Every Record Label Sucks Dick

You guys are getting two posts today. Why? 'Cause that last post was supposed to be up yesterday or even the day before, but I've been having technical problems with the vid. The aspect ratio is still off (it's closer on the YouTube version, but neither is correct), but I said it was close enough, I'm done. So now time to move on:

When RA the Rugged Man recorded "Every Record Label Sucks Dick" as Crustified Dibbs, I doubt he had any idea just how strongly his own label was going to justify that statement. Jive nixed his album after just one single when horrorcore turned out not to be the cash cow every A&R was hoping for, and "Every Record Label Sucks Dick" was never, even to this day, released. And it's too bad, 'cause it's one of his best songs ever.

But when you have a song featuring The Notorious B.I.G., you don't leave it in a vault. That's like burning money! So thankfully but unsurprisingly, Dibbs' gloriously obscene sex rap duet was white-labelled. And what's more, the 12" was issued some vinyl exclusives. You might think any track off his unreleased album would be exclusive enough, but no - they went the extra mile here.

First of all, instead of including "Every Record Label Sucks Dick" as the B-side, they went and recorded "Every Record Label Sucks Dick part 2." It's not quite as good, but it's still good. It's got a darker, more street instrumental, which would be great for most MCs to ride over... for Dibbs, though, I prefer the lighter original. The lyrics are all-new, too; this isn't just a remix. It is a short song, however, basically consisting of a single verse and the hook. This version is really perfect for what it is: an exclusive B-side; but I do wish the original could be released in some way, shape or form someday (Fun Fact, by the way: the original "Every Record Label Sucks Dick" is the song that features the line, "there's only 50,000 heads that are true to this; the rest are clueless as to what real hip-hop is" that became the hook to the Sadat X duet, "50,000 Heads").

Then, of course, there's the infamous Biggie Smalls feature, "Cunt Renaissance." Right from the title, you know this is gonna be Biggie doing what he does best, and pairing him up with Dibbs (who spits a hook about ripping out cunts with spoons!) takes it even further over the top. I remember HipHopSite was promoting some release in the late 90's that featured "un unreleased verse from Biggie - where do they keep finding them? Amazing!" But it was really just his verse from "Cunt Renaissance."

Anyway, there's no production credits on this 12" (and none were leaked for the unreleased album), so I've no idea who did what. But this is a funky track with some rugged drums and bassline, and a sample reminiscent of Jeru's "Come Clean," but mixed more in the background. It's tight, so it's a nice bonus that they managed to include the instrumental for this as well.

But wait, that's not all. They also made an exclusive "Cunt Renaissance" remix. This features a keyboard riff that sounds like it was lifted off some direct-to-video 80's exploitation flick, and even a girl crooning in the background. The original bumps harder and is probably the one you'll revisit the most often, but this mix is probably truer to RA's sensibilities and fits the zaniness of the song. So, in some ways it might be better, but the original's the one you'd ask the DJ to play when you wanted to freestyle. But it's your choice, because they included the instrumental for this mix as well.

This record is on the Want Lists of, like, everybody on Earth. So when you see it, grab it. And when you see two, grab both. There wasn't a lot of these pressed, and it's dope. And thanks to all the exclusives, it'll still be a must-have, even on that hypothetical day that Traffic grows the balls to issue Night Of the Bloody Apes on CD.