The Nightmarish Tales of Anita the Beast

(Happy Halloween, Hip-Hop fans!  Let's start off with a Dana Dane classic and then delve into some more fun, obscure goodies.  Youtube version is here.)

Where They Are Now

This Is It, Y'all. Mp3s have been floating around the 'net for a while, but the actual record finally just came out: "Where Are They Now," the remixes. In fact, it's a Japan-only limited edition 12" on Ill Will Records (Nas's sub-label imprint), so snatch it while you can.

So, what's the big deal about a remix 12" of a mediocre (at best) Nas song? After all, Hip-Hop Is Dead is just one more in an increasingly long series of dull and disappointing follow-ups to Illmatic, and "Where Are They Now" was one of the worst songs on there. The beat was dope, but very familiar: James Brown's "Get Up, Get Into It, Get Involved," which has been used in about a bajillion previous hip-hop records, from Kool G Rap's "Poison," to the most similar that I can think of, Professor Griff's "Pawns In the Game" (let's face it: essentially, this is the instrumental to "Pawns In the Game"). It's still damn good, though; and this beat would be fine - one of Nas's best even, though that's saying very little - if it wasn't for the rhymes. Yes, "Where Are They Now" is another one of those boring, lifeless name-dropping songs; where an MC does nothing but list the names of other MCs in the hopes that some of their "street cred" rubs off on them. 2Pac did it, Big Daddy Kane did it, Bahamadia did it, Edan did it; everybody's done it. It's not original, engaging, entertaining or thoughtful; it's just... a list. It's like when hip-hop albums had those boring shout-out tracks at the end, only here they're right smack in the middle and the artists think it makes them cool or something. Who the heck wants a remix of that?

Of course, most of you reading this already know the punch-line... As I say, this has been on the internet for months. But now the actual record has been released. Why is this such a must-have? Because of the line-up!

"Where Are They Now (90's Remix)" features Redhead Kingpin, Rob Base, Spinderella, Father MC, Monie Love, Mike G of the Jungle Brothers, EST of Three Times Dope, Positive K, Krazy from Das EFX, Mr. DoItAll from Lords of the Underground, Chip-Fu from the Fu-Shcnickens and Dres from Blacksheep! Nas doesn't even rap on this; he just "hosts" it, saying a few words between every couple of verses. Instead he's just found all (well, not all... but a lot) of the MCs he name-dropped on the album cut and gave them eight bars each to shine on this new, massive posse cut. The instrumental keeps the James Brown track, but blends in the instrumentals form each MC's greatest hit - sometimes more than one, even - during their verse (most of the time it works really well, though a few times they don't gel together as well as the rest... for example, "Monie In the Middle" mixes in hot, but trying to get "I Got a Man" in there feels a little awkward).

So, you've got the 90's remix, plus the instrumental, then you flip the record over and damn! "Where Are They Now (80's Remix)," which is formatted the same way and features MC Shan, Raheem of the Furious Five, Doctor Ice and Kangol of UTFO, Kool Moe Dee, Sha Rock of US Girls and The Funky Four + One, Tito of the Fearless Four, Grandmaster Caz, LinQue, Dana Dane, Pebblee Poo (remember? She did "Fly Guy," the answer record to the Boogie Boys' "Fly Girl") of the Masterdon Committee and Just-Ice!

Then there's "Where Are They Now (West Coast Remix)," which gives up on the decidedly east-coast sounding James Brown foundation in favor of a more mellow track for the West Coast MCs: Breeze, Kam, King Tee, Candyman, Threat, Ice-T, Sir Mix-A-Lot and the Conscious Daughters. It's a definite head-nodder, but they've also forgone the technique of blending in each MC's previous hit(s) to the instrumental, which is a little disappointing. Guess they got a little lazy by remix #3, but it's still cool; you won't really miss it.

Now, I say how can you not need this record just looking at those line-ups? And most of the MCs come off well, too (even the ones that don't instill much faith based on their past output). Stand outs for me would be: Redhead Kingpin, Shan, Doc Ice, Kool Moe Dee and Breeze; but I'm sure everybody will have their own favorites. I made two previous posts (here and here), naming what I feel are the two essential, full-length albums of 2007 to date. Well, this would be one of the two essential 12" singles of 2007 (the other being Master Ace & Marco Polo's "Nostalgia;" except, lamely, it only features the clean/edited version), definitely a necessity.

The Other Dana Dane Comeback 12"

In a previous entry about Dana Dane's (notice the link, by the way? that's what I'm talkin' about!) latest comeback record, I mentioned he had an "other" one first. Well, this is it. "Let Me Do My Thing" came out a year before "Fame 2000" on Hardball Entertainment, and it's produced and co-written by, believe it or not, Redhead Kingpin and David Wynn (I don't know much about Mr. Wynn, but there's a definite Teddy Riley connection here, as he's co-produced stuff by artists like Wreckx-N-Effect and Blackstreet).

This was a pretty low-key, limited release... when I mentioned it to Redhead Kingpin in a 1999 interview, he was pretty surprised anybody'd heard of it. Redhead was making a bit of a comeback as a producer at the time, producing for R&B singers like Mona Lisa, Case, Kandice Love and Kym Rae. He was mainly pleased by how different they were able to make Dana sound from his old school work, and that if you were to hear this on the radio, you wouldn't even recognize that it was him (which is true; Dane's famous accent is almost entirely lost in the deep, whispered ultra-laid back delivery on this record). Now, I don't really know how good of an idea it is to take a beloved old school entertainer making his comeback and strip him of his most appealing and sellable aspects on his "debut" single, but hey. It's what they wanted to do, I guess; and they succeeded.

So... the song's not bad. The production is kind of bouncy, but slow, with a very "all music created by a studio technician with no samples or instruments" kind of sound. Dane's rapping is adequate, but completely uninspired. I doubt anybody would really dislike the song, per se; but you'd have to be a pretty serious Dana Dane fan to really care if you heard it a second time. The b-side features a remix, with the same basic instrumental chopped a little differently by Mate Boogie (he also did a remix for that Redhead produced Kym Rae single I mentioned before), who also adds some scratches to the mix... which manages to make it slightly more interesting, but still nothing more than mixtape filler.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find any current links for Redhead Kingpin (though he was recently featured on the 90's remix of Nas's "Where Are They Now?"), but I did find DJ Wildstyle (of the FBI crew)'s myspace. :)

All You DJs Out There Looking for a New "Nightmare"

Ok, the point of this blog isn't really about posting the rarest, most unfindable records ever, so much as to create awareness of some cool, overlooked records you might want to go out and track down for yourself. So, while I still intend on examining some hard-to-find rarities in future (in fact, I already have one on deck I plan on writing about soon), I'd like to focus on something a little more possible for people checking out my blog.

This is the second comeback 12" from Dana Dane (unless you count his material on Madonna's label as a comeback, which I guess it was), and the better of the two. The song is upbeat, with a bouncy track, basslline, keyboards and a cool horn sample - just what anyone who buys a Dana Dane record is probably looking for (a lesson he probably learned after the lack of fan response to his last single, "Let Me Do My Thing"). The lyrics on this song are better than you'd probably expect from Dane at this point, too... and, yes, the British accent is back:

"I helped set the precedent
For these rappers today.
They don't owe me jack,
But stay out of my way.
And you party promoters got some kind of nerve,
To have the Diggy-Dane standing outside on the curb.
Yo, I've been asking two or three times to enter the club.
Yo, cats like me? You should always show love.
All y'all DJ's looking for a new 'Nightmare?'
Pipe yo' ass down, and pump this hit right here.
Yeah, friends said, 'Dana,
Change with the times.
Get a dope ass beat,
Kick a simple ass rhyme.
You'll be paid. ...like back in the days.'
People see ya on the street and they say,[sample:] 'Dana Dane, that natural born poet'
Two thou!
When I'm out,
People Steady tellin' me -
People always askin' me,
'Dane, what's with that new LP?'
I said, 'I'm comin' in two thou'
Makin' fake ones bow,
And that tilted kangol?
Is still my style.'"

The hook loops the "faaayyaayyaammme" sample from his original "Dana Dane With Fame," and the song ends with a montage of his greatest hits. Vocal samples of, "man, you get your ass kicked thinking Dana Dane ain't got classics" precedes each short clip of one of his most famous songs from his first album (sorry, no love for Dana Dane 4 Ever), mixed into the track.

Then, just to prove the old hip-hop fan's adage "b-side wins again," he returns on the flip with Slick Rick for the must-have "Dynamic Duo" (only the second recorded collaboration with his Kangol Crewmate after "The Godfather" off that WWF album). Now, on this one Dana Dane doesn't quite manage to keep up with Rick, who kills it with his ultra-relaxed slick flow that he was just mastering when his comeback got jammed up in legal strife and label pressure to clutter The Art of Storytelling with big-name guest spots. But you can't really complain; it's just a good song. Between each verse, the beat breaks down and Rick hollers, "this the part of the song we don't like!" for the hook.

Unfortunately, this record didn't get much (any!) attention, and seven years later, Dana has yet to release another record (and Rick isn't doing much besides the odd guest spot either). He was promoting a compilation album of new acts he was managing on his website, http://danadane.com/, but apparently they're renovating and the CD isn't currently available. You can hear one of the songs from it, "My Life Ain't No Lottery" (and it's just Dana, not his other MCs) on his myspace page, though: http://www.myspace.com/danadanewithfame. Check it out; it's pretty decent.