Saturday, April 1, 2017

Dirty Jersey Week, Day 2: No Foolin'

Whoops!  Did Dirty Jersey Week happen to fall over April 1st, the holiday I always post some silly, crazy rap thing?  Where am I going to find something completely crazy, ridiculous and yet absolutely real from New Jersey?  Oh, don't worry, I've got just the thing!

A lot of you younger folk probably don't remember Joe Piscopo.  He was a New Jersey-born early Saturday Night Live cast member, who went on to have a career mixing stand-up and impressions.  He's also dabbled in movies (Dead Heat with Treat Williams is a lot of fun), and he also did a couple of comedy records.  And these days?  He's preparing to run for mayor to replace Christie (no foolin'!  Hey, he'd have to be an improvement).  Naturally, he also made a couple comedy records.  Like, he would do skits or sing rock & roll songs as Frank Sinatra covers.  He had some big budgets in his prime, so when he would do a Bruce Springsteen cover, he had actual Springsteen band members playing on the record.  If you ask me, though, it's all crap except for one masterpiece.

In 1985, he released "Honeymooners Rap" featuring Eddie Murphy.  It was the lead (and only) single off of his 1985 album, New Jersey.  The concept is pretty simple, they rap with Piscopo doing a Ralph Kramden impression and Murphy doing Ed Norton.  But surprisingly, if you're willing to tolerate a complete silly song, it really works.  And that's thanks largely to the budget and who Piscopo was able to collaborate with again.

Yeah, there's a seriously legit Hip-Hop artist involved who turned this into a real rap song as opposed to the cheap, tin-ear stuff most novelty rap songs are made of: Grandmixer DSt.  Yeah, the guy with The Infinity Rappers who made some of the earliest and best Hip-Hop records of his time, including some big singles like "Crazy Cuts" and most famously "Rockit" with Herbie Hancock.  In fact, this is a very "Rockit" style instrumental, full of busy instrumentation, a leading electronic keyboard riff, big, rudimentary scratches (hey, this was 1985; don't come looking for any reverse crab flares) and heavy, heavy drums.  And it's not just DSt.; if you read the credits, there's a bunch of guys playing synths, horns, drum programming, etc.  In fact, they've got The Uptown Horns on here!

And to Piscopo's credit, A) he does a legitimately good Kramden impression (Murphy's Norton not so much, but it works well enough for the song), and B) really took his time writing the lyrics.  Each verse details the plot of an actual Honeymooners episode, as told first person by Kramden and Norton.  Like, they didn't knock this out in five minutes.  Somebody sat with tapes of old episodes, found the jokes and the sources of the most famous references, and then made a really complex Hip-Hop instrumental for it.  I mean, I remember as a little kid genuinely, non-ironically like this song, and I have to say, if you appreciate 1985-era Hip-Hop, it still holds up.

Now, this 12" was featured on a lot of compilations (where I first heard it), including Laff Attack: Rappin' and Goofin' and Rapmasters 7: The Best of the Laughs.  Curiously, they don't credit Piscopo at all, and list the artist as Lost Episodes.  I've listened to them all thoroughly, and we're not talking about two different "Honeymooners Raps" here.  One isn't a knock-off or a cover.  And the Piscopo album and single never ever makes a reference to "Lost Episodes" in their liner notes, so I have no idea what that's about.  Are the compilations somehow avoiding cutting Piscopo and Murphy a check by listing a fake name?  I mean, those Rapmasters tapes were broad, nationwide releases on a major label.  That sounds like the kind of trick a little white label would pull.  And you'd think those albums would sell a lot more copies if they could've had Eddie Murphy's name on the cover in the 80s, so it's not like they'd want to obscure the real credits.  It's very strange; I'd love to know the story behind that someday.

Finally, I have talk about the 12" specifically.  It's on CBS/ Columbia Records, and as you see comes in a pretty unexciting picture cover.  It's worth noting that the 12" puts Eddie Murphy's name right up front, when he isn't even credited on the New Jersey album.  But most importantly about the 12" is the Captain Video Version.  There's also an Album Version, which like its name implies, is the one on the album; and all the compilations feature the Album Version.  So does the 45".  But the Captain Video Version is an extended version with an all new verse, based on another Honeymooners episode (where Ed and Ralph buy a TV together and yes, Norton becomes Captain Video), plus an extended breakdown with some new cuts and instrumentation.  There's also a King Of the Castle Version, which is essentially just a dub mix, but Piscopo and Murphy improvise a little extra dialogue at the end that's only on that version.  So if you do appreciate this nutty song, you'll definitely want to track down the 12".

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