Unreleased Slick Rick, Chapter Two

Ah, now we're getting into the goodies... This 12" hails from Japan, land of many alluring and exotic bootleg records. "How?" we ask, "when?" But I don't think we can ever truly learn the answers to these questions. They just exist... and when there are no original presses to be had, we are grateful.

We're offered two never before released Slick Rick tracks on this 12", better than most of the material on his later LPs. These are real treats.

The bulk of "Sleazy Gynecologist (Triple X Version)" (delightfully spelled "Gynacorogist" on the label), is a first person narrative of Slick Rick as a... well, sleazy gynecologist (not entirely unreminiscent of some Dr. Octagon lyics). Each verse is an increasingly dirty story of R.D. taking advantage of lady patients. In the first one, he gropes the breasts of a woman who comes in complaining of chest pains:

"'I hope it's not cancer, or I'll flip out.'
A pity. Well, lie on this couch and whip out your titty.
Let me see. With both hands startin' ta...
'Shouldn't you have some kind of gloves on, docta?'
No. And I do not do this for liesure,
Although it may appear an unusual procedure.
Now, relax and stop riffin'.
Meanwhile carressin' her nipple as they both start stiffin'."

In the second verse, a woman comes in complaining of hemorrhoid problems (at this point, one begins to wonder if Slick Rick is entirely clear on exactly what a gynecologist is, but never mind)... you can imagine what that might lead to. And in the third, he finally loses control with an underaged girl:

"Still pokin' in her poom-poom... what an easy score for me.
Until I heard, "stop, Rick; get off of me! Get off of me!'
Couldn't stop now; still poundin' in the stuff of her.
The police even found it hard to get me off of her.
Life. It ain't a sign to follow this.
Me, R.D., one sleazy gyneocologist."

Yeah. Like Kool G Rap's "Hey, Mister Mister," it's not hard to imagine why this song might've had a difficult time finding its way onto one of Rick's commercial releases. Finally, in the fourth verse, thie song reveals it's true nature, as SlickRick (now, presumably, as himself) tells his girl he doesn't like her seeing a male doctor: "I don't want no other man touchin' my girlfriend's bum up; unless some emergency of some sort come up." Not a lot of rappers have what it takes to pour their own insecurities so openly into a dope song like the Rickster.

The b-side, "Feels Like ~," is what J-Love titles "The Nutty Professor" on his disc. It's easy to see why, as the story of the song follows Jerry Lewis's plot pretty exactly, even down to the name of the character he transforms into, Buddy Love. But of, course, this version's told in Slick Rick's utterly unique style. No production credits are given for either track, but this one sounds decidely Pete Rock produced to me. Both tracks = much fun, and this 12" is definitely a must-have for any Ricky Walters fan, bootleg or no.