Rap Scholar

Das EFX dreamed up the concept... Deadly Venoms bit it... but I have made it a reality!


Yep, those are actual, legit college credits from a fully accredited, non-fly-by-night college. In Rap/Hip Hop Music.
...Once I found out it was possible, how could I not do it? ;)

The First Hot Release of 2012

The music world may be going digital - or, really, it may've gone fully digital years ago - but hip-hop hasn't run out of good vinyl projects yet. It's just the beginning of January, and there's already a hot new release. Specifically, Grand Invincible are back with a new single called "Winter 365" on Revelation Records, a long-standing punk label dropping their first venture into the hip-hop genre.

"Winter 365" has a tight, atmospheric groove with some really nice vocal samples cut up into the hook - very Premierish. All in all, it's a perfect landscape for Luke Sick to kick the kind of Bukowski-inspired raps only he can: "Scaredy-cat MCs, they get no dap. Scared to come to the dives, thinkin' they ain't that. I can drink a shot of Jameson and not even flinch. Got a street crowd open so you know its intent. And if you be where I be, then you know it's intense. No tellin' 'bout tomorrow, so we don't make sense. Told a true-ass story, but forgot how it went."

The B-side is a posse cut featuring Agentstriknine, Eddie K, and of course Z-Man. The beat is good, but not as good as the A-side, and the verses are a little all over the place. No one manages to share the spotlight with our host, who steals his own show. That's a little disappointing in Z-Man's case... I hope he isn't mellowing out on us in 2012.

As you can see above, this is pressed on orange vinyl and comes in a pretty great picture cover. It is a 7" rather than a proper 12", but at just $5, you really can't argue about the value. It's limited to 300 copies, and can be ordered directly from the label here.

The Wizard

Up until a couple months ago, all I knew about The Wizard of Rap is that his 12" was on a couple hardcore collectors' wants lists and he was known for sounding like Rakim. So, when Dope Folks announced that "Escape From East New York" was their next release, they had my attention. Finally, I'd be able to hear just how good this record is. So I listened to their clips and, oh shit! I couldn't order it fast enough!

Of course, it was a pre-order, so I had to wait. But now it's here and wow! It's even better than the sound-clips had me expecting. It's amazing what hip-hop managed to get lost in the sands of time and relegated to the infamous "random rap" category.

"Escape From East New York" is a four-song (or three songs and a remix, strictly speaking) 12" that was originally released in 1989 on Renegade Records. Apparently, only 100 were pressed, which is why I never saw one of these pass by before. If it ever did show up on the 'Bay, you can bet it'll come with the label "Holy Grail" and a price tag starting in the triple digits.

So, I said this guy kinda sounds like Rakim, right? Well, not only does his voice and flow sound similar enough to Rakim that you could fool some serious Rakim fans, but it sounds like Rakim at his peak. You could put this on his greatest hits album - it's better than a lot of his singles, and I'm not talking his post-Eric B days. I mean, it doesn't top his very best singles... "Microphone Fiend" remains untouchable, and "Follow the Leader," etc etc. But it beats out some of their singles, for sure.

This single works because Ra... uhh, The Wizard is on fire, for one thing. He's coming fast and furious with a real "take no prisoners" flow. But beyond that, it's a total package. The beats are hard... fast but still dark, taking samples you won't recognize from other hop-hop records, mixed with a few familiar elements, and twisting them into tracks that could have been straight up hip-hop classics if they'd gotten the right attention at the time.

Oh, and did I mention the scratching? Jay Swift kills it, especially for 1989 - he could challenge DMC champions with the kinds of cuts he has on here. Like I said, total package. Both mixes of "Escape From New York" and "Murder By Death" are "Jack the Ripper" steez. The other song, "Excuses," is good too; just not as good. You could put the others on the greatest hits album, and "Excuses" would just be a nice little album track you could tuck away on Let the Rhythm Hit 'Em or something. Certainly a respectable outing and an enjoyable cut, but not the one to get you amped.

As usual, Dope Folks has pressed up 300 copies and is selling them for $20. There's nothing "new" here, either in the sense of newly recorded music or unreleased vintage stuff - but it does carry over everything from the original record, and considering there's only 100 of these on Earth, I think it's a more than justified repress. Unless you happen to have one of those on Renegade, this is a must-have. Dope Folks always releases really good stuff, but this is top tier even compared to the rest of their catalog. If it sounds like I'm gushing, you haven't spun this wax yet.

The Return of Hot Chillin'

Back in 2007, the early days of the "limited" game, a new record label entered the scene, run by none other than the man himself, Marley Marl. One of the greatest, if not the greatest, hip-hop producers of all time releasing unreleased Juice Crew classics restored from the original masters from his very own vaults? There's no reason to ask questions - anything Hot Chillin' puts out is an immediate essential.

Like with 2009's Juice Crew EP, though, Hot Chillin' is more of an imprint than the actual label doing the releasing. It's still a never-before released, vintage Juice Crew hit directly from Marley's vaults, but this time the pressing, distribution etc are being handled by a new partner, Roots Forward Records, marking their first release. And for a beginning label, you can't ask for a better first release than a cracking, unreleased Craig G song from 1987.

But is it vintage? Other sites covering this 7" are playing it safe and just skating entirely around this issue, but fuck it; I'm going to tackle it. It's been brought up by multiple heads that this song "sounds too new" to be legit (remember Top Shelf 8/8/88?). Of course in many ways it sounds old - his flow is straight out of "The Symphony" rather than anything he's kicking nowadays. And the drums (more on them later) are classic Marley alright - right down tot he fact that he's used them before. And Marley has 'fessed up to reusing drums on multiple records that did get released, so it's hardly unlikely that you'd hear the same break in an unreleased joint from his vaults. If it's newly recorded, it was definitely meant to fool us.

But the argument is that it sounds "too clean," too "glossy" to be 25 years old, and to be honest it really kinda does. I mean, you gotta remember, 1987 would put this right after "Oh! Veronica" and "Transformer," which are absolutely primitive by comparison. And now, nothing on Roots Forward's site, Facebook, Soundcloud etc. state exactly what year this song is from... they just say "pulled from the vaults of the legendary Marley Marl;" but that doesn't mean anything date-wise - he could've recorded it and put it in his vault yesterday. Bloggers and vloggers are saying "'88" a lot, but I can't figure out where they're getting that year from. I found an old facebook announcement from Roots Forward that specifies, "from the golden era," and that's it.

Well, the controversy was enough for me to take it to Twitter and ask the man himself, @MC_Craig_G. And he replied back, "Nah it's a song from 1987." Assuming for a minute that it's not a Top Shelf-style hoax, Craig shouts out "buyin' records on Cold Chillin'," so it's gotta be before 1989, because Craig signed to Atlantic, not Cold Chillin' like the majority of the Juice Crew. At the end of the day, it still has an unexpectedly smooth sound to it, but I don't see firm enough grounds to accuse anyone of faking the funk (and, after all, Marley has tons of genuine unreleased heat is his vaults, why would he mock one up?). And, just like with Top Shelf 8/8/88 - even if it IS a fake; it's an awesome fake that sounds great and I'd have to have it in my collection even if it was newly recorded! :)

Now, until some new, concrete info comes forward, I'd say the case is closed... even if that may not to be everyone's satisfaction. So let's put it behind us and talk about what a neat, little record this is!

The joint's a banger, with - as I said - Craig G in full "Symphony" mode over a hot break-beat from Dexter Wansel. You surely remember "Theme From the Planets" being used to awesome effect in records like "In Control" by Sway and Tech, "Last Night" by Kid N Play, "Gutfest '89" by Digital Underground, the "Understand Me, Vanessa" remix by Anttex and "Tuffest Man Alive" by The Fila Fresh Crew. But unlike those songs which take practically the whole instrumental - which always sounds incredible - this one stops short, only using the opening drum loop. Like I said before, it's one Marley used famously elsewhere - after the big programmed drums at the opening, which Eric (cough cough, Marley) B keeps on top for the whole song - this is the drum loop he brings in for Eric B & Rakim's "I Ain't No Joke."

But then he flips it to a whole new direction, and brings in a smooth, head-nodding piano loop, helped quietly along by some atmospheric synth sounds in the background. And there's just some very simple, subtle scratching of a Rakim vocal sample ("tear it - tear it up") for the hook. In fact, it kinda sounds too subtle for '87... Uh-oh, wait; let's not go there again!

This record is limited to 300 hand-numbered copies; 100 pressed on clear (clear) vinyl, and 200 on black. As you can see, mine's clear and #17. It's not too unreasonably priced at $20, though that's a bit high considering this is just a 7", as opposed to a proper 12" (probably the only reason they haven't already sold out by now). Those of us who pre-ordered it over the holidays also received a nice, little bonus: a mix CD of disco-era Christmas rap songs,, including even one or two I wasn't hip to. Definitely appreciate that.

After all due consideration, this record has both my support and recommendation. And there seem to be both clear and black copies still available, so if you haven't already, I'd suggest dropping by the Roots Forward store and grabbing yourself a copy.And as for the future, Roots Forward has already announced four upcoming vinyl projects, including "the 2nd label release which will be an early 90?s gem being released again as a limited edition 7" single." And Hot Chillin'? Well, it's been ages, but they still have a page promoting their next release, HC003: Marley and Premier mixes of that wonderful tribute to Mr. Magic that was released mp3-only in 2009. Man, I hope that still happens!

Update 1/6/12: - Just heard from Roots Forward. According to Marley, the song is from 1988.

Secret Album Diss Revealed!

(And there's a Youtube version here!)

Sluts, Muppets and MC Craig G

In 1985, a B-side took off that almost managed to rival "Roxanne, Roxanne" in infamy. The Bad Boys featuring K-Love dropped their second single, "Mission" on Starlite Records. But it was the B-side, "Veronica," with the timeless "Oh, Veronica, Veronica; oh, Veronica girl" hook that everybody spun. Everybody except the radio stations, that is, because the song was filthy:

"She's a lovely lady, and she loves to fuck;
So I said, 'yo, Veronica;' she said, 'what's up?'
Said, 'girl, tell me something, if you're not a slut,
Then what's that thing, sticking up your butt?'"

And that's probably the only reason it didn't totally eclipse the "Roxanne" saga it was no doubt inspired by (it dropped in the middle of the whole "Roxanne wars" saga). Remember, 1985 was well before NWA and The 2 Live Crew*, and just after the controversy with Prince that lead to explicit lyrics warning stickers on albums. This is the original "talking nasty about a girl over a human beatbox" track that really changed the whole direction of hip-hop, from blatant rip-offs, like Just-Ice's "That Girl Is a Slut" to... a whole legacy of dirty raps. The fact that they spit it all over a crazy hip-hop version of Sesame Street's "Mahna Mahna" song just made the whole thing that much more bugged out and attracted more attention. Really, you had to feel sorry for any teenage girl named Veronica back in 1985.

So of course there had to be an answer record.

In 1986, Pop Art Records put out the female spin on the story of Veronica with "Oh! Veronica" by a duo called The Glamour Girls (their first and last record). And they actually got the same guy who produced the original, Tony D (not Tony D from NJ who produced The Poor Righteous Teachers, but the Tony D who Serch dissed on "Gasface"). But I guess they figured, if you're making the opposite of record featuring a group of guys rapping with a female beatbox, you didn't just need female MCs, but a male beatbox. So, even though Tony D regularly worked with K Love on his records, he brought in someone else for this one... he brought in MC Craig G.

Yes, that MC Craig G, the Juice Crew All Star. He's featured on this record, but only as a beatbox. The rapping is left entirely to the girls, who recount their own version of what happened when The Bad Boys met Veronica: "we were chillin' with Veronica, just hangin' out, When we met The Bad Boys - nothin' to brag about." But, interestingly, while they do use the opportunity to take a playful shot at the original "Veronica" rappers, they actually offer the same opinion of the fictitious Veronica that the Bad Boys had: she's just a huge slut. The verse ends, explaining what happened, "they thought they were slick; they all started illin'. Laid Veronica, now they're getting penicillin!"

I mean, usually when you have an answer record to a song like that, the idea is: sure, that's how so and so told you it was, but here's how it really happened! But this is an unusual case we're they're on message - they actually agree with the initial group's assessment. But then they wind up turning an easy excuse to tell "that girl's so slutty" quips into something a little more fun: hiking on the Boys for their inability to handle her:

"Bizzy walked in and he was coppin' a plea.
He said, 'I'm still a virgin; please don't hurt me!'
He went into a panic, and started to cry;
She said, 'it's okay, Bizzy, send in the next guy."

This version forgoes the Muppet music, and replaces it with a fresh whistle (sort of along the lines of the famous Good, Bad and the Ugly whistle) over a big, programmed beat (this was 1986, after all) and a lot of simple but loud scratching. And, no. No human beatboxing.

Craig G isn't on the Radio, Long or Instrumental versions of the song... the ones that most people are probably familiar with and that wind up on all the compilations. They save his contribution for a specific Beat Box mix which eschews the whole instrumental. It's all just Craig's mouth-made beats and Tony's cuts.

So, yeah, like I said, this was the one and only Glamour Girls record. At least together - the girls themselves both went on to other things. One of the MCs, Glamorous, went on to become an official Juice Crew member herself, featuring on the songs "Evolution" and "Juice Crew All Stars." She's still around, too, check out a track she dropped this year. And the other girl? She went on to release a string of hits by the name of none other than Sweet Tee; and more recently came back as Suga on The Show soundtrack. And if I have to tell you what Craig G went on to do, I think you're on the wrong blog. ...That's the (other) great thing about sluts - they wind up giving birth to so many interesting people! ;)


*Actually, technically, the 2 Live Crew was around back then... But it was before they hooked up with Luke & Brother Marquis and became controversial by rapping about sex.

How Awesome Is This? Original Guru Demo Tape Release

Man, I can remember a couple years ago, when a rap blogger (damn, I wish I could remember which blog it was!) posted pics of a cassette he found in a shoebox full of old cassettes: A crazy looking, handmade demo tape by Guru, back when he was going by the name of Keithy E. Man, that was the source of some serious online envy! But then it was nearly forgotten, as news broke of Guru's hospitalization, the beef between Solar and Premier and Guru's family, and eventually his tragic passing.

But it wasn't completely forgotten, because The X Label got a hold of it and is releasing replica copies of that original cassette, with the original music and artwork. The X Label is run by Justin Elam, Guru's nephew, who you probably remember from these videos.

Now, I talked before about the early, pre-Premier recordings of Gangstarr on wax, starting in 1987, and the different sounds they had with DJ 12BDown on the boards. Well, this is even before that - this tape dates back to 1986, and it's even further removed from the sounds we know as Gangstarr's. There's no Premier or 45 King, but Beatmaster Jay providing the music (as well as DJ 12BDown on the turntables and Damo D providing some human beatbox).

And I'm not going to front, it's really rudimentary. While those early 12"s showed us a birthing Gangstarr looking for its signature sound, this tape brings us them learning how to make rap records period. I'm not saying it's wack, but it's definitely very amateurish and clumsy, with cheaply recorded vocals over drum machine loops. And sound quality? Well, I think their focus was more on preserving than restoring here. It sounds like the hand-made demo tape they're presenting it as, not original recordings restored from their masters. And while other early demo releases by classic artists we've seen released (i.e. OC's on No Sleep, or Main Source's on DWG) have been as good if not better than most of their classics, this is definitely not the case here. This is a tape to be listened to and appreciated as a piece of history by a classic artist, but not so much for being a gripping musical masterpiece.

But it's still a pretty dang awesome release. It's a six-track EP, with five songs. The opening track is a radio interview with Guru and DJ 12 B Down as guests, which is pretty great to have, too. And one of the songs should sound familiar - it's "The Lesson," the first 12" they released on Wild Pitch. But, this is a completely different mix. The lyrics are the same, but the music is different with lots of keyboards, and in general it's kind of lighter, more pop.

The other four tracks are "Epitome Spree," "Cold World," "Not You" and "People Unite," none of which have ever been released before. Interestingly, in the radio interview, one or two other early Gangstarr songs are discussed that we don't hear here. So that means there's actually even more vintage, unreleased Guru music left to be unearthed (possibly 12 B Down has it?), "So What" and "Fresh Avenue." X Label, maybe that could be your next release. =)

This EP is only available on cassette, a full-on replica of the original tape, including the labels on the tape itself. There is one interesting change however. On the back of the original, it said "COPYRIGHT 1986, K. Elam, J. Johnson," with J. Johnson's name crossed out. In the pic to the right, the original is on top, and the new version underneath. I assume J. Johnson is Beatmaster Jay. Not only did The X Label add their own logo, which you'd expect; they also 'shopped out J. Johnson's credit. A little touch of rewriting history, I guess.

Anyway, these are reasonably priced at $15 - just slightly more than what you'd've paid for a tape release back in the day; and they're available directly from the label's site: thexlabel.com. Really, I don't know how anybody could look at that picture and not just immediately decide, "I need that!" But seeing it online does bring up some questions, so I hope I answered them all, and if this is your first time hearing about this release... pretty awesome, ain't it?

Have a Very Disco Rick Christmas

(And the Youtube version is here. Happy holidays!)

A Record 4 All the Suicidalists

If you're only familiar with Esham from his material made in the last... fifteen years or so, you're not familiar with Esham. It's like only knowing Kool Keith as a solo artist, only having heard EPMD after they reunited or only being with Guru's material with Solar. To say you've missed all his best shit doesn't even begin to explain it. You're just witnessing the pale shadows of artists that embarrasses the fans who knew these guys back when.

Let's build out the Kool Keith comparison. Esham's earliest releases are like those pre-Next Plateau recordings Ultramagnetic put out. There's some good material and they show promise, but they're still young and amateurish, and not living up to their potential. Kkkill the Fetus and Esham's crossings with the horrorcore boom would be the equivalent of Ultra's time on Mercury and Wild Pitch - dope shit for the fans, but the beginnings of a downhill slide were evident. By the time Esham was doing Natas and Maggot Brain Theory, that's like the Cenobite days. Still some good stuff, but you've got be willing to sift through the lesser releases. And by the time Esham and Kool Keith actually were making records together*... the less you hear of it better.

The Judgement Night albums are the Critical Beatdown and related 12"s. Seriously, I think even the purist of hip-hop purists would have to say the track for "How Do I Plead To Homicide," with its many change-ups, is pretty fresh, for example.

"Fallin' Angel" is the only single off of either Judgement Night album,. specifically volume 1. Or 2, depending which format you place your faith in. I'll explain.

Judgement Night vol 1 and 2, were released in 1992 and, like all of Esham's stuff until wayyy later, by his own label, Reel Life Productions. This was, I believe, the first double album in hip-hop, however unlike double albums by guys like Biggie, 2Pac or No Limit; these were sold separately. And most fans today are familiar with the Judgement Night CDs with the fancy painted covers, but back in '92, tapes ruled the scene. There was basically no artwork on these bad boys, just text... Vol 1 was subtitled Day and written all in red; and 2 Night, all in black. But besides tapes and a few CDs, Esham did manage to get some very limited vinyl pressed on his early releases, including today's 12" and one - just one - of the Judgement Day albums, Day.

At least, it says it's Day. But it has all the songs from Night on it. So, which is "correct," the vinyl or the cassette and CD track-listing? Well, since Esham re-released these albums in 2000 and stuck with the CD/cassette track-listing, I think we can say that's what he considers to be the proper one.

So since "Fallen Angel" (as it's titled on the album) was on Day, and the Day songs were all left off of the Day LP, that means this 12" is the only way to own the song on vinyl. So any Esham vinyl is already a rare collector's item, but that fact makes this 12" even more so.

"Fallin' Angel" takes the bulk of it's instrumental from some creative sampling of Funkadelic's "Cosmic Slop." What I like about it especially is that, although it uses a lot of the song - including an entire sung passage for part of the hook ("I can hear my mother call... I can hear my mother call. Late at night I hear her call; Oh lord, lord, I hear her call. She says, 'father, father it's for the kids. Any and every thing I did. ...Please, please don't judge me too strong. Lord knows I meant no wrong. Lord knows I meant no wrong.' You know the devil said"), it completely removes the zany P-funkiness of the song. If I didn't recognize the source, I'd swear the singing was from some old, Sam Cooke-style religious, R&B/blues song lifted off some ancient 45 nobody would ever hear of unless they found it in a dusty attic down south. The bass guitar notes sounds really organically smooth, and the use of snaps and bells in the percussion brings it all to life.

Lyrically, despite the predictable Devil and "I'm a crazy murderer" references ("'thou shall not kill' was my first, but then I broke all ten commandments"), it's barely a horrorcore track. The best way to put it is that it's removed enough from the worst elements that most heads don't have to dismiss it as cheeseball horror movie rap, but still true enough that fans of the genre won't feel like they were tricked into buying another one of those "we're only acting horrorcore on the surface to tap into the market, but really we're trying to be something different and safe" songs. Hell is clearly used here to mean the depression and poverty of a miserable but entirely Earthly existence, and references to the devil sound less like the way you'd expect Flatlinerz to use them, and more the way Poor Righteous Teachers would ("livin' in the ghetto, the devil is now a black man. I saw him standing on the corner with a crack man"). Combining that relative maturity of the darker and serious subject matter with the effective production manages to make this quite an effective well-rounded song. "My mother sings the blues and drinks the booze, and then she prays to save her soul from bad news. Tears fall; I hear my mother call on the Lord. At night, I be playing in my room on the Ouija board." See? It's like a serious, personal song that anyone can relate to... but still just horrorcore enough if that's what you're looking for. In interviews, he's said he made Judgement Night while going through a serious depression, and you can tell. Effective stuff.

The B-side, "Cake Mix" (titled "Finger In the Cake Mix" on the album) is one of Esham's many sex raps. He was good at making them sound sleazy, but otherwise, I never felt they fit in well with the rest of his material, and that goes double here, because the lyrics are so childish and goofy. The premise is just turning the act of baking a cake into a series of sexual innuendos and puns ("upside-down cake, rattle and roll; the cake mix runs down the side of the bowl. I dip my face in the bowl just to get a sniff; kinda smells fishy once I get a whiff"). It's just... you're not going to listen to this really except to laugh at it (as opposed to with it), and that's a shame, because the instrumental actually makes great use of another funky sample that really could've been something more in the hands of another rapper.

"Finger In the Cake Mix," by the way, was on Night, and as such is also available on the LP.

One downside of this 12", however, is that despite the big "PARENTAL ADVISORY: EXPLICIT LYRICS" sign on the label, these are actually clean versions that reverse the curse words. There's only one instance in "Fallin' Angel" ("fuck the teacher and fuck the preacher"), so it doesn't totally ruin the track, but it's definitely sub-optimal. And of course, there's more on the B-side. Still, though, it doesn't stop be from recommending this record to any head who's open to somethign a little off the traditional, beaten path.

*Yeah, they actually did a couple together. Esham even signed Keith to his label briefly, for the Spankmaster album.

She Drank Champagne... and I Drank Milk!

Little Shawn's career has flown kinda under the radar. People may remember him as a crossover, love-rapper kinda guy who was clearly trying to appeal to a more mainstream audiences with his singles "I Made Love (4 da Very 1st Time" and "Hickeys On Your Chest." Sort of like a Candyman or Mellow Man Ace without that break-out hit to get his brand emblazoned into the fleeting attention-spans of the MTV audience. He certainly managed to garner some fans, and I'm sure there are people who will big up his only album, Capitol Records' The Voice In the Mirror. But even they probably think of him as a flash in the pan who made a little noise and then disappeared.

But, actually, Little Shawn's was contributing to the game for a good chunk of time. Did you know he's one of uncredited guest MCs on Special Ed's "5 Men and a Mic" or that he had a song out with Maxi Priest in 1992? But more than that, after his brief stint on Capitol, Puff Daddy brought him into the Uptown camp where he wrote for everybody from Father MC to Mary J Blige. He even recorded a song for the NY Undercover soundtrack that got enough buzz Uptown turned it into the single. But despite the fact that the label promised the original version would appear "on the upcoming Little Shawn album," Uptown never found the time in their schedule for him and eventually it all seemed to fizzle out.

So those are the two big phases in Little Shawn's career, but there's actually a third, from back before he "came out of nowhere" and started putting out big budget videos through Capitol. Five years earlier, he dropped an obscure record on Select Records. See, back then, he was one of Howie Tee's acts (in fact, Howie produced that whole Capitol album), and just about all of Howie's acts came out through Select. So, in 1987, this little 12" came out (co-produced by Chubb Rock, no less), testing the waters.

Despite it's title, "Heartbreak Hotel" isn't the smooth, romantic song you might expect from Little Shawn. I mean, granted, it's about love (sort of... basically, the premise is that he gets involved with a girl who he doesn't realize is a prostitute), and it's even got a girl crooning the chorus, "Heaaaartbreak Hotellll." But musically, this is pure old school Howie with warbly synths over huge, programmed drums that bang as loud possible. And Shawn's flow goes right along with it... He sounds like Kool Doobie on the angry, rap side of the second Whistle album. And, lyrically, the emphasis is on being funny rather than trying to placate the ladies - one line that genuinely makes me laugh every time, "when I kissed her in the car, she couldn't behave, 'cause I had on my father's aftershave!"

This song has everything 80's you can imagine in it: stuttering vocals played on the keyboard ("hea-hea-hea-hea-hea-heart heartbreak!"), hand-claps, a rock guitar (by Spanador of Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam!) that only appears for a big solo on the breakdown, keyboards, a punchline stolen from The Fresh Prince, references to Donahue and Janet Jackson, a moment where he sings an old song to an almost ragtime-style piano. You could dismiss this as some corny-ass, outdated rap... or you could say, this is one of the greatest, ultra-outdated rap songs ever!

It's followed by a Dub, mixed by Omar Santana, that's almost as fun to listen to as the song itself. And if that's still not enough, there's a B-side called "My Girl's Mother." And this song's just as good/terrible as the A-side... it's like a cross between Whistle's "Just Buggin'" and "Barbara's Bedroom," with some super catchy synth lines, big beats, and a silly chorus. And it's another fun story, this time about Shawn trying to ditch his girlfriend ("send her to McDonald's to get a large order") so he can spend time with her sexy mother.

I enjoyed Shawn's album (at least, I remember liking it the last time I listened to it, which was probably ten or so years ago), and I don't hate on his later stuff... but it's a damn shame Little Shawn couldn't stay in 1987 forever. He could just keep making records like this, without feeling compelled to change with the times, and it would be like living in Santa's village where Christmas never ends.

Dimples D, Bewitched In Germany

Dimples D has earned a place for herself in hip-hop history with just one record, her classic "Sucker DJ's (I Will Survive)." Yes, it was an answer record to Run DMC's first hit, "Sucker MC's," and it's full of vocal samples that DJs have used for decades like, "he cuts the records with so much class." but it's more than that - it was a change in style and attitude, especially for female MCs, and it was a signature ode to scratching. It helped immensely that her DJ she was bigging up was the legendary Marley Marl, essentially making his debut as a DJ and producer (though technically, that honor goes to an obscure break dance record from the previous year, where he worked on the B-side dub mix). Dimples released her record in 1983 on Partytime Records. And then she disappeared, never to make another record again - she changed the game up and then vanished in a hot second.

At least... that's how the story's generally understood to have ended. But actually, she came back. In 1990. In Germany. She signed with ZYX Records, a label that has an surprisingly deep history of signing old school US artists who'd otherwise dropped off the scene. She dropped three or four singles (depending how you count it... more on that later) and a full-length album, mostly but not always with a new partner MC, collectively known as Dimples and Spice.

They recorded all new songs and released them as singles... but before that, Dimples tested the waters with her first (since 1983) single by remixing her hit. She called it "Resucker DJ."

Lady Spice is not featured on this 12", and Dimples doesn't spit anything new; she just uses her original acapella. And she didn't produce it either. You could almost call this a separate remix project - one of crappy those Run DMC Vs Jason Nivens-type dance singles that flooded hip-hop in the later 90's - except this was released by the same label, around the same time, and wound up on her Dimples and Spice album.

Now, if you're looking at the picture cover, you may've noticed the big "REMIX" and the small note underneath, "Original produced by Ben Liebrand." And you're probably thinking - wait, I thought Marley produced the original? You're right; he did (along with Andre Booth). What I eventually figured out this cover means is that there are two remixes on this 12"... the "original" remix of "Sucker DJ" on the B-side, which Ben Liebrand did produce, and then another remix, which actually pops up first on the A-side.

So, let's start with the A-Side. This is "Resucker DJ (Remix)," and it's not entirely clear whether they mean to say that this is a remix of another mix of "Resucker DJ" or just to generally inform us that "Resucker DJ" is a remix of "Sucker DJ's." Welcome to the world of ZYX; you'll get used to confusing labels like this if you stick around. Regardless, this is just a pretty enjoyable, very busy, more modern-sounding remix of "Sucker DJ's." It's pretty much what you'd expect, except that it doesn't suck. This version is mixed by Sanny X, an old school Swedish hip-hop artist. The fact that they keep it pretty hip-hop, as opposed to getting all trancey/ ravey like they usually do - is a huge boon. i mean, it's nothing essential, and it doesn't replace the original, but you definitely won't be mad at it - it's good times.

Then, flip it over, and you've got "Sucker Drums," which is essentially just a Dub Mix of what we've just heard, and then finally, "Sucker DJ (A Witch for Love)" (note, not "Resucker"... and why did "DJ's" become singular?). This is the one Ben Liebrand, and this one's pretty catchy. In fact, I understand it was a bit of a hit in Europe. So much so, that this B-side was also released as a separate, stand-alone single (which is why I said you could say Dimples either released 3 or 4 singles depending on how you keep score). Again, the acapella is just the original "Sucker DJ's," and again, they thankfully keep it to a regular, hip-hop beat that doesn't forget the scratches (after all, that's what this song is all about). But this time around, they add a few extra little samples and elements, but the body of this remix is the theme to "Bewitched." Yes, exactly the same silly sitcom refrain that DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince used for "Girls Ain't Nothing But Trouble." And, yes, it's a pretty transparent gimmick, but dammit... it just works perfectly with Dimples' voice and flow - perhaps more so than Will Smith's. I won't argue with any criticism you care to level at it - you'd probably be right - but damn it, it sure is fun to listen to.

I really picked this 12" up on a whim - hardcore collector that I am, of course I need a horrid, useless dance remix of an old Dimples D record that I just randomly stumbled across - but I wound up being quite pleased with it. It might rile purists a bit, but hey; it turned out she was directly involved with it, and even wound up making a whole album of new material to go along with it. If you like "happy rap," I think you'll be pleased with it, too.