They Can't Control Their... Split Personality

Last summer, UK hip-hop trio Rhyme Asylum dropped their second album, Solitary Confinement, to some positive reception. Unfortunately, like most albums these days, it was released on CD and mp3 only. So vinylism (sort of a German Sandbox or HipHopSite, except they didn't bail out on vinyl) got together with the group, picked their favorite eight (out of eighteen) tracks, and pressed up this EP, The Overdose.

It's labeled a limited edition, but I find any reference to just how many copies it's limited to; and it's also priced like a standard modern release; not one of those high-priced collectors editions we've been seeing. it comes in a very cool picture cover and features a couple guests (Crooked I, Reain, DarkStar and Ill Bill) who do a good job of blending into their aural surroundings. But you're probably thinking, "yeah, but Werner; I've never heard of these guys. What's this like; is it any good?"

Alright, well, in general they've got a really nice underground but lush sound. Lyrically, Rhyme Asylum seem to come in two modes (albeit in varying degrees). They're either spitting creative, hardcore backpacker-type rhymes - just dancing on the line of falling into "horrorcore" - which is where they excel. They mix clever hip-hop wordplay with vivid imagery... that kind of shit groups like Atoms Family or Virtuoso kicked in their best, early days:

"I keep my eyes peeled with hunting knives;
My voice alone provokes stone gargoyles to come to life.
Gave nightmares spittin' Lucifer lullabies;
Tried it a hundred times but can't seem to fucking die.
Run and hide when disaster strikes."

...Or they're kicking these kind of sappy, motivational, "yay, America [or England, I suppose, in this case], we can do it!" pep rally lyrics:

"Let 'em know you've got no reason to fail;
No one's gonna believe in you until you believe in yourself.
(Believe that!) We all hope for a little bit of luck.
People told me I suck but I didn't give a fuck."

And musically, they've got the same dichotomy going. On the one hand, they've got some fresh scratch hooks (their DJ comes nice with his when they utilize him, but that isn't nearly enough). And on the other, they go for that shouting Rah Rah kind of upbeat anthem vibe. And the samples switch from dark and moody to pop rock guitars and smashing cymbals. One step farther and they might've had ICP's "Homies" on their hands!

But like I said, it's in varying degrees... most songs sit somewhere between the two poles I just described, with more generic, middle-ground hip-hop rhymes where they're mixing the dark images ("Valkyries clean up after my dogs of war... Lucifer's rejects; shoulders are stumps where I used to have three heads") and the self esteem boosters ("don't let anyone tell you you're chasing an impossible dream") into more traditional hip-hop braggadocio ("this is hip-hop music's inner vision, bringing you back to pure facts fused with super lyricism"). And instrumentally, too, you're left with mixed results like "Event Horizon," where there's some tight rhymes over a great, atmospheric beat (think Sunz of Man before they let their label try to push them into the mainstream), but spoiled by a cheesy chorus.

So, at the end of the day, they're hot when they're at their best. You're definitely missing out if you don't check for songs like "Open Mic Surgery." But most are mixed bags, where just as one element starts drawing you in, another comes along to turn you off again. And one or two songs, while still displaying some quality production, could really have been left out all together. Ultimately, I recommend picking up this EP; there's a lot of talent and earnest craftsmanship on display... and best of all, some sick rhymes. But I don't imagine anyone needs to go so far as to pick up Solitary Confinement for the extra songs on CD or anything so overboard as that.

Spoonie Gee vs. Busy Bee

(Youtube version is here.)

Hey-Ya, Hey-Ya, Can I Get Some?

On its twentieth anniversary, collectors are finally able to cross one of random rap's most elusive, sough-after records off their wants list. ...That is, if they're willing to settle for a repress. The legendary Warpath EP by Courageous Chief has just been repressed - and remastered - by Dope Folks Records.

Originally released on Tirade Records in 1991, Warpath is a bit of a "grower." Initially, certainly, you'll dig and respect it, but you'll probably think, "Eh, unless I stumble upon it for cheap; I can probably live without it." It's only until you've had a chance to sleep on it a while and reflect that you'll realize, "damn, I've got to add this to my wants list, too!" That's because the moments that immediately jump out at you - the pre-Wu-Tang use of some old, dubbed kung-fu movie for the hook of "Russian Roulette" or the sheer audacity of turning the "hey-ya, hey-ya"s from Slick Rick's crabs with spears and Indian drums ("An Adult Story") into a chorus - tend to overshadow the EP's actual best moments. Songs like "No Feedback" with Chief just spitting hard over a tough mix of "Nautilus" and "UFO," or the hyper percussion underlying his non-stop flow on "Verbal Surgery."

But unless you were prepared to spend, oh, $500-800 bucks for it on that rare occasion it popped up on the 'Bay, Warpath was going to be a permanent resident on your list. Until now. Dope Folks has issued a limited (300 copies) run of this, which, as always, is available through their website, dopefolksrecords.com. They upgraded it to a nice sticker cover (the original just came in a generic sleeve), and they've remastered it. Now, I can't compare this to the original, because like most everybody else, I've only ever had a rip of this; but I can say this pressing sounds excellent.

My only disappointment is that, after discovering that Chief has tons of vintage, unreleased tracks and that those DATs are well-preserved and freely available, this EP contains no exclusive bonus songs. This is the first time Dope Folks has issued a record without at least one previously unreleased song on it. So when this was first announced, I was really hoping we'd get a couple bonus treats tacked onto the end, but no; this release only represses the original EP tracks. Dope Folks has said, though, that they're aware of Chief's unreleased vaulted music, and that it's a possibility for a future release.

So yeah, this is a traditional "holy grail" of random rap, a real standard. But actually, Chief isn't quite so "random" as you may think. Most know him as a NJ (hold it down!) one-hit wonder with this rare but highly praised, sole release... but he's actually stayed in the game pretty consistently. And besides recording albums worth of unreleased DATs, Chief has also worked steadily as a Wu-affiliate under the name Popa Chief. Down with Brooklyn Zu (he's on multiple tracks off their Chamber #9 album), the Zu Ninjaz and producing for guys like Popa Wu and ODB. He's also out out a couple indie CDs in the 2000s, and he's got a bunch of recent mp3s and youtube videos on his website, popachief.com. So check it. He's even talked of recording a Warpath II.

Future Soon To Be Left Behind

Future Left Behind is the upcoming album from Shawn Lov. It's on NuffSaid Recordings, the Australian label that put out his last two albums; but make no mistake -Shawn Lov's an OG New Jersey MC. He's been quietly putting out albums since 1994, but he really started appearing on peoples' radars when he teamed up with Tony D (R.I.P.) and dropped a couple records on Cha-Ching. Hell, if nothing else, you should remember him from the interviews I did with him back in November. And so this is his new album... it's not out yet, but he hit me up with a finished copy, including artwork and everything, so it should be just around the corner.

And how is it? It's dope; I dig it. It's produced by a roster of international heads who manage to give Shawn a surprisingly consistent backdrop... boom bap but with a clean, almost lush vibe. 100% headnodders. The majority are handled by Prowla, a resident NuffSaid producer, but you've also got producers from Germany, Holland... and yes, New Jersey. Custodian of Records provides three songs with a slightly rawer edge, including the album's two stand out bangers: "The Problems" and "Rare Grooves," a high energy duet with Sadat X.

This is a Shawn Lov album, so clever punch-lines and battle raps are a given; but the overall tone here is "battle rapper grown up." Whether remembering conversations with Tony D on "Future Left Behind," or just the fading of the culture on "[1-14] Be True:"

"Now I'm watching college boys grab the mic and try to handle it;
They culture-fuck hip-hop, 'cause they don't understand this shit.
You ain't the first geek with a win-streak;
When that track ends, it's still too hard for you to make black friends.
'Cause he ain't really in like, say, a Mike D or Eminem;
So it's impossible to see the music through that lens.
And I grew up with Brand Nubian, Wise and Brother J in my ear;
Took the time to learn the way we got here.
And you grew up to P Diddy and all that shit,
And threw a frat parry, 'cause to you that's all rap is.
A far cry from the soul of an '88 cipher."

Shawn even manages to sneak in an ode to his love of vintage video games without making it sound jokey or gimmicky. Yeah, if you didn't know, Shawn Lov runs a classic arcade in Burlington, NJ called High Scores. In fact, I've got a fun bonus video, never-before-seen 'till now, I did talking to Shawn a bit about gaming. And if you're interested in Future Left Behind snippets, the intros to each of my video interviews with Shawn (one, two, three plus the one below) features music from a different album cut. :) So now, without further adieu:

(And I got a Youtube version here, too, if you prefer.)

Make This One Count

This one is really flying under the radar, but you don't want to miss out. Apparently with zero fanfare at all, Neila has released her latest album, Only This One Counts. It's a full-length album, on vinyl only, pressed on marbled red and hot pink vinyl, and as you see, comes in a picture cover with her own artwork. Neila's been selling them herself through her facebook account for $12, and now a couple online stores (like accesshiphop) have been getting some copies in stock.

So how is it? I'm happy to say it's dope, and definitely better than her last album, which was still good. There, for me at least, the production just didn't quite click with Neila's voice and flow. Here, it definitely does. It's entirely handled by one guy named Rezult, who I don't think I've ever heard of before, and he has no credits on discogs. But whoever he is, he does a great job providing a consistent, vibrant sound, and one that meshes perfectly with Neila. It's moody and dramatic and sets up Neila's personal, heartfelt lyrics (all handwritten on the back cover, by the way) perfectly.

There aren't any guests on this album, except for DJs Handprints and Skid, who provide some nice cuts on a few of the songs. Otherwise, it's all just Neila and Rezult doing their thing, giving this album a much more personal vibe than her others. And it's made all the more personal, when you know the story behind it. Like I said, Neila's putting this one out herself, and in this message to her fans, she explains the situation, ""PLEASE SUPPORT MY ALBUM TO HELP PAY FOR HOSPITAL BILLS AND RENT! I have vocal chord cancer, things are looking good, this is the LAST ALBUM with my real voice..."

So it's kind of a special release, though hopefully "last album with my real voice" doesn't equal "last album ever." But she sounds good here, coming with a really cool album in all aspects, and the presentation is first class. So while you may have to do a little work to secure a copy, I think this is no Neila fan will want to have passed up.

Extra Odd Years

Guess what arrived in the mail today... Buck 65's new album 20 Odd Years! ...Wait a minute, didn't I already receive and review 20 Odd Years back in October? Yes, well, this, I guess, is 20 Odd Years 1.2... 20 Odd Years was released as a series of three EPs (originally there was meant to be four, but one fell through), on 7" vinyl, mp3 and CD/DVD. That must've done pretty well, because now there's this new release (also available through buck65.com) on LP and CD. It's got a nice picture cover and a slightly different track-listing. So, let's break it down:

First, the missing songs:

1) Red-Eyed Son (w/ Coral Osborne) from EP #1 - This was a good song; I'm sorry to see it go.

2) The Niceness (w/ Colin Linden) from EP #2 - Frankly, I'm happy to see this one go. I mean, while the collector in me would like to see every song ever included, the whole album feels more mature with this silly number axed.

3) Tears In Space (w/ Meaghan Smith) also from EP #2 -This was okay, but no great loss.

And that's it for the missing songs (you can read more about them in my original review of the EP releases). If you've noticed, that means EPs 1 and 2 have exclusive songs, but #3 does not. So if you're considering picking up the EPs (they're still available as of this writing) in conjunction with the LP, #3 is the least essential, as it has nothing that isn't already on the album.

Now the new songs:

1) Whispers Of the Waves (w/ Gord Downie) - I could do without the guy (I guess that's Gord) singing the hook; but it's not terrible. Buck's flow over the rhythm bass is cool, though, and the scratches are a nice touch. Definitely a winner.

2) Stop (w/ Hannah Georgas) - The upbeat instrumentation is a nice change, but it feels more like a Hannah Georgas record featuring Buck than the other way around. Buck only has two short, unimpressive verses (over a lame beat) shoehorned into what's otherwise some kind of indie rock song. Feels like watching MTV, which I'd rather not do if I can avoid it.

3) Tears Of Your Heart (w/ Olivia Rulz) - Like the past EPs, forcing practically every song into a collaboration hurts this project. The girl sings something in French on the chorus, and, except for the breakdown, she doesn't sound like she belongs on the song. Buck comes with it, though, and I like the instrumental manages to have a live garage band feel while still maintaining a hip-hop nature. I like it, but a shorter version without the long, self-indulgent instrumental stretches and the excessive hook would've worked even better.

4) She Said Yes - Kind of boring and lifeless... I kept thinking, "when is this extended intro going to end and the song proper going to kick in?" But it just goes on until it ends, sort of a slow spoken-word bit over subdued keyboards and weak percussion.

So, overall, it's a nice package and a decent, if still uneven album. At first I felt a but like we'd been duped - we weren't told all these songs would be released as a proper LP back when the EPs were being sold, so we couldn't make the informed decision to hold out for this album. And it's frustrating that the absolute worst song from the EPs ("Who By Fire") was carried over, while one of the best ones ("Red-Eyed Son") was not. I wish it wasn't too late to trade them, but oh well. Forced to call it, I think the LP is slightly better than the EPs, but it's pretty close (the bulk of the songs are the same, after all), and my fellow completists will need both anyway. So, yeah, it's a good album - not Buck's best; but has some really strong moments. It's just unfortunate that we've bought most of them before.

But now, with the LP in my hot little hands, I'm a little feeling better about the whole thing. After all, getting four new songs... in a way, it's almost like getting the fourth EP that never materialized. And this one's on 12" with a nice picture cover. It just so happens to also include a bunch of the older songs from the past EP over again. It's hard to get too excited about an album I pretty much bought already four months ago; but it's nice to finally score that last EP. But, like the other EPs, it's just okay, and brought down by all these misfit guests. If you heard the last few EPs, this is more of the same. Hopefully Buck has worked all the cross-genre collaborations out of his system, and the next Buck 65 album will feature Buck 65 on at least 75% of the vocals and production.

Press Rewind If They Haven't Blown Your Psyche

That link I mention is: delinquentsoundz.com
(Youtube version, dependably, is here.)

Black History

For Black History Month, I thought I'd look at a cool piece of black history called "Black History" about... Black History Month. Back in the 80's, Johnson & Johnson gave away a free cassette single with jeri curl kits. It was an exclusive song by Run DMC called "Black History" b/w "Famous Firsts" by Kurtis Blow. Until recently, it had only existed on that ultra-rare cassette, but around the end of 2009 or so, it was pressed onto this nice piece of vinyl. Now, clearly, it's a bootleg. There's no way Profile (Or Johnson & Johnson) issued this. But since I also can't see them ever digging this out of their vaults and giving it a proper, official 12", it's hard not to recommend this.

"Black History" is an epic (over 10 minutes long) ode to black history.They kick literally dozens of short verses about important black historical figures. It's really rudimentary old school stuff, with beat-box beats, handclaps, and a simplistic but funky bassline. Run and DMC have constant interplay throughout their verses, essentially each MC taking every other line, with the key, dramatic lines shouted in unison. It injects a lot of energy that keeps things from getting dull or plodding. The lyrics are pretty simple, but this predates anything like "You Must Learn" by years and you there aren't many rap records by legit artists that are as flat-out educational as this one:

"There was another great man from ancient Africa."
"Earned his name as a warrior."
"Great military strategy was the key"
"To this army commander's victory."
"Hannibal of Carthage led the way."
"Hannibal of Carthage was his name!"
"Yeah, Hannibal of Carthage was his name."

"In a hot July evening of 1893,"
"A black doctor performed historic surgery."
"The person had a knife-wound in his heart;"
"And the doctor knew it was a shot in the dark."
"But he went ahead and opened his chest;"
"And the operation WAS A BIG SUCCESS!"
"Dr. Daniel Hale Williams was his name;"
"And open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."
"You say open-heart surgery was his claim to fame?"
"Yeah, open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."

...That's pretty much how they all go, with the name finally revealed at the end of each verse. To spice things up, they keep going back to a lively hook ("Black! Black! Black! Black history!") and they have some other random voices appear throughout... sometimes girls pop in to sing a bit and sometimes somebody does a silly impression of a voice referred to in a verse. There's even a human beatbox breakdown about midway through the record. Finally, it ends with them kicking a rap about the importance of knowing your roots, and somebody plays some funky, spacey keyboards.

But the B-side to this 12" isn't "Famous Firsts." Instead it's another Run DMC rarity seeing its first time on vinyl, "Slow and Low." As you'll recall, "Slow and Low" was an early hit record by The Beastie Boys in 1985, but it was originally recorded, though never released, by Run DMC. They wound up giving it to The Beasties, and the original version was shelved. The Run DMC version uses the same beat, rhymes (except for a few lines where they mention themselves) and hook, though it's a little slower and Run DMC's delivery is naturally not quite as frantic. Now, this 12" isn't the first time it's been heard; it saw an official release (finally) in a five-disc Run DMC compilation album called Original Album Classics. But it's never been available on vinyl before this 12".

Finally, there's an uncredited third bonus track. It's a short mega-mix of Run DMC songs, and a nice scratch tribute to Jam Master Jay. Unlike the other two songs, this is new (though, of course, mixing old records), made by the DJ who pressed this 12".

So, yeah those are the songs, but you all want to know how the sound quality is, right? Well, thankfully, it's pretty good. Obviously "Black History" has been taken from the cassette and not the original masters, but some effort seems to have been put into making this sound as clean as possible, and the pressing is solid and can handle substantial volume. The B-side sounds even slightly better, as it was surely taken from a CD source. So short of Rick Rubin pulling some reels out of his closet and pressing up a top-notch official pressing (don't hold your breath), this is as good as you're gonna get, and it's really pretty good.

The presentation is nice, too. It comes in a sticker cover and is pressed on clear vinyl. The label itself is blank, except for a handwritten number, as this is a limited, numbered run of 200 copies (mine's #117). I mean, I don't know how much value collectors put in a numbered, limited edition of a bootleg; but still, it's kinda cool. Short of, you know, actually paying the artists and licensing the music legally, the label that pressed this up* did it just the way you'd hope they would, a quality preservation of an important piece of hip-hop - and black - history.


*Jamille Records, a label that's gone on to specialize in rare and unreleased old school rap from Milwaukee. You can expect a post on them in the coming weeks. 8)

Puff Daddy & the Tuff Crew

You probably weren't expecting a Puff Daddy record to pop up on this blog, were you? But hey, two verses by Biggie and Busta Rhymes on a hook over a track lifted from the Tuff Crew? Even I would have to call you a "hater" if you couldn't appreciate that.

This is "Victory," more specifically credited to Puff Daddy & the Family, dropped on Bad Boy Entertainment in 1998 (from the '97 album, No Way Out). It's produced by one of Bad Boy's regular "Hit Men," Stevie J. But like I said, it's a big shameless lift from the Tuff Crew. The Tuff Crew started out their second (or third, if you wanna count Phanjam) album with an epic sounding instrumental to signal their triumphant return. They called it "Going the Distance," because the bulk of the instrumentation is taken from the soundtrack to Rocky, specifically a track called "Going the Distance."

Now, you might say, okay Werner, granted the Tuff Crew sampled it first, but lots of great rap songs have sampled the same records over the years. Or, to quote GURU, "rap is an art, you can't own no loops." But these guys didn't just coincidentally use the same song as a sample source, they both used it the same way, rather boldly playing the whole first minute of it through rather than a standard short loop, but still chop it at the same point. But even more importantly, Stevie J paired it up with essentially the same drums that the Tuff Crew did. He removed the handclaps (after all, this wasn't 1989 anymore), but otherwise he completely just lifted Tuff Crew's track and played it whole for Puff.

But I'm not mad at that. First of all, because the hypothetical naysayer above would be right in pointing out that lots of great songs got to samples second (or third or twenty-eighth), and that doesn't make them any less dope. And secondly because Tuff Crew underutilized it, making it an introductory instrumental, whereas Bad Boy turned it onto a proper song with vocals. And finally, because on some mixes (more on that in a sec) Stevie J does add a few extra elements, most notably some operatic female vocal sounds, that enhance the experience even more.

By the way, a quick aside while I'm on the subject... this record credits the wrong sample in the liner notes [see the label scan above]! It says it uses Bill Conti (he's the guy who did the Rocky music)'s "Alone In the Ring." But that's wrong,they're using "Going the Distance!" "Alone In the Ring" is a very subdued piano solo that sounds nothing like "Going the Distance" and doesn't appear even momentarily in the background of "Victory." It's all "Going the Distance."

Now, there's a couple mixes here, but they're essentially minor variations than whole-hog remixes. There is no version that doesn't feature the same "Going the Distance" music or the same verses by Puff and Biggie. The mixes only vary by about 20 seconds in length. And the radio edits also remove Puff shouting ad-libs through a loud-speaker-like distorted mic effect ("it's all fucked up now!"), which was pretty annoying anyway, so that's no great loss. The most distinguishing characteristic is that only the Drama mixes feature the opera chick.

An interesting aspect to the censored versions, by the way... while they just silence every curse word from the raps, rendering them pretty unlistenable, it's worth noting that the chorus has been completely redone. Busta energetically curses up a storm on the original, and I guess that was just too much to cut out for the clean versions, so he re-does it, saying things like "we've got a real live hit" and "where my soldiers at?" instead of "we've got the real live shit" and "where my niggas at? where the funk my bitches is at?"

There are actually multiple US 12" singles for "Victory" (four, by discogs' count), but if you ask me, this is the ideal one. The only thing it's missing is Nine Inch Nails' remix that's featured on a couple versions. But that remix is just a noisy, unappealing sonic mess, so you're not missing anything there. As far as I'm concerned, the non-Radio versiono of the Drama Mix is the definitive version, as it features all the elements, and that's on here. Plus, this 12" also includes the Instrumental, which is absent from most of the others.

One more thing, and then I'm out. All of the mixes - even the non-Radio mixes full of cursing - censor Biggie's line where he refers to himself as "the Son of Satan." Unfortunately, however, I believe this stupid edit persists on every 12" version of this single. And it's that way on No Way Out, too, so don't blame the singles. You know the one place where it's left intact? The Nine Inch Nails Remix. Fucking Hell, there's just no winning with "Victory."

InstaRapFlix #33: Tupac: Uncensored and Uncut: The Lost Prison Tapes

Here's one that doesn't suck! Ha ha That feels like a relief to say considering how many InstaRapFlix entries have been pure dreck. I try to check for the rarest and most overlooked, obscure hip-hop films, and I wind up discovering that they're not rare or passed over enough! And this one could've easily been the same... How many bajillion caash-in 2Pac releases have their been since the man died? Countless. And, in all honestly, this is sort of a cheap cash-in, too. But that's okay, because it's actually pretty good. So Tupac: Uncensored and Uncut: The Lost Prison Tapes (Netflix rating 3 stars) gets a pass.

So, what've we got here? Well, the title (a title with 2 subtitles separated by colons seems a little out of control, by the way, but we'll let that go) is a little misleading. I mean, it is 2Pac, and he is in prison. But the title suggests these are some kind of important tapes 2Pac somehow managed to record while in prison... like a mini self-doc or a secret message covered up by the FBI. I mean, you'd have to be pretty naive if you thought you're gonna wind up solving 2Pac's murder by picking up this DVD at Walmart; but nonetheless, this title definitely suggests and promises (but does not deliver) more than a single, sit-down interview of 'Pac promoting his latest album to some random journalist. And I don't know what could be "lost" about this prison tape, except that maybe the journalist put it in his closet and forgot about it until 2Pac died and became more marketable.

But it certainly is uncut, however. When a poster falls over, we watch as they stop, turn around, and stand it back up. When the cameraman zooms in to find focus, that's left in the film for us to see. There is really zero editing whatsoever except to put little title graphics at the beginning and end. This is just a single the interview tape uploaded directly into the computer from the camera, unaltered.

Wait a minute... I said this was good, though, didn't I? Yet I'm making it sound almost as bad as Lil Jon: Uncensored. But here's the thing: in this age where every rap interview is a repetitive, minuscule soundbite, this is actually a straight-up, unfiltered interview without a million cuts, computer effects, and all the substance removed. If you want to hear 2Pac speak for himself, at reasonable length and be able to make your own judgements, then here it is. Where most of these low-budget rap DVDs are a lot of bullshit trying desperately to cover up the fact that they have no substance (for example, see Trick Daddy: Thug Holiday Uncut, this is a DVD with just the substance. How refreshing. :)

Now that it's amazingly deep. When the interviewer keeps asking him about 'Pac's Thug Life ethos versus crime and community standards, 'Pac acquits himself reasonably well (though when he says he fails to see how he glamorized thug life, I couldn't decide if he was being deliberately obtuse or borderline retarded), but ultimately we're just left with the sense of folly in asking a musician about weighty issues that are clearly outside of his expertise. The whole interview is only forty-minutes (what, you expected feature-length?), and a lot of the time is devoted to stating the obvious - 'he loves his fans and thinks they shouldn't shoot people and generally do what they can to avoid going to prison' sums up the majority of it. Finally, it ends with him rapping along to a walkman of his latest song "Can U Get Away," which wouldn't've even been an exciting preview back in 1995 when it was filmed, because Me Against the World was already out.

Still, 'Pac is engaged, and has thoughtful answers to every question. Personally, I would've liked some more questions about his music; and it feels like a missed opportunity to find out some new info about him as opposed to rehashing his generic talking points (the interviewer actually asks him if he feels sorrow for mothers who lost their sons to violence... is there anyone on Earth who would actually have to hear his answer to that to know what it would be?), but maybe that's just me. It's certainly worth watching as a free instant viewing if you care at all about 2Pac. But don't go overboard and buy this DVD unless you're a die-hard fan who has his posters covering all four walls of your room, because I doubt you're going to want to revisit this multiple times. It's a good interview, not a great film.

InstaRapFlix #32: Lil Jon Unauthorized

Have you ever used the program PowerPoint for work or something? Have you ever stayed up all night making a PowerPoint presentation and felt so proud of it the next day that you felt you just had to press it onto a DVD and market it commercially? Well, apparently somebody has! And if you're bored enough, you can even stream it on Netflix.

I'm talking about Lil Jon: Unauthorized (Netflix Rating, surprisingly: 2 1/2 stars). This is... I have no words. This only barely, technically qualifies as a film. First of all, it's not feature length, clocking in at less than an hour. And then... only about 10% of that time is made up of actual video footage. It's all still photos being slowly narrated by some guy who takes painfully long pauses between every other word to pad the running time. What's more, I'm sure all these photos are just lifted off of Google images... some even have tags on them from other websites still on them! And they're all photos you've seen before and they're often squashed into the wrong aspect ratio or heavily pixelated, because they've been amateurishly resized to fill the widescreen frame. Other times, only a fraction of the frame is filled and we're stuck looking at a tiny picture floating in an empty, black sea. When the narrator says Lil Jon's father was a welder, they don't have any pictures of his father, so they just show generic industrial pictures of men welding stuff. Oh, and the pictures recycle; so you'll see the same ones again and again.

Want to hear some Lil Jon music? Not here! These guys mean it when they say "unauthorized." And what little video footage there is? That 10% I mentioned? Well, there's two varieties. One is low-quality clips of his music videos (again, without his music), which must've been taken from Youtube... back in the early days when they were all tiny, compressed messes. What's more, the video clips are so short, they actually just loop... you'll see the same five seconds of footage replay four, five times in a row sometimes. Then the other kind of footage are these goofy interviews with a couple unidentified guys shot on the street somewhere. All together, they add up to less than two minutes of footage, and just offer inane comments like, "he's like the BeeGee's of 2000."

Then sometimes the narration just stops. You'll go a minute or two just looking at random Lil Jon images waiting for the narrator to come back and say something. And it gets sparser and sparser as the film goes on, until you're almost watching a silent montage of old photos. What's more, the narrator has an odd habit of speaking for the artist, saying things like, "working with Jay-Z was a big honor for Lil Jon." Like, huh? Is that your opinion?

But, no, it gets worse! Soon, the footage starts repeating! The guy who called Lil Jon the BeeGees of 2000? They play that same clip again around the 40 minute mark. And it's like that with everything. All the footage from the first half of the film comes back in the second. Silent, 5-second long music video clips filling just 1/5th of the screen just looping without their sound... it's fucking insane that this was released commercially! The narrator complete abandons the film about halfway through (literally, he's gone at around the 30 minute mark), and we just watch the same, low-quality photos repeat over and over again. Eventually, they start showing the same photos with flashing dots behind them.

Finally, at the 58 minute mark, the closing credits pop up and people actually put their names to this disaster, although I think (wisely) most of them are pseudonyms. Some guys just put their first names, like "INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED BY GABE." Oh, and they misspell the word narration, saying, "NARRIATION BY." And one last bit of sadness, just to bring the whole thing home... the final minute, actually over sixty seconds, is just static black screen. That's how desperate they were to pad this out to an hour (which they only make if you round up).

Here's something new for InstaRapFlix... a challenge! I defy any of you who have Netflix to watch this all the way through, from beginning to end, without getting up and walking away from the screen or fast-forwarding! And no reading a book or texting... just sit and watch the film while doing nothing else. It'll be like a vision quest; if you make through the ordeal, you'll automatically become a tribal elder.