Mr. Wallenrod's Laff Attack

"I've heard of a heart attack... and a Big Mac Attack... but what's a Laff Attack?"

Laff Attack: Rappin' and Goofin' is the first (and still one of very few) hip-hop compilation albums to focus on funny rap songs. It came out on Priority Records in 1986, and features songs from various other labels.

Now. funny/novelty rap records have been around almost as early as rap records themselves. One of the handful of hip-hop records released before the 1980's was Steve Gordon & the Kosher Five's "Take My Rap... Please." Sugarhill put out records by Wayne & Charlie the Rapping Dummy, and even Sylvia Robinson's answer to Mel Brooks' novelty rap record "It's Good To Be the King," "It's Good To Be the Queen." So there was no shortage of potential material.

But this album makes some surprising selection choices. Rockmaster Scott's "The Roof Is On Fire?" That's a hip-hop classic, but there's really nothing funny about it. "Don't You Dog Me" must be on here because the album's producer's thought anything by The Fat Boys is funny... but why a fairly serious song about being treated poorly in relationships as opposed to something like "Double-O Fat Boys" or "Jailhouse Rap," where they rap about going to jail for robbing a Burger King?

Other songs are more obvious and appropriate choices, however. Yes, "Rappin' Duke" is on here, as is "Hambo - First Rap, Part 2" by Hambo, who even disses the Duke ("who's the rappin' duke who thinks he's so patriotic? 'Da-ha, da-ha' sounds pretty idiotic. Don't youse think that sounds stooopid?"). Also, funnier raps my more legit artists are included: "La Di Da Di" is a genuine rap classic, even more so than "The Roof Is On Fire," but I can't act so bewildered about what it's doing here.

Also included is Spyder-D's "Buckwheat's Beat" (though we all know the X-Rated Version that was included on the B-side of the original 12" was funnier) and one of the more unabashedly comic entries in the epic Roxanne saga, Ralph Rolle's "Roxanne's a Man." And a final curiosity, they (naturally) include the great "Honeymooner's Rap" by Joe Piscopo, Eddie Murphy and the great Grandmixer D.St... but they credit it to a group/artist named Lost Episodes, which is a little perplexing. And Priority did it again in 1989, on their Rapmasters compilation. The phrase "lost episodes" doesn't appear anywhere on the original 12"... It's just weird.

Anyway, there's nothing original or unique on this album (except the crazy illustration used for the cover). every song was previously released before. But it's still an undeniably enjoyable listen, and even the un-funny entries are still fun and fresh songs. I'd be hard-pressed to name a better album to listen to today... Happy April's Fools!

Vooodu Is Not At Home To Guests

To true rap lovers, the internet provides. I'm sure you've been there, too. You hear a really impressive, underground MC on a freestyle or guest verse, and then spend years seeking after everything they've committed to vinyl or CD... which turned out to be not much at all. A 12" or two, another guest verse... and that's their whole legacy. Until you got online, and started finding out about indie comebacks under new aliases, white label singles you never knew existed, unearthed demo tapes and obscure regional collaborations. And even when you've been on here for years and years, and you think you've plumbed the full depth of knowledge, discovering every release there is to discover, the internet shows you another one.

Arrived in my mailbox today is a 90's 12" single by an R&B singer I can't say I remember named Elisha La' Verne, called "Elisha Is Not At Home." I pretty much stopped buying R&B music since high school (although I did recently fill a gap, picking up Keith Sweat's "I Want Her" :-D), but obscure 90's rapper appearances? I'm all over that. And this, my friends, is the final guest appearance by Western Hemisfear's own Vooodu. 

Like his last release, the "Confessions" single, this came out on Sony/Epic in 1999, so surely that's how this pairing happened. It's a respectable, if by-the-numbers R&B vehicle built on the same Brick sample Akinyele used a few years earlier for "Put It In Your Mouth." The basic premise is that Elisha's not answering her ex's phone calls, and the hook is her answering machine. Then Vooodu comes in for the final act with the prerequisite rap verse as the ex who doesn't appreciate being put off.

The good news is that this is a substantial verse from Vooo, and not just one of those quick, throwaway five-second numbers like, "this is Biggie Biggie, I'm down with Puffy and we cosign Mary. Peace out" (I may've paraphrased the "Real Love" remix just slightly there). I mean, no, it doesn't compete with his sickest Wake Up Show freestyles, but some time was clearly put into the writing and it's got some lyrical integrity. And he sounds good over a smoothed out "Put It In Your Mouth;" he's even got kind of a East coast, Biggie-ish vibe going here. Granted, it's just one verse tucked away on a 4 1/2 minute R&B song, but it's genuinely worth your while and a completely respectable entry in Vooodu's limited canon.

This comes in Street and Clean Video Edits ('cause Vooodu didn't hold back on the cussing just because he was on an R&B single), and has an additional remix called the "Nite Trip - What Is It? Remix." It's produced by a guy named Lumbajack whose specialty is hard house. It's a shame, because what starts out like it's going to be a cool, dark and atmospheric remix that puts Vooodu more in his element is quickly ruined by all the zippy trance synths and clubby drums. It also completely clashes with Elisha's seductive crooning style, ultimately leaving us with just an ugly mess.

So stick with the A-side. But this isn't at all rare or hard to find nowadays, so if you're still a Vooodo fan from the Patchwerk days, it looks like the internet has come through again.

But wait!  Even that's not the end of the story.  Elisha put out a Japan-only CD album in 2000 called Change Your Way.  And guess what?  Vooodu is back for another round.  The song is called "Don't Wanna Be Your Fool," and Voo has two verses on it.  A brief introductory one ("your attitude is ridiculous, why you think I'm being mischievous? Listenin' to rumors and stuff. Supposed to believe in us, because you can't have love without trust"), and a fuller one about two thirds of the way through.  He even sounds more Biggie-ish here, but it's still his undeniably distinctive voice.

As the intro made pretty clear, the song's about not wanting to be cheated on and the need for trust in a relationship; and the bulk of it is Elisha crooning over a pretty boring R&B track co-produced by Mark Lomax and Marlon L. McClain of the Dazz Band.  But Vooodu gets his part in, "why do fools fall in love like Frankie Lymon sings? Vooodu: ladies' best friend like diamond rings.  I knew you couldn't resist the kiss, or the Cartier I put on your wrist, so what is this?  You havin' second thoughts now, I'm lost now.  Relationship was even, now you say you wanna walk out, 'cause you think you made a bad decision.  But I only have eyes for you, not worried 'bout no other women."  This is bottom shelf Vooodu, and I wouldn't recommend importing the album for this one quick appearance (he's the only guest MC on the album).  But it's nice to discover that the well goes every little bit deeper.

InstaRapFlix #35: Ghostride the Whip

If there's one... phase, style, fad, whatever in hip-hop that I don't know so much about, I think it's hyphy. I know of it, and I've certainly been a fan of some pre-hyphy releases by its mainstays like Mac Dre and E-40; but I've never really sunk my teeth into it. So I've decided to make my latest InstaRapFlix viewing to Ghostride the Whip (Netflix rating: 2 stars), a documentary on hyphy.

It's written and directed by DJ Vlad, who you probably best know as the Vlad of VladTV (where the Canibus/Premier beef just jumped off), and narrated by Sway of The Wake Up Show. Sway's narrattion is a bit stiff. But that's almost my only major crticiism. This movie goes deep, taking us back into the history of Oakland and Bay area rap well before hyphy. Hell, by the ten minute mark, the doc's still on The Black Panther Party and hasn't even gotten into the start of hip-hop music yet.

And this movie has everybody. Talking about the history of Oakland rap? Too $hort's there, MC Hammer, later E-40 and Mac Dre, Celly Cel, Keak da Sneak, etc etc. They've got the rights to play the appropriate hyphy songs and music videos, instead of just generic, loopy background music. There's lots of sideshow footage, and then interviews with cops about shutting them down. If you're worried you won't see anybody actually ghostriding their whips, don't worry, there's ample automobile theatrics, from vintage footage to plenty recorded just for the doc.

This doc covers the dancing, right down to the specifics moves and even diagrams the slang. It talks candidly about thizz and its effect on the scene, from stunna shades to the serious. There's some great history on Mac Dre from his early days to his legal problems with his crew and his eventual shooting, and even his wake.

It's not often I can recommend an InstaRapFlix, especially since I tend towards the obscure, which often leads to awful. But Ghostride the Whip, unexpectedly, turned out to be a really good documentary. Watch it. But don't try what you see at home.

The Original Ghetto Boys

(Youtube version is here.)

Because They Still Had It Like That

"Because I Got It Like That" was one of the many, many singles off of The Jungle Brothers' first album. Seriously, was there any song off that album that wasn't released as a single or B-side? Anyway, it was another great song in a series of great songs from them... The percussion pops like nobody's business and the JB's voices sound incredible over it. This is the song that features their sing-songy anthem,"dancing on the dance floor; girl, it's you that I adore" etc, that they also performed on De La Soul's "Buddy." The rest of the lyrics are pretty breezy and substance-less (impossible brags about money and girls), the scratches by Sweet Daddy are simple but effective, and the a crazy circus music loop on the hook seals the deal. It dropped in 1988 on Idlers Records, with a few variations of the Instrumental, but... this isn't that single.

This is the 1998 single of "Because I Got It Like That," which came out on Gee Street just after they were making their gritty comeback with album #4, Raw Deluxe, but before they went all house/club music on us. I guess Gee Street weren't quite sure what to do with these guys, so they rereleased their classic single, with a picture cover matching their Raw Deluxe style, and pushed some new, UK remixes. This is a US pressing, however.

The A-side is pretty much exactly what you'd expect. It takes the original elements of "Because I Got It Like That," speeds it up, adds erratic drums and turns it into a club record. Pretty much, the less said about this sort of junk the better, but I will say this. The mix, done by The Freestylers, was very well done, the transitions are smooth and effective, and clearly the guys making this knew what they were doing. The only problem is what they were doing is turning a hip-hop classic into terrible club music. But, if you're ever in a situation where you for some sick reason wanted to turn a hip-hop classic into terrible club music, these guys will do an excellent job.

No, the reason I singled this 12" out for blogging is the B-side remix, by Ultimatum. Now, Ultimatum is essentially The Stereo MCs, plus or minus an associate. And now I know what you're thinking: "Stereo MCs remixing a Jungle Brothers classic ten years after the fact? Pull over and let me out or I'll jump!" Look, I know their track record and was as wary as you... but it's dope!

First of all, it's still hip-hop... they don't turn it into house, electro, club or whatever else. In fact, they keep a lot of the original elements, including Sweet Daddy's scratches, which sound even tighter here. And the elements they add aren't keyboards or studio-made junk, but raw, lush samples. Chunky guitars and drums sound like they're taken off of some lost, 70's funk rock band, and then there's these great, blaring dusty horns on the hook.

Interestingly, this is actually a remix Fatboy Slim got a lot of mileage out of. He's often credited for doing this great remix of "Because I Got It Like That" (seriously, just do a search for "Because I Got It Like That Fatboy Slim"), but really he just played the Ultimatum Mix sped up. That's it. All the other credit goes to Ultimatum, who really created this version.

Now, this 12" also includes the original, Straight Out the Jungle mix, plus the instrumental for The Freestylers' mix. It's the kind of thing you can pick up super cheap because it was over-produced then and is under-appreciated now. 'Cause this looks like just one more in a long line of cheap, repackaged old school 12"s that dropped in the 90's. But there's something surprisingly worthwhile here; so if you miss the JB's in their prime, you'll be glad to slip this in your crates.

Ya Gonna Need a Posse, a Mosse Or More

"All Praises Due To the Outstanding" is the first of only two 12"s released by the underrated Blvd Mosse in 1990. They were a Trenton trio and part of the collective of artists that Tony D was producing on the independent tip. The label is Scorpio Music, "where the artist decides what you hear."

The A-side uses the same, catchy piano break and vocal sample that Rob Base and Rich Nice used for their songs, both called "Outstanding." Rich Nice's was dope, but of course on the house tip. And is this version better than Rob Base's? I hope you don't really need me to answer that! The title might have you thinking this is going to be some 5%er, quasi-religious themed rap, but nah... Outstanding is the name of the MC, and it's all about him. Still he does shout out the Gods and the Earths and ups the importance of innovation and education, disses crack, etc. So it's still a positive song, but without dwelling on the message like you'd expect.

But the winner is the ultra-hype B-side, "Move To Something Funky." Hardcore drums and a familiar, fat-paced bassline (heard in Kid 'N Play's "Energy" amongst other places) merged with sick, squealing horns. You've got fresh cuts on the hook, and Outstanding beings some serious energy to his delivery. This is just one of those moments where all the elements come together perfectly. You've already got a dope crew and the magic of Tony D behind the boards, but all of their stars aligned for this one.

Unfortunately, their two singles on Scorpio were the crew's entire legacy on wax. But we do know there is more material by the Mosse floating around out there. Tony D talked about having some in his vaults in some interviews, and was even planning to release it - two mp3s even made their way onto CocaineBlunts. But with the passing of Tony D, the project never materialized, which is a damn shame. We can only hope that somebody from the crew or another label picks it up again, because one listen to this will have you confirming that two singles is just not enough from Blvd Mosse.

A-Rrested Development On the Wax!

(Youtube version is here.)

Milwaukee's Old School Hip-Hop Scene Excavated on Wax

If you'll recaall, in my recent write-up of Run DMC's "Black History" 12", I promised a look at the label's subsequent releases. Well, since "Black History" (JMR-001), they've released a series of five, limited 7" singles. They're all very rare, sometimes outright previously unreleased tracks, by early artists from Milwaukee's early hip-hop scene. If you've heard of any of them before (and don't feel bad if you haven't), you're either from the area or have gleaned onto an old 12" or two as "random rap." But now they've been made much more accessible with this dope, affordable (no high priced limiteds here; they're all less than $10, and I found two for as cheap as $2 direct from the label).

I'm really not sure just how legit these are, however. "Black History" was clearly a boot, but some of these (especially the ones featuring unreleased tracks) may've had the artist's involvement... maybe? I don't know. The best I could label these is "undetermined," so bear that in mind and on with the show! :)

First up is "Kool is Chillen" by MIDI. It's pressed on red vinyl and limited to 300 hand-numbered copies (mine is #161). It's a repress of a 12" single (on regular, black wax), which actually had a smaller run of 200 copies back in 1987. It's sort of like early Stetsasonic, with Run DMC-styled deliveries, a spacey sample from "Planet Rock" and a lot of energy. The B-side, "Bru City" is interesting... it's slower, with hard deliveries, big drums and hand claps, but atmospheric keytones, like an early West coast record, and even some human beatboxing. Really, this could almost have been a single off of On Fire.

Next up is "Lamont Is the Baddest" by Kid Crab and G.F.C. (that's the Get Flesh Crew to you). Kid Crab was actually the DJ for MIDI (and he's still around today); and he went on to release the original 12" version of this record a couple years after "Kool Is Chllen" with three new guys. This one is limited to 100 copies (mine is #61) and is on plain, black wax. The original 12" was actually three songs; but this repress leaves off a song called "Settin' Him Straight." Despite the two-year difference, this doesn't really sound any more modern, and was surely considered old school-sounding even in 1989. It's got really big synths playing a constant riff over everything, and ultra-deep bass. The rhymes are simple, but the constant cutting (this time by DJ Supreme; Crab is just the MC in this line-up) is fresh, and the hook is great: "Who is the baddest? Lamont is, Lamont is!" ...while the DJ cuts up the LL Cool J vocal sample, "the baddest around!" The B-side, "That's Why I'm Screamin'" is probably better, though the mastering is pretty muddy... The ridiculous synths are replaced with an electric guitar riff, and again the scratches are the best part.

Third we've got, "We Are Two Tone" by, yes, Two Tone, a duo whose schtick is that one is black and the other is white. In keeping with the theme, their are two differently colored pressings, blue and green, limited to 100 (mine is a green #92). Unlike the previous two 7" singles, the music on this one has never before been released. It comes in a "picture cover," which amounts to a single sheet of paper print-out in a plastic sleeve; but hey, it's better than nothing. The A-side is ok, with some more old school beats, more Run DMC-styled shouting and back & forth deliveries, all wrapped up with a corny chorus . But this one's all about the B-side. "Mike T Is Dope" is a super-fresh ode to their DJ Mike T... yes, the same DJ Mike T from Compton's Most Wanted! The MCs come pretty nice, but it's the killer cuts and funky collage of old school samples making up the production that make this one such a killer.

Fourth is "Here's a Little Story" by MC Richie Rich & Scratch, repressing what was previously a cassette-only release. This one of the many "La Di Da Di" clones that have been poured into hip-hop by a million artists who were immediately inspired by the style and flow of MC Ricky D. Or, in this case, Richie Rich may've been even more directly inspired by Dana Dane - a female character even asks him, "where's your kangol and slick silk suit?" It's limited to 100 black copies (mine is #90). Richie's Rich voise is so soft, and the style and lyrics so blatantly derivative (he raps about jumping out of the shower and everything just like "La Di Da Di"), that this song is hard to take seriously. But the B-side is a completely different story. It's a more modern sounding, harder posse cut called "Pull the Trigger." Rich still sounds like he did on the A-side, so that's a little odd, but the others kill it over a dope track. And included on this posse cut? None other than Rock La Flow, who you should remember from Dope Folks' recent EP I covered in my video, The Milwaukee Illmatic!

These records may sound low-budget, or even amateurish; but they're also some enthusasiticly raw hip-hop that's a lot more compelling than their cleaner-sounding major label counterparts. I could see a lot of this material getting dismissed back in the day, but today, it's all fresh and very welcome. The highlights, like "Mike T Is Fresh," are incontrovertibly great and I'd recommend them to any hip-hop head at anytime; but others do require you to be in 80's Rap Appreciation Mode. If you are, though, you're gonna love the whole set to death. So look for 'em on discogs or the Bay, and let's hope we hear more from Jamille Records in 2011.

Oh, and if you're thinking, "Werner, I see four records written up here, but you distinctly mentioned five." Well, stay tuned, the last one's coming in my next video review.

Rebels With a 20-Year Pause

(Youtube version is here.)

Keep On Keepin' On (Test Pressing Hotness)

Now, you may remember me talking about how the demo version of The Outsidaz' single "Keep On" was infinitely greater than the album version. If not, have a refresher. :) But, still, the album version wasn't bad... a fun duet between Pace Won and Young Zee. Yeah, the beat and the rhymes were both superior on the original, but it was still a solid, Rockwilder-produced track. After all, it was chosen to be the lead single in 2000 for their Bricks album, and it features their signature sick wordplay like, "punk, ya gonna make me use the steel and blast ya Coup de Ville - hit the right side up, make ya lose the wheel."

And that single was pretty nice. It came in a sticker cover[upper left], and broke the song down to its various components: Clean, Album, Instrumental and A Capella versions. Plus, it was backed with another decent album track, "Done In the Game," which was also broken down all four versions. And if you happened to live in the UK (where, for some reason, the Outz continued to get a lot of support and promotion from their label, who'd veritably dropped them in the US), they had a fancy picture cover version with an exclusive, Mozart Remix. Produced by some guy named Marcus Saunders, it's, um, okay... It's got sort of a lighter, smoother sound and samples some strings which I presume are sampled from a Mozart piece. Die-hard Outz collectors have it, and the rest of you can sleep easily at nights without it.

But that's not the end of the story...


A test-press only release of "Keep On" remixes! The A-side[as you can see, above] starts out with the Mozart Mix, which is the same as on the UK 12", plus the Instrumental, which is also on the UK one. But the B-side features two more exclusive versions: The Rude Bwoy Mix and the Rugged Mix, both seemingly credited (it's a little hard to be certain with the handwritten label) to DJ Kemo of the Canadian indie rap crew The Rascalz (remember "Northern Touch?").

Both of these mixes keep the raw, noncommercial edges to The Outsidaz sound that the Mozart foolishly smoothed off. The bassline is deep and grabs your attention first, but it's the low-fi reggae-style percussion that really makes the Rude Bwoy Mix click. Meanwhile, the moody, street-themed Rugged Mix sounds like something Kool G Rap would rhyme over in his most criminal mindset, combined with a, well... a Rascalz record. Of all the variant mixes out there, this is the best one... except for the demo mix, which as I said before, was really an entirely different song with different vocals by different Outz members. But for this version, if you're going to listen to this set of verses by Pace and Zee, then the Rugged Mix is the definitive version, topping the album version and the rest.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how many copies of this exist. But if you're an Outsidaz fan and you come across it, you owe it to yourself to pick it up.

InstaRapFlix #34: I'm Still Here

I wasn't going to bother with this film... It was evident the "Joaquin Phoenix is a rapper schtick" was a hoax - and not a very interesting one - even before people knew there was a movie attached to it. But hey, it's streaming for free, so what the heck, just watch I'm Still Here (Netflix rating: 2 1/2 stars) and get it over with.

The rapping and music is terrible, of course (that's half the gag, after all ...I guess). The characters are unlikeable. The conflict is uninteresting. The depiction of reality is unconvincing (perhaps most damning, the acting is bad). The humor is trite. The message is heavy-handed, but... well, okay, the message is sort of interesting at least.

So, okay, you've got two self indulgent celebs (Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck) roping in a bunch of other dopey celebs (Mos Def, Ben Stiller, P Diddy etc) to make a stupid, shallow indictment of how self indulgent celebrity culture is stupid and shallow, and everyone who gets roped into it is a dope. So, they're essentially saying you're wasting your time by watching crap like this... and I have to admit, they have a point.

You know how they say that if you're being trolled on the internet, no matter how you respond, they're winning... because all they're looking for is to get a reaction out of you? So the only way to win is not to play? Well, this movie is a case of celebrities trolling the general public. If you watch it, talk about it, blog about it[d'oh!], or spend time out of your day thinking about it, then you've been trolled.

But what's the rap nerd perspective? That's what we're all here for... Are there any great cameos or clips of interesting hip-hop artists tucked away in here? Not really. Because it's all about celebrity status, the only artist we see performing (besides "JP") is Jamie Foxx leading an audience into a call and response with his and Joaquin's names. Otherwise, all the cameos and appearances are actor buddies, not MCs. So yeah, nothing worthwhile here, even streamed for free.