chapter)

If you're under thirty, just go ahead and skip this post.

Now, for everybody still here - holy shit!

Where to start? Well, okay, Full Force is back with a new album. Not excited yet? Neither was I at first. I mean, I remember buying their first comeback album, Sugar On Top, and just thinking "bleh." I didn't even bother to pick up their second comeback LP in 2001, Still Standing, which featured mostly live recordings of their old hits. Who needs echoey, inferior renditions of records I already have? The ship had sailed on these guys, and I'm not even sure how big I was on their past albums. They were at best uneven. And this is a hip-hop blog, not an R&B fansite.

Well, it's still a couple months off, but on August 26, Full Force's With Love From Our Friends, which is finally their first comeback album to capture everything that was so great about these guys in the first place. And it's not just a new album, it's a reunion album with basically everybody they've ever worked with ever. I mean, granted, a couple of the superstars they've produced, like Justin Timberlake aren't here. And Lisa Lisa is conspicuously absent. But it's seriously an overwhelming list. Here's just some of them, the ones I'm not going to delve deeper into further below: Faith Evans, motherfuckin' Shiela E, Raphael Saadiq, Shanice (remember her?), Tisha Campbell-Martin, Tevin Campbell, Naturi Naughton, Silk, Troop (now that's takin' it back!), Next, 112, Allure, Regina Belle, Howard Hewett and Raymond Luke Jr. (star of that Broadway show Motown: The Musical). That's just the ones I'm not gonna talk about.

I said this is a hip-hop blog, not an RB fansite. So rest assured I wouldn't be covering this if there weren't also rappers on hand as well. And I'ma get to that, but for everybody who group up with The Full Force Family, let me finish geeking on the other stuff first. The roster is overwhelming, but what really stands out is that the production, instrumentation and arrangements are really strong here. This isn't a washed up group cashing in on their name and industry connections. This is a really impressive album.

It's also all over the map. Their press sheet says this album "reflects the group's broad range of sounds and styles." That's always been how Full Force rolls, but seeing as how this song features the entire planet, it's even more wildly all over the place. Ce Ce Peniston and Freedom Williams (our first rapper) come back to make a club hit. Of course Cheryl Pepsi Riley is back, and she has a great classically R&B song with Meli'Sa Morgan and Vivica A. Fox, who actually provides a killer intro. And there's a great duet with The Force MD's. With Love is often religious - this album even features a childrens' choir - but they manage to make it all sound great.

Okay, now get this. Remember how Doctor Ice ended his album with a crazy half skit/ half song with a cameo by Blair Underwood, as his character from LA Law? They even brought HIM back on here! He's on this posse cut where a bunch of guys, including Malcolm Jamal Warner, Omari Hardwick and Big Daddy Kane do spoken word poems about Heaven over a choral song by the Force and Najee. Actually, Kane's appearance is the most disappointing on this album, since the spoken word stuff is corny ("her persona would make Malcolm Jamal want her") and un-engaging on the most skippable song. The production still makes it very listenable, but Kane is just wasted here.

And okay, I'm almost done; but I've just got to talk about the craziest song on here, "Dance Dance, Throw Ur Hands Up In the Air Air" by The Force and Samantha Fox. Yup, they brought everybody back! And they're on full-on autotune mode; she sounds like Ke$ha; and unless you absolutely hate these kinds of songs (a lot of people do; couldn't blame ya) it actually works. This song really continues The Full Force tradition also of the crazy, silly B-sides, because The Force revive their characters from the House Party movies. You know the bullies with the crazy voices? Well, they're back in full "I smell.... PUSSY!" mode. And if that's still not enough for you, there's a bonus verse by Flavor Flav, yes also rapping in autotune. And man, he totally should've been on "Blah Blah Bla;" forget those wack 3Oh3 guys.

Look, this album was designed for a very particular audience whose minds are gonna be blown. But anybody else who checks for it will at least find very well made, eccentric album. And yeah, I haven't even gotten to the final, most important track yet.

If I didn't feel the need to fangasm over this project, I could've just skipped to writing baout this one song, because this is the one readers of hip-hop blogs should care about: "Roxanne, Roxanne (The New Chapter)." Of course, you know Full Force had to bring UTFO, the UnTouchable Force Organization back, and this is a whole new song all about that same old girl, with Force singing a new hook and the guys kicking all new verses. There have been a couple UTFO albums without the full line-up, so I guess I should specificy that yes, all four are back, Mixmaster Ice even has some nice scratching moments. The instrumental is a really cool blend of that original 1984 feel with all new, modern elements; and yes they hold true to the original by changing the instrumental for each verse. Bow Legged Lou's son is on here, and yeah, that feels like some forced nepotism, but he sounds fine on here for his short part, so it's alright. I remember tweeting to a fun, 2014 "Roxanne, Roxanne" update by some random internet rapper which was pretty fun; but this is a real deal follow-up by the original guys and actually given a physical release. Oh, and did I mention that Roxanne Shanté is on here, too? And she sounds great kicking it in total '84 mode, still setting it off on the EMD:

"Let me tell you the story I think that they forgot;
It was downtown Brooklyn,
It was really, really hot.
The day-a it was sunny,
He told me he had money;
He was broke and a joke
And he thought that it was funny.
He said he was a rapper,
I told him 'I should slap ya,
Start running sown the block
And them boys gonna cap ya.'
He went running down the block
But he didn't get far.
They caught him and they did 'im
Like it was WorldStar."

Thirty years later, they're all parents now; and they're finally having it out on a Roxanne record together. Whether you care about the rest of the album or not is one thing - just how many of your developmental years were soundtracked by all these people - but all you old school heads gotta at least check out for this new "Roxanne, Roxanne." It's good times.

The Craziest Show

I'm not sure how many heads are really familiar with UTFO, beyond "Roxanne, Roxanne," these days. But certainly to anyone who was, it's pretty well known that Doctor Ice wound up leaving the group to pursue his solo career, and in 1991, for their final album, the famous four-man crew became three. But it's been well less publicized that, in 1986 for the period of their second album, the four man crew was also reduced to three when EMD, The Educated Rapper rather mysteriously went AWOL. He returned four their third album, Lethal. But for their one EP, Skeezer Pleezer, they were briefly one man short, consisting only of two MCs: Kangol Kid and Doc Ice, and their DJ Mixmaster Ice. But they still managed to produce one hit single, "Split Personality."

"Split Personality," like the rest of Skeezer Pleezer, was produced by their parent group, Full Force; and it's already a damn fun song. Kangol tells light-hearted anecdotes of being afflicted with not only split, but constantly reverting, personalities:

"Help an old lady across the street...
Then trip the crab by sticking out my feet!
But then I'd pick her up before she dirties her dress...
And charge her five dollars for all that mess!"

And Doc Ice in particular uses it as a platform to segue from one silly impression to another. He becomes Miguel, the Chief Rocker MC or his larger than life ragamuffin personality Dread Doc, which he actually maintained throughout the rest of his career.  He not only rocks crazy foreign accents, from Chinese to... Eddie Murphy, but even raps in foreign languages.

But the zany heights soar even higher on this 12" single, where it's been remixed by Howie Tee. It's about a minute longer, and most notably features the infamous organ refrain from Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor," known throughout the world for being the theme of The Phantom of the Opera. Again, this dropped in 1986, and evidenced by the big programmed beats and crazy voices and free-for-all nature of the songwriting, this is clearly their entry in a long line of "The Show" knock-offs.  But the fact that they tie everything together with the concept of multiple personalities - there is a coherence to what the MCs are rapping, if not a lot of actual sense - plus some of the darker themes, lyrically and instrumentally with the Phantom theme, give this almost as much in common with songs like "Haunted House of Rock" and "Amityville (House On the Hill)." This makes it just as much of a Halloween party record as another record in "The Show" mini-genre.

So either version of the song is a good time, and most of the elements of the song are featured in both versions. But the 12" version just goes that extra but further, making it easily the definitive version.  I can still clearly remember back in the 80's when I bought Skeezer Pleezer, and being disappointed that the Phantom theme never played, "this isn't the right version!"

There's only the remix on 12". The B-side is the The Remix Dub. Fans should also know that Doctor Ice also wrote a bit of a sequel to "Split Personality," somewhat darker (but not without its own sense of silliness) for his second solo album in 1994. It's called "Possessed," and while it doesn't fully recapture the magic of this near classic, it's pretty enjoyable in its own right - especially if you're familiar enough with the history to appreciate it. But of course, nothing beats the original.

Something By U.T.F.O.

So, I was going through my tapes and thought I might talk about UTFO's Hits album. It's a bit of an oddity, probably stemming from the fact that UTFO was a talented group with a long running career (well, by hip-hop standards), a number of albums and a substantial fanbase... but not really many hits. Y'know, besides that one. They even wound up making a song about it on their last album, "Something By U.T.F.O.," venting their frustration, "Lethal was an album we had... It went to number two, 'cause number one was Michael Jackson with Bad... but I don't think y'all played it once!" During the chorus, fans call into a radio station to request UTFO and get various rejections like, "You mean UB40, don't you?" or "Uh, you mean something besides 'Roxanne, Roxanne'?" It's a fun song*, but I think they missed the point. Listen to Lethal. It's a nice album, but find the potential hit single there. ...Exactly. And the same applies to all their follow-up albums, too.

So, what do they end up doing? They make some pretty odd choices... After a brief intro (a sample of Don Cornelius introducing them on Soul Train), the album opens with... their token love song from their third album? Now, it's actually a pretty decent song, and it was released as a single and video in its day. But if that's your opener, you know you're in some kind of trouble.

They do manage to include some of the obvious choices... "Leader Of the Pack," their Krush Groove record "Pick Up the Pace," and "Split Personality." But "Masterbaby?" "The Ride?" Those're some weird album filler tracks only us hardcore UTFO fans probably even remember, and yet songs like "We Work Hard," "Hangin' Out," "Rough & Rugged," and others that were actually released as singles are skipped over. Not even their debut (and still one of my favorites), "Beats and Rhymes," makes its way on here.

The album also makes the strange choice of excluding any reference to UTFO's last album, Bag It and Bone It. Now granted, it's nobody's favorite (even down to the title choice), and they had lost core member Doctor Ice by that point (though that didn't stop them from including songs from Skeezer Pleezer, where they were missing EMD); but they don't even include it on the inside artwork showing all of their albums available on Select Records. It's like they're just sweeping it under the rug. ...And this Hits album came out in '96, a full five years after Bag It, so it's nothing to do with that.

One of the bonuses you get with this album are these "Hip Hop Props" numbers. They're seven recordings of different hip-hop celebs praising UTFO that sound like they were done over the phone, then laid on top of the "Leader Of the Pack" beat and spread throughout the album. I say "bonuses," but really, like any skit on an album, they're more like irritating detriments once you've listened to it a couple of times. To nail the "only one hit" awkwardness of the album home, pretty much every single one of the artists giving props (Vinnie of Naughty By Nature, DJ Red Alert, MC Lyte, Big Daddy Kane, and Prince Paul, who calls himself, "of the Gravediggaz," which gives you a sense of the period we're in) all just talk about "Roxanne, Roxanne." Only Tuffy of Video Music Box (man, I used to watch Video Music Box all the time... I don't remember any "Tuffy") and Run talk about anything else... and even Run starts out by name-dropping it. Run talks about how "Peter Piper" was actually inspired by "Fairytale Lover" (yeah, they even included that R&B song off their first album on this compilation), which was interesting... although neither was the first hip-hop song to fill their lyrics with fairy-tale references.

The album ends with a new song, "Lollipop," exclusive to this collection. It features a verse from The Real Roxanne with R&B singer Syncere on the hook, and the instrumental is based on Mtume's "Juicy Fruit." It's an ok song, mostly using moderately-at-best clever candy-themed sexual innuendos... Roxanne asks us to "taste her birth canal" in a way that ellicits a real "no thanks!" reaction she probably wasn't going for. But it's a fun song. Definitely not single worthy, but fitting as the token new track on a greatest hits album. Unfortunately, they're still missing Doctor Ice, which is a definite disappointment; but at least it features an EMD who, since Bag It, had really started to find a distinctive voice for himself**.

A couple of the "Hip Hop Props" (specifically Tuffy and Prince Paul), reference UTFO coming with new material... so it seems like a UTFO comeback was originally planned to follow this album. Sadly, that never happened, which adds another slight air of disappointment to an already offbeat compilation. Now, I already linked Doc Ice's myspace page in a previous post, but Kangol, EMD and Mixmaster Ice all have myspaces, too; and Mixmaster Ice has - or had, it seems to be down at the moment - his own site at: mixmasterice.com. There's also a myspace for the whole crew; so maybe that reunion album is still a possibility?

*It's not on Hits, though, so don't get too excited.

**The cassette version of Bag It and Bone It is the one to own, by the way... it features like four or five "bonus cuts" that aren't featured on the LP, most of which are better than the main ones. In fact, my favorite song on that album, "Beef Pattie" (that's not the crass sexual innuendo you might guess it is from looking at the album cover), is a cassette only bonus cut.

Tags: UTFO, U.T.F.O.