InstaRapFlix 14: Spring Bling

Now, I've had some pretty weak movies in the InstaRapFlix series... I just pick what seems interesting and unusual and see hope for some interesting surprises. I swear I don't seek them out! Except this time I kinda did. He he

These were the only two comments for Spring Bling (Netflix rating: 1.5 stars), "This is thing has nothing to do with spring break! Its garbage!! The should be sued for this!! The whole thing is just corney quick interviews from nobodies in miami. Dont bother!!"

and

"This video is a sham it was very misleading, it had nothing to do with spring break (women). Please for the love of video gods dont bother with this video and it should be removed from the list."

...A sham? They should be sued? And it's only 54 minutes (including opening and closing credits)? How could I not check that out?

Now, Netflix xalls this Spring Bling, but the box cover they show, and the onscreen print, both clearly give another title: 2 Live for TV: Spring Break Uncut. So, I guess that's where the commentor got that this was gonna be about "spring break (women)," which he's right, there's not much of (I can't imagine there's a Cut version of Spring Break Uncut). There is one quick shot, near the front though, of two girls in bikini tops, and a text graphic comes up saying "DAMN!!" Then, about twenty minutes in the there's a shot of some girl's butt as she walks past and it says "DAMN!!!" ...three exclamation points that time.

So, what the heck is this movie, anyway? It's a BET crew for Cribs TV (glad to see they've replaced Rap City with something classy), apparently, running around a DJ Khalel video shoot and getting drops from the celebrities. So there's a couple big name celebs like Rick Ross and Paul Wall (I guess he's a big name celeb...) who say about five words to the camera... then we go down the fame ladder till you hit the unknowns. The most interesting celeb was Prince Markie Dee, but he didn't have anything to say either. So, basically, it's a million little clips that go like this: "We're here with Cribs TV at the DJ Khlael video shoot, doing it up real big and look who I got right here! My man so and so! Word up. That's how we do." Then the guy shouts out Miami and/or the single he's gonna put out next month, and it's on to the next clip. Who wouldn't be happy having spent $25 to have that on DVD?

But I didn't pay anything because it was an Instant View. ...I still feel ripped off, though.