Mr. Wallenrod's Laff Attack

"I've heard of a heart attack... and a Big Mac Attack... but what's a Laff Attack?"

Laff Attack: Rappin' and Goofin' is the first (and still one of very few) hip-hop compilation albums to focus on funny rap songs. It came out on Priority Records in 1986, and features songs from various other labels.

Now. funny/novelty rap records have been around almost as early as rap records themselves. One of the handful of hip-hop records released before the 1980's was Steve Gordon & the Kosher Five's "Take My Rap... Please." Sugarhill put out records by Wayne & Charlie the Rapping Dummy, and even Sylvia Robinson's answer to Mel Brooks' novelty rap record "It's Good To Be the King," "It's Good To Be the Queen." So there was no shortage of potential material.

But this album makes some surprising selection choices. Rockmaster Scott's "The Roof Is On Fire?" That's a hip-hop classic, but there's really nothing funny about it. "Don't You Dog Me" must be on here because the album's producer's thought anything by The Fat Boys is funny... but why a fairly serious song about being treated poorly in relationships as opposed to something like "Double-O Fat Boys" or "Jailhouse Rap," where they rap about going to jail for robbing a Burger King?

Other songs are more obvious and appropriate choices, however. Yes, "Rappin' Duke" is on here, as is "Hambo - First Rap, Part 2" by Hambo, who even disses the Duke ("who's the rappin' duke who thinks he's so patriotic? 'Da-ha, da-ha' sounds pretty idiotic. Don't youse think that sounds stooopid?"). Also, funnier raps my more legit artists are included: "La Di Da Di" is a genuine rap classic, even more so than "The Roof Is On Fire," but I can't act so bewildered about what it's doing here.

Also included is Spyder-D's "Buckwheat's Beat" (though we all know the X-Rated Version that was included on the B-side of the original 12" was funnier) and one of the more unabashedly comic entries in the epic Roxanne saga, Ralph Rolle's "Roxanne's a Man." And a final curiosity, they (naturally) include the great "Honeymooner's Rap" by Joe Piscopo, Eddie Murphy and the great Grandmixer D.St... but they credit it to a group/artist named Lost Episodes, which is a little perplexing. And Priority did it again in 1989, on their Rapmasters compilation. The phrase "lost episodes" doesn't appear anywhere on the original 12"... It's just weird.

Anyway, there's nothing original or unique on this album (except the crazy illustration used for the cover). every song was previously released before. But it's still an undeniably enjoyable listen, and even the un-funny entries are still fun and fresh songs. I'd be hard-pressed to name a better album to listen to today... Happy April's Fools!

Vooodu Is Not At Home To Guests

To true rap lovers, the internet provides. I'm sure you've been there, too. You hear a really impressive, underground MC on a freestyle or guest verse, and then spend years seeking after everything they've committed to vinyl or CD... which turned out to be not much at all. A 12" or two, another guest verse... and that's their whole legacy. Until you got online, and started finding out about indie comebacks under new aliases, white label singles you never knew existed, unearthed demo tapes and obscure regional collaborations. And even when you've been on here for years and years, and you think you've plumbed the full depth of knowledge, discovering every release there is to discover, the internet shows you another one.

Arrived in my mailbox today is a 90's 12" single by an R&B singer I can't say I remember named Elisha La' Verne, called "Elisha Is Not At Home." I pretty much stopped buying R&B music since high school (although I did recently fill a gap, picking up Keith Sweat's "I Want Her" :-D), but obscure 90's rapper appearances? I'm all over that. And this, my friends, is the final guest appearance by Western Hemisfear's own Vooodu. 

Like his last release, the "Confessions" single, this came out on Sony/Epic in 1999, so surely that's how this pairing happened. It's a respectable, if by-the-numbers R&B vehicle built on the same Brick sample Akinyele used a few years earlier for "Put It In Your Mouth." The basic premise is that Elisha's not answering her ex's phone calls, and the hook is her answering machine. Then Vooodu comes in for the final act with the prerequisite rap verse as the ex who doesn't appreciate being put off.

The good news is that this is a substantial verse from Vooo, and not just one of those quick, throwaway five-second numbers like, "this is Biggie Biggie, I'm down with Puffy and we cosign Mary. Peace out" (I may've paraphrased the "Real Love" remix just slightly there). I mean, no, it doesn't compete with his sickest Wake Up Show freestyles, but some time was clearly put into the writing and it's got some lyrical integrity. And he sounds good over a smoothed out "Put It In Your Mouth;" he's even got kind of a East coast, Biggie-ish vibe going here. Granted, it's just one verse tucked away on a 4 1/2 minute R&B song, but it's genuinely worth your while and a completely respectable entry in Vooodu's limited canon.

This comes in Street and Clean Video Edits ('cause Vooodu didn't hold back on the cussing just because he was on an R&B single), and has an additional remix called the "Nite Trip - What Is It? Remix." It's produced by a guy named Lumbajack whose specialty is hard house. It's a shame, because what starts out like it's going to be a cool, dark and atmospheric remix that puts Vooodu more in his element is quickly ruined by all the zippy trance synths and clubby drums. It also completely clashes with Elisha's seductive crooning style, ultimately leaving us with just an ugly mess.

So stick with the A-side. But this isn't at all rare or hard to find nowadays, so if you're still a Vooodo fan from the Patchwerk days, it looks like the internet has come through again.

But wait!  Even that's not the end of the story.  Elisha put out a Japan-only CD album in 2000 called Change Your Way.  And guess what?  Vooodu is back for another round.  The song is called "Don't Wanna Be Your Fool," and Voo has two verses on it.  A brief introductory one ("your attitude is ridiculous, why you think I'm being mischievous? Listenin' to rumors and stuff. Supposed to believe in us, because you can't have love without trust"), and a fuller one about two thirds of the way through.  He even sounds more Biggie-ish here, but it's still his undeniably distinctive voice.

As the intro made pretty clear, the song's about not wanting to be cheated on and the need for trust in a relationship; and the bulk of it is Elisha crooning over a pretty boring R&B track co-produced by Mark Lomax and Marlon L. McClain of the Dazz Band.  But Vooodu gets his part in, "why do fools fall in love like Frankie Lymon sings? Vooodu: ladies' best friend like diamond rings.  I knew you couldn't resist the kiss, or the Cartier I put on your wrist, so what is this?  You havin' second thoughts now, I'm lost now.  Relationship was even, now you say you wanna walk out, 'cause you think you made a bad decision.  But I only have eyes for you, not worried 'bout no other women."  This is bottom shelf Vooodu, and I wouldn't recommend importing the album for this one quick appearance (he's the only guest MC on the album).  But it's nice to discover that the well goes every little bit deeper.

InstaRapFlix #35: Ghostride the Whip

If there's one... phase, style, fad, whatever in hip-hop that I don't know so much about, I think it's hyphy. I know of it, and I've certainly been a fan of some pre-hyphy releases by its mainstays like Mac Dre and E-40; but I've never really sunk my teeth into it. So I've decided to make my latest InstaRapFlix viewing to Ghostride the Whip (Netflix rating: 2 stars), a documentary on hyphy.

It's written and directed by DJ Vlad, who you probably best know as the Vlad of VladTV (where the Canibus/Premier beef just jumped off), and narrated by Sway of The Wake Up Show. Sway's narrattion is a bit stiff. But that's almost my only major crticiism. This movie goes deep, taking us back into the history of Oakland and Bay area rap well before hyphy. Hell, by the ten minute mark, the doc's still on The Black Panther Party and hasn't even gotten into the start of hip-hop music yet.

And this movie has everybody. Talking about the history of Oakland rap? Too $hort's there, MC Hammer, later E-40 and Mac Dre, Celly Cel, Keak da Sneak, etc etc. They've got the rights to play the appropriate hyphy songs and music videos, instead of just generic, loopy background music. There's lots of sideshow footage, and then interviews with cops about shutting them down. If you're worried you won't see anybody actually ghostriding their whips, don't worry, there's ample automobile theatrics, from vintage footage to plenty recorded just for the doc.

This doc covers the dancing, right down to the specifics moves and even diagrams the slang. It talks candidly about thizz and its effect on the scene, from stunna shades to the serious. There's some great history on Mac Dre from his early days to his legal problems with his crew and his eventual shooting, and even his wake.

It's not often I can recommend an InstaRapFlix, especially since I tend towards the obscure, which often leads to awful. But Ghostride the Whip, unexpectedly, turned out to be a really good documentary. Watch it. But don't try what you see at home.

The Original Ghetto Boys

(Youtube version is here.)

Because They Still Had It Like That

"Because I Got It Like That" was one of the many, many singles off of The Jungle Brothers' first album. Seriously, was there any song off that album that wasn't released as a single or B-side? Anyway, it was another great song in a series of great songs from them... The percussion pops like nobody's business and the JB's voices sound incredible over it. This is the song that features their sing-songy anthem,"dancing on the dance floor; girl, it's you that I adore" etc, that they also performed on De La Soul's "Buddy." The rest of the lyrics are pretty breezy and substance-less (impossible brags about money and girls), the scratches by Sweet Daddy are simple but effective, and the a crazy circus music loop on the hook seals the deal. It dropped in 1988 on Idlers Records, with a few variations of the Instrumental, but... this isn't that single.

This is the 1998 single of "Because I Got It Like That," which came out on Gee Street just after they were making their gritty comeback with album #4, Raw Deluxe, but before they went all house/club music on us. I guess Gee Street weren't quite sure what to do with these guys, so they rereleased their classic single, with a picture cover matching their Raw Deluxe style, and pushed some new, UK remixes. This is a US pressing, however.

The A-side is pretty much exactly what you'd expect. It takes the original elements of "Because I Got It Like That," speeds it up, adds erratic drums and turns it into a club record. Pretty much, the less said about this sort of junk the better, but I will say this. The mix, done by The Freestylers, was very well done, the transitions are smooth and effective, and clearly the guys making this knew what they were doing. The only problem is what they were doing is turning a hip-hop classic into terrible club music. But, if you're ever in a situation where you for some sick reason wanted to turn a hip-hop classic into terrible club music, these guys will do an excellent job.

No, the reason I singled this 12" out for blogging is the B-side remix, by Ultimatum. Now, Ultimatum is essentially The Stereo MCs, plus or minus an associate. And now I know what you're thinking: "Stereo MCs remixing a Jungle Brothers classic ten years after the fact? Pull over and let me out or I'll jump!" Look, I know their track record and was as wary as you... but it's dope!

First of all, it's still hip-hop... they don't turn it into house, electro, club or whatever else. In fact, they keep a lot of the original elements, including Sweet Daddy's scratches, which sound even tighter here. And the elements they add aren't keyboards or studio-made junk, but raw, lush samples. Chunky guitars and drums sound like they're taken off of some lost, 70's funk rock band, and then there's these great, blaring dusty horns on the hook.

Interestingly, this is actually a remix Fatboy Slim got a lot of mileage out of. He's often credited for doing this great remix of "Because I Got It Like That" (seriously, just do a search for "Because I Got It Like That Fatboy Slim"), but really he just played the Ultimatum Mix sped up. That's it. All the other credit goes to Ultimatum, who really created this version.

Now, this 12" also includes the original, Straight Out the Jungle mix, plus the instrumental for The Freestylers' mix. It's the kind of thing you can pick up super cheap because it was over-produced then and is under-appreciated now. 'Cause this looks like just one more in a long line of cheap, repackaged old school 12"s that dropped in the 90's. But there's something surprisingly worthwhile here; so if you miss the JB's in their prime, you'll be glad to slip this in your crates.

Ya Gonna Need a Posse, a Mosse Or More

"All Praises Due To the Outstanding" is the first of only two 12"s released by the underrated Blvd Mosse in 1990. They were a Trenton trio and part of the collective of artists that Tony D was producing on the independent tip. The label is Scorpio Music, "where the artist decides what you hear."

The A-side uses the same, catchy piano break and vocal sample that Rob Base and Rich Nice used for their songs, both called "Outstanding." Rich Nice's was dope, but of course on the house tip. And is this version better than Rob Base's? I hope you don't really need me to answer that! The title might have you thinking this is going to be some 5%er, quasi-religious themed rap, but nah... Outstanding is the name of the MC, and it's all about him. Still he does shout out the Gods and the Earths and ups the importance of innovation and education, disses crack, etc. So it's still a positive song, but without dwelling on the message like you'd expect.

But the winner is the ultra-hype B-side, "Move To Something Funky." Hardcore drums and a familiar, fat-paced bassline (heard in Kid 'N Play's "Energy" amongst other places) merged with sick, squealing horns. You've got fresh cuts on the hook, and Outstanding beings some serious energy to his delivery. This is just one of those moments where all the elements come together perfectly. You've already got a dope crew and the magic of Tony D behind the boards, but all of their stars aligned for this one.

Unfortunately, their two singles on Scorpio were the crew's entire legacy on wax. But we do know there is more material by the Mosse floating around out there. Tony D talked about having some in his vaults in some interviews, and was even planning to release it - two mp3s even made their way onto CocaineBlunts. But with the passing of Tony D, the project never materialized, which is a damn shame. We can only hope that somebody from the crew or another label picks it up again, because one listen to this will have you confirming that two singles is just not enough from Blvd Mosse.

A-Rrested Development On the Wax!

(Youtube version is here.)

Milwaukee's Old School Hip-Hop Scene Excavated on Wax

If you'll recaall, in my recent write-up of Run DMC's "Black History" 12", I promised a look at the label's subsequent releases. Well, since "Black History" (JMR-001), they've released a series of five, limited 7" singles. They're all very rare, sometimes outright previously unreleased tracks, by early artists from Milwaukee's early hip-hop scene. If you've heard of any of them before (and don't feel bad if you haven't), you're either from the area or have gleaned onto an old 12" or two as "random rap." But now they've been made much more accessible with this dope, affordable (no high priced limiteds here; they're all less than $10, and I found two for as cheap as $2 direct from the label).

I'm really not sure just how legit these are, however. "Black History" was clearly a boot, but some of these (especially the ones featuring unreleased tracks) may've had the artist's involvement... maybe? I don't know. The best I could label these is "undetermined," so bear that in mind and on with the show! :)

First up is "Kool is Chillen" by MIDI. It's pressed on red vinyl and limited to 300 hand-numbered copies (mine is #161). It's a repress of a 12" single (on regular, black wax), which actually had a smaller run of 200 copies back in 1987. It's sort of like early Stetsasonic, with Run DMC-styled deliveries, a spacey sample from "Planet Rock" and a lot of energy. The B-side, "Bru City" is interesting... it's slower, with hard deliveries, big drums and hand claps, but atmospheric keytones, like an early West coast record, and even some human beatboxing. Really, this could almost have been a single off of On Fire.

Next up is "Lamont Is the Baddest" by Kid Crab and G.F.C. (that's the Get Flesh Crew to you). Kid Crab was actually the DJ for MIDI (and he's still around today); and he went on to release the original 12" version of this record a couple years after "Kool Is Chllen" with three new guys. This one is limited to 100 copies (mine is #61) and is on plain, black wax. The original 12" was actually three songs; but this repress leaves off a song called "Settin' Him Straight." Despite the two-year difference, this doesn't really sound any more modern, and was surely considered old school-sounding even in 1989. It's got really big synths playing a constant riff over everything, and ultra-deep bass. The rhymes are simple, but the constant cutting (this time by DJ Supreme; Crab is just the MC in this line-up) is fresh, and the hook is great: "Who is the baddest? Lamont is, Lamont is!" ...while the DJ cuts up the LL Cool J vocal sample, "the baddest around!" The B-side, "That's Why I'm Screamin'" is probably better, though the mastering is pretty muddy... The ridiculous synths are replaced with an electric guitar riff, and again the scratches are the best part.

Third we've got, "We Are Two Tone" by, yes, Two Tone, a duo whose schtick is that one is black and the other is white. In keeping with the theme, their are two differently colored pressings, blue and green, limited to 100 (mine is a green #92). Unlike the previous two 7" singles, the music on this one has never before been released. It comes in a "picture cover," which amounts to a single sheet of paper print-out in a plastic sleeve; but hey, it's better than nothing. The A-side is ok, with some more old school beats, more Run DMC-styled shouting and back & forth deliveries, all wrapped up with a corny chorus . But this one's all about the B-side. "Mike T Is Dope" is a super-fresh ode to their DJ Mike T... yes, the same DJ Mike T from Compton's Most Wanted! The MCs come pretty nice, but it's the killer cuts and funky collage of old school samples making up the production that make this one such a killer.

Fourth is "Here's a Little Story" by MC Richie Rich & Scratch, repressing what was previously a cassette-only release. This one of the many "La Di Da Di" clones that have been poured into hip-hop by a million artists who were immediately inspired by the style and flow of MC Ricky D. Or, in this case, Richie Rich may've been even more directly inspired by Dana Dane - a female character even asks him, "where's your kangol and slick silk suit?" It's limited to 100 black copies (mine is #90). Richie's Rich voise is so soft, and the style and lyrics so blatantly derivative (he raps about jumping out of the shower and everything just like "La Di Da Di"), that this song is hard to take seriously. But the B-side is a completely different story. It's a more modern sounding, harder posse cut called "Pull the Trigger." Rich still sounds like he did on the A-side, so that's a little odd, but the others kill it over a dope track. And included on this posse cut? None other than Rock La Flow, who you should remember from Dope Folks' recent EP I covered in my video, The Milwaukee Illmatic!

These records may sound low-budget, or even amateurish; but they're also some enthusasiticly raw hip-hop that's a lot more compelling than their cleaner-sounding major label counterparts. I could see a lot of this material getting dismissed back in the day, but today, it's all fresh and very welcome. The highlights, like "Mike T Is Fresh," are incontrovertibly great and I'd recommend them to any hip-hop head at anytime; but others do require you to be in 80's Rap Appreciation Mode. If you are, though, you're gonna love the whole set to death. So look for 'em on discogs or the Bay, and let's hope we hear more from Jamille Records in 2011.

Oh, and if you're thinking, "Werner, I see four records written up here, but you distinctly mentioned five." Well, stay tuned, the last one's coming in my next video review.

Rebels With a 20-Year Pause

(Youtube version is here.)

Keep On Keepin' On (Test Pressing Hotness)

Now, you may remember me talking about how the demo version of The Outsidaz' single "Keep On" was infinitely greater than the album version. If not, have a refresher. :) But, still, the album version wasn't bad... a fun duet between Pace Won and Young Zee. Yeah, the beat and the rhymes were both superior on the original, but it was still a solid, Rockwilder-produced track. After all, it was chosen to be the lead single in 2000 for their Bricks album, and it features their signature sick wordplay like, "punk, ya gonna make me use the steel and blast ya Coup de Ville - hit the right side up, make ya lose the wheel."

And that single was pretty nice. It came in a sticker cover[upper left], and broke the song down to its various components: Clean, Album, Instrumental and A Capella versions. Plus, it was backed with another decent album track, "Done In the Game," which was also broken down all four versions. And if you happened to live in the UK (where, for some reason, the Outz continued to get a lot of support and promotion from their label, who'd veritably dropped them in the US), they had a fancy picture cover version with an exclusive, Mozart Remix. Produced by some guy named Marcus Saunders, it's, um, okay... It's got sort of a lighter, smoother sound and samples some strings which I presume are sampled from a Mozart piece. Die-hard Outz collectors have it, and the rest of you can sleep easily at nights without it.

But that's not the end of the story...


A test-press only release of "Keep On" remixes! The A-side[as you can see, above] starts out with the Mozart Mix, which is the same as on the UK 12", plus the Instrumental, which is also on the UK one. But the B-side features two more exclusive versions: The Rude Bwoy Mix and the Rugged Mix, both seemingly credited (it's a little hard to be certain with the handwritten label) to DJ Kemo of the Canadian indie rap crew The Rascalz (remember "Northern Touch?").

Both of these mixes keep the raw, noncommercial edges to The Outsidaz sound that the Mozart foolishly smoothed off. The bassline is deep and grabs your attention first, but it's the low-fi reggae-style percussion that really makes the Rude Bwoy Mix click. Meanwhile, the moody, street-themed Rugged Mix sounds like something Kool G Rap would rhyme over in his most criminal mindset, combined with a, well... a Rascalz record. Of all the variant mixes out there, this is the best one... except for the demo mix, which as I said before, was really an entirely different song with different vocals by different Outz members. But for this version, if you're going to listen to this set of verses by Pace and Zee, then the Rugged Mix is the definitive version, topping the album version and the rest.

Unfortunately, I have no idea how many copies of this exist. But if you're an Outsidaz fan and you come across it, you owe it to yourself to pick it up.

InstaRapFlix #34: I'm Still Here

I wasn't going to bother with this film... It was evident the "Joaquin Phoenix is a rapper schtick" was a hoax - and not a very interesting one - even before people knew there was a movie attached to it. But hey, it's streaming for free, so what the heck, just watch I'm Still Here (Netflix rating: 2 1/2 stars) and get it over with.

The rapping and music is terrible, of course (that's half the gag, after all ...I guess). The characters are unlikeable. The conflict is uninteresting. The depiction of reality is unconvincing (perhaps most damning, the acting is bad). The humor is trite. The message is heavy-handed, but... well, okay, the message is sort of interesting at least.

So, okay, you've got two self indulgent celebs (Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck) roping in a bunch of other dopey celebs (Mos Def, Ben Stiller, P Diddy etc) to make a stupid, shallow indictment of how self indulgent celebrity culture is stupid and shallow, and everyone who gets roped into it is a dope. So, they're essentially saying you're wasting your time by watching crap like this... and I have to admit, they have a point.

You know how they say that if you're being trolled on the internet, no matter how you respond, they're winning... because all they're looking for is to get a reaction out of you? So the only way to win is not to play? Well, this movie is a case of celebrities trolling the general public. If you watch it, talk about it, blog about it[d'oh!], or spend time out of your day thinking about it, then you've been trolled.

But what's the rap nerd perspective? That's what we're all here for... Are there any great cameos or clips of interesting hip-hop artists tucked away in here? Not really. Because it's all about celebrity status, the only artist we see performing (besides "JP") is Jamie Foxx leading an audience into a call and response with his and Joaquin's names. Otherwise, all the cameos and appearances are actor buddies, not MCs. So yeah, nothing worthwhile here, even streamed for free.

They Can't Control Their... Split Personality

Last summer, UK hip-hop trio Rhyme Asylum dropped their second album, Solitary Confinement, to some positive reception. Unfortunately, like most albums these days, it was released on CD and mp3 only. So vinylism (sort of a German Sandbox or HipHopSite, except they didn't bail out on vinyl) got together with the group, picked their favorite eight (out of eighteen) tracks, and pressed up this EP, The Overdose.

It's labeled a limited edition, but I find any reference to just how many copies it's limited to; and it's also priced like a standard modern release; not one of those high-priced collectors editions we've been seeing. it comes in a very cool picture cover and features a couple guests (Crooked I, Reain, DarkStar and Ill Bill) who do a good job of blending into their aural surroundings. But you're probably thinking, "yeah, but Werner; I've never heard of these guys. What's this like; is it any good?"

Alright, well, in general they've got a really nice underground but lush sound. Lyrically, Rhyme Asylum seem to come in two modes (albeit in varying degrees). They're either spitting creative, hardcore backpacker-type rhymes - just dancing on the line of falling into "horrorcore" - which is where they excel. They mix clever hip-hop wordplay with vivid imagery... that kind of shit groups like Atoms Family or Virtuoso kicked in their best, early days:

"I keep my eyes peeled with hunting knives;
My voice alone provokes stone gargoyles to come to life.
Gave nightmares spittin' Lucifer lullabies;
Tried it a hundred times but can't seem to fucking die.
Run and hide when disaster strikes."

...Or they're kicking these kind of sappy, motivational, "yay, America [or England, I suppose, in this case], we can do it!" pep rally lyrics:

"Let 'em know you've got no reason to fail;
No one's gonna believe in you until you believe in yourself.
(Believe that!) We all hope for a little bit of luck.
People told me I suck but I didn't give a fuck."

And musically, they've got the same dichotomy going. On the one hand, they've got some fresh scratch hooks (their DJ comes nice with his when they utilize him, but that isn't nearly enough). And on the other, they go for that shouting Rah Rah kind of upbeat anthem vibe. And the samples switch from dark and moody to pop rock guitars and smashing cymbals. One step farther and they might've had ICP's "Homies" on their hands!

But like I said, it's in varying degrees... most songs sit somewhere between the two poles I just described, with more generic, middle-ground hip-hop rhymes where they're mixing the dark images ("Valkyries clean up after my dogs of war... Lucifer's rejects; shoulders are stumps where I used to have three heads") and the self esteem boosters ("don't let anyone tell you you're chasing an impossible dream") into more traditional hip-hop braggadocio ("this is hip-hop music's inner vision, bringing you back to pure facts fused with super lyricism"). And instrumentally, too, you're left with mixed results like "Event Horizon," where there's some tight rhymes over a great, atmospheric beat (think Sunz of Man before they let their label try to push them into the mainstream), but spoiled by a cheesy chorus.

So, at the end of the day, they're hot when they're at their best. You're definitely missing out if you don't check for songs like "Open Mic Surgery." But most are mixed bags, where just as one element starts drawing you in, another comes along to turn you off again. And one or two songs, while still displaying some quality production, could really have been left out all together. Ultimately, I recommend picking up this EP; there's a lot of talent and earnest craftsmanship on display... and best of all, some sick rhymes. But I don't imagine anyone needs to go so far as to pick up Solitary Confinement for the extra songs on CD or anything so overboard as that.

Spoonie Gee vs. Busy Bee

(Youtube version is here.)

Hey-Ya, Hey-Ya, Can I Get Some?

On its twentieth anniversary, collectors are finally able to cross one of random rap's most elusive, sough-after records off their wants list. ...That is, if they're willing to settle for a repress. The legendary Warpath EP by Courageous Chief has just been repressed - and remastered - by Dope Folks Records.

Originally released on Tirade Records in 1991, Warpath is a bit of a "grower." Initially, certainly, you'll dig and respect it, but you'll probably think, "Eh, unless I stumble upon it for cheap; I can probably live without it." It's only until you've had a chance to sleep on it a while and reflect that you'll realize, "damn, I've got to add this to my wants list, too!" That's because the moments that immediately jump out at you - the pre-Wu-Tang use of some old, dubbed kung-fu movie for the hook of "Russian Roulette" or the sheer audacity of turning the "hey-ya, hey-ya"s from Slick Rick's crabs with spears and Indian drums ("An Adult Story") into a chorus - tend to overshadow the EP's actual best moments. Songs like "No Feedback" with Chief just spitting hard over a tough mix of "Nautilus" and "UFO," or the hyper percussion underlying his non-stop flow on "Verbal Surgery."

But unless you were prepared to spend, oh, $500-800 bucks for it on that rare occasion it popped up on the 'Bay, Warpath was going to be a permanent resident on your list. Until now. Dope Folks has issued a limited (300 copies) run of this, which, as always, is available through their website, dopefolksrecords.com. They upgraded it to a nice sticker cover (the original just came in a generic sleeve), and they've remastered it. Now, I can't compare this to the original, because like most everybody else, I've only ever had a rip of this; but I can say this pressing sounds excellent.

My only disappointment is that, after discovering that Chief has tons of vintage, unreleased tracks and that those DATs are well-preserved and freely available, this EP contains no exclusive bonus songs. This is the first time Dope Folks has issued a record without at least one previously unreleased song on it. So when this was first announced, I was really hoping we'd get a couple bonus treats tacked onto the end, but no; this release only represses the original EP tracks. Dope Folks has said, though, that they're aware of Chief's unreleased vaulted music, and that it's a possibility for a future release.

So yeah, this is a traditional "holy grail" of random rap, a real standard. But actually, Chief isn't quite so "random" as you may think. Most know him as a NJ (hold it down!) one-hit wonder with this rare but highly praised, sole release... but he's actually stayed in the game pretty consistently. And besides recording albums worth of unreleased DATs, Chief has also worked steadily as a Wu-affiliate under the name Popa Chief. Down with Brooklyn Zu (he's on multiple tracks off their Chamber #9 album), the Zu Ninjaz and producing for guys like Popa Wu and ODB. He's also out out a couple indie CDs in the 2000s, and he's got a bunch of recent mp3s and youtube videos on his website, popachief.com. So check it. He's even talked of recording a Warpath II.

Future Soon To Be Left Behind

Future Left Behind is the upcoming album from Shawn Lov. It's on NuffSaid Recordings, the Australian label that put out his last two albums; but make no mistake -Shawn Lov's an OG New Jersey MC. He's been quietly putting out albums since 1994, but he really started appearing on peoples' radars when he teamed up with Tony D (R.I.P.) and dropped a couple records on Cha-Ching. Hell, if nothing else, you should remember him from the interviews I did with him back in November. And so this is his new album... it's not out yet, but he hit me up with a finished copy, including artwork and everything, so it should be just around the corner.

And how is it? It's dope; I dig it. It's produced by a roster of international heads who manage to give Shawn a surprisingly consistent backdrop... boom bap but with a clean, almost lush vibe. 100% headnodders. The majority are handled by Prowla, a resident NuffSaid producer, but you've also got producers from Germany, Holland... and yes, New Jersey. Custodian of Records provides three songs with a slightly rawer edge, including the album's two stand out bangers: "The Problems" and "Rare Grooves," a high energy duet with Sadat X.

This is a Shawn Lov album, so clever punch-lines and battle raps are a given; but the overall tone here is "battle rapper grown up." Whether remembering conversations with Tony D on "Future Left Behind," or just the fading of the culture on "[1-14] Be True:"

"Now I'm watching college boys grab the mic and try to handle it;
They culture-fuck hip-hop, 'cause they don't understand this shit.
You ain't the first geek with a win-streak;
When that track ends, it's still too hard for you to make black friends.
'Cause he ain't really in like, say, a Mike D or Eminem;
So it's impossible to see the music through that lens.
And I grew up with Brand Nubian, Wise and Brother J in my ear;
Took the time to learn the way we got here.
And you grew up to P Diddy and all that shit,
And threw a frat parry, 'cause to you that's all rap is.
A far cry from the soul of an '88 cipher."

Shawn even manages to sneak in an ode to his love of vintage video games without making it sound jokey or gimmicky. Yeah, if you didn't know, Shawn Lov runs a classic arcade in Burlington, NJ called High Scores. In fact, I've got a fun bonus video, never-before-seen 'till now, I did talking to Shawn a bit about gaming. And if you're interested in Future Left Behind snippets, the intros to each of my video interviews with Shawn (one, two, three plus the one below) features music from a different album cut. :) So now, without further adieu:

(And I got a Youtube version here, too, if you prefer.)

Make This One Count

This one is really flying under the radar, but you don't want to miss out. Apparently with zero fanfare at all, Neila has released her latest album, Only This One Counts. It's a full-length album, on vinyl only, pressed on marbled red and hot pink vinyl, and as you see, comes in a picture cover with her own artwork. Neila's been selling them herself through her facebook account for $12, and now a couple online stores (like accesshiphop) have been getting some copies in stock.

So how is it? I'm happy to say it's dope, and definitely better than her last album, which was still good. There, for me at least, the production just didn't quite click with Neila's voice and flow. Here, it definitely does. It's entirely handled by one guy named Rezult, who I don't think I've ever heard of before, and he has no credits on discogs. But whoever he is, he does a great job providing a consistent, vibrant sound, and one that meshes perfectly with Neila. It's moody and dramatic and sets up Neila's personal, heartfelt lyrics (all handwritten on the back cover, by the way) perfectly.

There aren't any guests on this album, except for DJs Handprints and Skid, who provide some nice cuts on a few of the songs. Otherwise, it's all just Neila and Rezult doing their thing, giving this album a much more personal vibe than her others. And it's made all the more personal, when you know the story behind it. Like I said, Neila's putting this one out herself, and in this message to her fans, she explains the situation, ""PLEASE SUPPORT MY ALBUM TO HELP PAY FOR HOSPITAL BILLS AND RENT! I have vocal chord cancer, things are looking good, this is the LAST ALBUM with my real voice..."

So it's kind of a special release, though hopefully "last album with my real voice" doesn't equal "last album ever." But she sounds good here, coming with a really cool album in all aspects, and the presentation is first class. So while you may have to do a little work to secure a copy, I think this is no Neila fan will want to have passed up.

Extra Odd Years

Guess what arrived in the mail today... Buck 65's new album 20 Odd Years! ...Wait a minute, didn't I already receive and review 20 Odd Years back in October? Yes, well, this, I guess, is 20 Odd Years 1.2... 20 Odd Years was released as a series of three EPs (originally there was meant to be four, but one fell through), on 7" vinyl, mp3 and CD/DVD. That must've done pretty well, because now there's this new release (also available through buck65.com) on LP and CD. It's got a nice picture cover and a slightly different track-listing. So, let's break it down:

First, the missing songs:

1) Red-Eyed Son (w/ Coral Osborne) from EP #1 - This was a good song; I'm sorry to see it go.

2) The Niceness (w/ Colin Linden) from EP #2 - Frankly, I'm happy to see this one go. I mean, while the collector in me would like to see every song ever included, the whole album feels more mature with this silly number axed.

3) Tears In Space (w/ Meaghan Smith) also from EP #2 -This was okay, but no great loss.

And that's it for the missing songs (you can read more about them in my original review of the EP releases). If you've noticed, that means EPs 1 and 2 have exclusive songs, but #3 does not. So if you're considering picking up the EPs (they're still available as of this writing) in conjunction with the LP, #3 is the least essential, as it has nothing that isn't already on the album.

Now the new songs:

1) Whispers Of the Waves (w/ Gord Downie) - I could do without the guy (I guess that's Gord) singing the hook; but it's not terrible. Buck's flow over the rhythm bass is cool, though, and the scratches are a nice touch. Definitely a winner.

2) Stop (w/ Hannah Georgas) - The upbeat instrumentation is a nice change, but it feels more like a Hannah Georgas record featuring Buck than the other way around. Buck only has two short, unimpressive verses (over a lame beat) shoehorned into what's otherwise some kind of indie rock song. Feels like watching MTV, which I'd rather not do if I can avoid it.

3) Tears Of Your Heart (w/ Olivia Rulz) - Like the past EPs, forcing practically every song into a collaboration hurts this project. The girl sings something in French on the chorus, and, except for the breakdown, she doesn't sound like she belongs on the song. Buck comes with it, though, and I like the instrumental manages to have a live garage band feel while still maintaining a hip-hop nature. I like it, but a shorter version without the long, self-indulgent instrumental stretches and the excessive hook would've worked even better.

4) She Said Yes - Kind of boring and lifeless... I kept thinking, "when is this extended intro going to end and the song proper going to kick in?" But it just goes on until it ends, sort of a slow spoken-word bit over subdued keyboards and weak percussion.

So, overall, it's a nice package and a decent, if still uneven album. At first I felt a but like we'd been duped - we weren't told all these songs would be released as a proper LP back when the EPs were being sold, so we couldn't make the informed decision to hold out for this album. And it's frustrating that the absolute worst song from the EPs ("Who By Fire") was carried over, while one of the best ones ("Red-Eyed Son") was not. I wish it wasn't too late to trade them, but oh well. Forced to call it, I think the LP is slightly better than the EPs, but it's pretty close (the bulk of the songs are the same, after all), and my fellow completists will need both anyway. So, yeah, it's a good album - not Buck's best; but has some really strong moments. It's just unfortunate that we've bought most of them before.

But now, with the LP in my hot little hands, I'm a little feeling better about the whole thing. After all, getting four new songs... in a way, it's almost like getting the fourth EP that never materialized. And this one's on 12" with a nice picture cover. It just so happens to also include a bunch of the older songs from the past EP over again. It's hard to get too excited about an album I pretty much bought already four months ago; but it's nice to finally score that last EP. But, like the other EPs, it's just okay, and brought down by all these misfit guests. If you heard the last few EPs, this is more of the same. Hopefully Buck has worked all the cross-genre collaborations out of his system, and the next Buck 65 album will feature Buck 65 on at least 75% of the vocals and production.

Press Rewind If They Haven't Blown Your Psyche

That link I mention is: delinquentsoundz.com
(Youtube version, dependably, is here.)

Black History

For Black History Month, I thought I'd look at a cool piece of black history called "Black History" about... Black History Month. Back in the 80's, Johnson & Johnson gave away a free cassette single with jeri curl kits. It was an exclusive song by Run DMC called "Black History" b/w "Famous Firsts" by Kurtis Blow. Until recently, it had only existed on that ultra-rare cassette, but around the end of 2009 or so, it was pressed onto this nice piece of vinyl. Now, clearly, it's a bootleg. There's no way Profile (Or Johnson & Johnson) issued this. But since I also can't see them ever digging this out of their vaults and giving it a proper, official 12", it's hard not to recommend this.

"Black History" is an epic (over 10 minutes long) ode to black history.They kick literally dozens of short verses about important black historical figures. It's really rudimentary old school stuff, with beat-box beats, handclaps, and a simplistic but funky bassline. Run and DMC have constant interplay throughout their verses, essentially each MC taking every other line, with the key, dramatic lines shouted in unison. It injects a lot of energy that keeps things from getting dull or plodding. The lyrics are pretty simple, but this predates anything like "You Must Learn" by years and you there aren't many rap records by legit artists that are as flat-out educational as this one:

"There was another great man from ancient Africa."
"Earned his name as a warrior."
"Great military strategy was the key"
"To this army commander's victory."
"Hannibal of Carthage led the way."
"Hannibal of Carthage was his name!"
"Yeah, Hannibal of Carthage was his name."

"In a hot July evening of 1893,"
"A black doctor performed historic surgery."
"The person had a knife-wound in his heart;"
"And the doctor knew it was a shot in the dark."
"But he went ahead and opened his chest;"
"And the operation WAS A BIG SUCCESS!"
"Dr. Daniel Hale Williams was his name;"
"And open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."
"You say open-heart surgery was his claim to fame?"
"Yeah, open-heart surgery was his claim to fame."

...That's pretty much how they all go, with the name finally revealed at the end of each verse. To spice things up, they keep going back to a lively hook ("Black! Black! Black! Black history!") and they have some other random voices appear throughout... sometimes girls pop in to sing a bit and sometimes somebody does a silly impression of a voice referred to in a verse. There's even a human beatbox breakdown about midway through the record. Finally, it ends with them kicking a rap about the importance of knowing your roots, and somebody plays some funky, spacey keyboards.

But the B-side to this 12" isn't "Famous Firsts." Instead it's another Run DMC rarity seeing its first time on vinyl, "Slow and Low." As you'll recall, "Slow and Low" was an early hit record by The Beastie Boys in 1985, but it was originally recorded, though never released, by Run DMC. They wound up giving it to The Beasties, and the original version was shelved. The Run DMC version uses the same beat, rhymes (except for a few lines where they mention themselves) and hook, though it's a little slower and Run DMC's delivery is naturally not quite as frantic. Now, this 12" isn't the first time it's been heard; it saw an official release (finally) in a five-disc Run DMC compilation album called Original Album Classics. But it's never been available on vinyl before this 12".

Finally, there's an uncredited third bonus track. It's a short mega-mix of Run DMC songs, and a nice scratch tribute to Jam Master Jay. Unlike the other two songs, this is new (though, of course, mixing old records), made by the DJ who pressed this 12".

So, yeah those are the songs, but you all want to know how the sound quality is, right? Well, thankfully, it's pretty good. Obviously "Black History" has been taken from the cassette and not the original masters, but some effort seems to have been put into making this sound as clean as possible, and the pressing is solid and can handle substantial volume. The B-side sounds even slightly better, as it was surely taken from a CD source. So short of Rick Rubin pulling some reels out of his closet and pressing up a top-notch official pressing (don't hold your breath), this is as good as you're gonna get, and it's really pretty good.

The presentation is nice, too. It comes in a sticker cover and is pressed on clear vinyl. The label itself is blank, except for a handwritten number, as this is a limited, numbered run of 200 copies (mine's #117). I mean, I don't know how much value collectors put in a numbered, limited edition of a bootleg; but still, it's kinda cool. Short of, you know, actually paying the artists and licensing the music legally, the label that pressed this up* did it just the way you'd hope they would, a quality preservation of an important piece of hip-hop - and black - history.


*Jamille Records, a label that's gone on to specialize in rare and unreleased old school rap from Milwaukee. You can expect a post on them in the coming weeks. 8)

Puff Daddy & the Tuff Crew

You probably weren't expecting a Puff Daddy record to pop up on this blog, were you? But hey, two verses by Biggie and Busta Rhymes on a hook over a track lifted from the Tuff Crew? Even I would have to call you a "hater" if you couldn't appreciate that.

This is "Victory," more specifically credited to Puff Daddy & the Family, dropped on Bad Boy Entertainment in 1998 (from the '97 album, No Way Out). It's produced by one of Bad Boy's regular "Hit Men," Stevie J. But like I said, it's a big shameless lift from the Tuff Crew. The Tuff Crew started out their second (or third, if you wanna count Phanjam) album with an epic sounding instrumental to signal their triumphant return. They called it "Going the Distance," because the bulk of the instrumentation is taken from the soundtrack to Rocky, specifically a track called "Going the Distance."

Now, you might say, okay Werner, granted the Tuff Crew sampled it first, but lots of great rap songs have sampled the same records over the years. Or, to quote GURU, "rap is an art, you can't own no loops." But these guys didn't just coincidentally use the same song as a sample source, they both used it the same way, rather boldly playing the whole first minute of it through rather than a standard short loop, but still chop it at the same point. But even more importantly, Stevie J paired it up with essentially the same drums that the Tuff Crew did. He removed the handclaps (after all, this wasn't 1989 anymore), but otherwise he completely just lifted Tuff Crew's track and played it whole for Puff.

But I'm not mad at that. First of all, because the hypothetical naysayer above would be right in pointing out that lots of great songs got to samples second (or third or twenty-eighth), and that doesn't make them any less dope. And secondly because Tuff Crew underutilized it, making it an introductory instrumental, whereas Bad Boy turned it onto a proper song with vocals. And finally, because on some mixes (more on that in a sec) Stevie J does add a few extra elements, most notably some operatic female vocal sounds, that enhance the experience even more.

By the way, a quick aside while I'm on the subject... this record credits the wrong sample in the liner notes [see the label scan above]! It says it uses Bill Conti (he's the guy who did the Rocky music)'s "Alone In the Ring." But that's wrong,they're using "Going the Distance!" "Alone In the Ring" is a very subdued piano solo that sounds nothing like "Going the Distance" and doesn't appear even momentarily in the background of "Victory." It's all "Going the Distance."

Now, there's a couple mixes here, but they're essentially minor variations than whole-hog remixes. There is no version that doesn't feature the same "Going the Distance" music or the same verses by Puff and Biggie. The mixes only vary by about 20 seconds in length. And the radio edits also remove Puff shouting ad-libs through a loud-speaker-like distorted mic effect ("it's all fucked up now!"), which was pretty annoying anyway, so that's no great loss. The most distinguishing characteristic is that only the Drama mixes feature the opera chick.

An interesting aspect to the censored versions, by the way... while they just silence every curse word from the raps, rendering them pretty unlistenable, it's worth noting that the chorus has been completely redone. Busta energetically curses up a storm on the original, and I guess that was just too much to cut out for the clean versions, so he re-does it, saying things like "we've got a real live hit" and "where my soldiers at?" instead of "we've got the real live shit" and "where my niggas at? where the funk my bitches is at?"

There are actually multiple US 12" singles for "Victory" (four, by discogs' count), but if you ask me, this is the ideal one. The only thing it's missing is Nine Inch Nails' remix that's featured on a couple versions. But that remix is just a noisy, unappealing sonic mess, so you're not missing anything there. As far as I'm concerned, the non-Radio versiono of the Drama Mix is the definitive version, as it features all the elements, and that's on here. Plus, this 12" also includes the Instrumental, which is absent from most of the others.

One more thing, and then I'm out. All of the mixes - even the non-Radio mixes full of cursing - censor Biggie's line where he refers to himself as "the Son of Satan." Unfortunately, however, I believe this stupid edit persists on every 12" version of this single. And it's that way on No Way Out, too, so don't blame the singles. You know the one place where it's left intact? The Nine Inch Nails Remix. Fucking Hell, there's just no winning with "Victory."

InstaRapFlix #33: Tupac: Uncensored and Uncut: The Lost Prison Tapes

Here's one that doesn't suck! Ha ha That feels like a relief to say considering how many InstaRapFlix entries have been pure dreck. I try to check for the rarest and most overlooked, obscure hip-hop films, and I wind up discovering that they're not rare or passed over enough! And this one could've easily been the same... How many bajillion caash-in 2Pac releases have their been since the man died? Countless. And, in all honestly, this is sort of a cheap cash-in, too. But that's okay, because it's actually pretty good. So Tupac: Uncensored and Uncut: The Lost Prison Tapes (Netflix rating 3 stars) gets a pass.

So, what've we got here? Well, the title (a title with 2 subtitles separated by colons seems a little out of control, by the way, but we'll let that go) is a little misleading. I mean, it is 2Pac, and he is in prison. But the title suggests these are some kind of important tapes 2Pac somehow managed to record while in prison... like a mini self-doc or a secret message covered up by the FBI. I mean, you'd have to be pretty naive if you thought you're gonna wind up solving 2Pac's murder by picking up this DVD at Walmart; but nonetheless, this title definitely suggests and promises (but does not deliver) more than a single, sit-down interview of 'Pac promoting his latest album to some random journalist. And I don't know what could be "lost" about this prison tape, except that maybe the journalist put it in his closet and forgot about it until 2Pac died and became more marketable.

But it certainly is uncut, however. When a poster falls over, we watch as they stop, turn around, and stand it back up. When the cameraman zooms in to find focus, that's left in the film for us to see. There is really zero editing whatsoever except to put little title graphics at the beginning and end. This is just a single the interview tape uploaded directly into the computer from the camera, unaltered.

Wait a minute... I said this was good, though, didn't I? Yet I'm making it sound almost as bad as Lil Jon: Uncensored. But here's the thing: in this age where every rap interview is a repetitive, minuscule soundbite, this is actually a straight-up, unfiltered interview without a million cuts, computer effects, and all the substance removed. If you want to hear 2Pac speak for himself, at reasonable length and be able to make your own judgements, then here it is. Where most of these low-budget rap DVDs are a lot of bullshit trying desperately to cover up the fact that they have no substance (for example, see Trick Daddy: Thug Holiday Uncut, this is a DVD with just the substance. How refreshing. :)

Now that it's amazingly deep. When the interviewer keeps asking him about 'Pac's Thug Life ethos versus crime and community standards, 'Pac acquits himself reasonably well (though when he says he fails to see how he glamorized thug life, I couldn't decide if he was being deliberately obtuse or borderline retarded), but ultimately we're just left with the sense of folly in asking a musician about weighty issues that are clearly outside of his expertise. The whole interview is only forty-minutes (what, you expected feature-length?), and a lot of the time is devoted to stating the obvious - 'he loves his fans and thinks they shouldn't shoot people and generally do what they can to avoid going to prison' sums up the majority of it. Finally, it ends with him rapping along to a walkman of his latest song "Can U Get Away," which wouldn't've even been an exciting preview back in 1995 when it was filmed, because Me Against the World was already out.

Still, 'Pac is engaged, and has thoughtful answers to every question. Personally, I would've liked some more questions about his music; and it feels like a missed opportunity to find out some new info about him as opposed to rehashing his generic talking points (the interviewer actually asks him if he feels sorrow for mothers who lost their sons to violence... is there anyone on Earth who would actually have to hear his answer to that to know what it would be?), but maybe that's just me. It's certainly worth watching as a free instant viewing if you care at all about 2Pac. But don't go overboard and buy this DVD unless you're a die-hard fan who has his posters covering all four walls of your room, because I doubt you're going to want to revisit this multiple times. It's a good interview, not a great film.

InstaRapFlix #32: Lil Jon Unauthorized

Have you ever used the program PowerPoint for work or something? Have you ever stayed up all night making a PowerPoint presentation and felt so proud of it the next day that you felt you just had to press it onto a DVD and market it commercially? Well, apparently somebody has! And if you're bored enough, you can even stream it on Netflix.

I'm talking about Lil Jon: Unauthorized (Netflix Rating, surprisingly: 2 1/2 stars). This is... I have no words. This only barely, technically qualifies as a film. First of all, it's not feature length, clocking in at less than an hour. And then... only about 10% of that time is made up of actual video footage. It's all still photos being slowly narrated by some guy who takes painfully long pauses between every other word to pad the running time. What's more, I'm sure all these photos are just lifted off of Google images... some even have tags on them from other websites still on them! And they're all photos you've seen before and they're often squashed into the wrong aspect ratio or heavily pixelated, because they've been amateurishly resized to fill the widescreen frame. Other times, only a fraction of the frame is filled and we're stuck looking at a tiny picture floating in an empty, black sea. When the narrator says Lil Jon's father was a welder, they don't have any pictures of his father, so they just show generic industrial pictures of men welding stuff. Oh, and the pictures recycle; so you'll see the same ones again and again.

Want to hear some Lil Jon music? Not here! These guys mean it when they say "unauthorized." And what little video footage there is? That 10% I mentioned? Well, there's two varieties. One is low-quality clips of his music videos (again, without his music), which must've been taken from Youtube... back in the early days when they were all tiny, compressed messes. What's more, the video clips are so short, they actually just loop... you'll see the same five seconds of footage replay four, five times in a row sometimes. Then the other kind of footage are these goofy interviews with a couple unidentified guys shot on the street somewhere. All together, they add up to less than two minutes of footage, and just offer inane comments like, "he's like the BeeGee's of 2000."

Then sometimes the narration just stops. You'll go a minute or two just looking at random Lil Jon images waiting for the narrator to come back and say something. And it gets sparser and sparser as the film goes on, until you're almost watching a silent montage of old photos. What's more, the narrator has an odd habit of speaking for the artist, saying things like, "working with Jay-Z was a big honor for Lil Jon." Like, huh? Is that your opinion?

But, no, it gets worse! Soon, the footage starts repeating! The guy who called Lil Jon the BeeGees of 2000? They play that same clip again around the 40 minute mark. And it's like that with everything. All the footage from the first half of the film comes back in the second. Silent, 5-second long music video clips filling just 1/5th of the screen just looping without their sound... it's fucking insane that this was released commercially! The narrator complete abandons the film about halfway through (literally, he's gone at around the 30 minute mark), and we just watch the same, low-quality photos repeat over and over again. Eventually, they start showing the same photos with flashing dots behind them.

Finally, at the 58 minute mark, the closing credits pop up and people actually put their names to this disaster, although I think (wisely) most of them are pseudonyms. Some guys just put their first names, like "INTERVIEWS CONDUCTED BY GABE." Oh, and they misspell the word narration, saying, "NARRIATION BY." And one last bit of sadness, just to bring the whole thing home... the final minute, actually over sixty seconds, is just static black screen. That's how desperate they were to pad this out to an hour (which they only make if you round up).

Here's something new for InstaRapFlix... a challenge! I defy any of you who have Netflix to watch this all the way through, from beginning to end, without getting up and walking away from the screen or fast-forwarding! And no reading a book or texting... just sit and watch the film while doing nothing else. It'll be like a vision quest; if you make through the ordeal, you'll automatically become a tribal elder.

Rare Yah Yah Appearances

I think a lot of peoples' appreciation of The Outsidaz (and their legacy of solo careers after breaking up) begins and ends with the more famous members... Young Zee, Pace, Eminem and Rah Digga. But really, some of the lesser-known members are at least as good (in some cases better) than their celebrity counterparts. Slang Ton was a brilliant freestyler. And Yah Yah (a.k.a. Yah Lovah; it's the same guy) is just as sick with his lyrics as his brother (Zee). So I'm always happy to discover a rare appearance by any of the crew members. And so now I'm gonna share a couple by Yah.

Whole Wheat Bread is a rock band out of Florida. They're not even of the Linkin Park or whatever variety, where they mesh hip-hop elements or sensibilities with their rock... they're pretty much just straight up, regular, plain old rock & roll. And that goes for their album, Minority Rules (Fighting Records, 2005), too - eleven songs of rock band. But then there's three uncredited, untitled hidden tracks, where instead of singing and playing guitars, they rap. How are they? Well, you could do worse; but you could easily do better, too. But if you remember, back in 2005, Yah Yah was living down in Florida, doing music with 5th Lmnt and Sage Lee... and guess who winds up guesting on the last of the untitled bonus cuts. That's right, Candyman! ...No, I'm kidding. Of course it's Yah Yah.

Despite the song not being on their track-listing or even titled, the CD liner notes do provide the credits for the song. It's produced by a guy named Brad Risch and Sage Lee. And Yah's credited as the guest, but you wouldn't need to read that to recognize him immediately screaming on the chorus. The production is a bit corny, and the members Whole Wheat can't hold a candle to Yah, but the song plays like a posse cut and everybody is at least full of energy and enthusiasm, a compelling combination of Outsidaz' signature style and dirty South representation, so the whole song gets a pass. But the highlight is obviously Yah's verse, saved for the end, "I'm everywhere the sun go and a few places it can't; bury you and your mans wit two cases of ants." Even if, like me, you don't care a lick about the album except for the one Yah appearance, you can get it used from Amazon for less than $2, so I think it's worth it, easily.

Now this next one, I first heard of in 2008 when Flakesays commented on my blog that he had an mp3 of a song called "No Return" by Critical Madness featuring Yah Yah. And like two years later, I found the song. "No Return" is off Creative Juices' 2005 compilation album, Endless Varieties. It's a sick duet between Yah and Critical, each one kicking a long, two-minute verse, with no hooks or filler, over a fresh beat. Critical holds his own nicely, but of course Yah wins, "I got issues,a whole lotta pistols, and I ain't hesitatin' to turn foes to fish food." The whole compilation is tight, by the way, with some great tracks by their stable artists, like Alucard killing it on "Short Cut," and then a lot of ill guests like Thirstin Howl, Heltah Skeltah and Shabaam Sahdeeq. And you can still get it direct from Creative Juices' site for cheap ($5 I think).

While we're at it, there's a follow-up, Endless Varieties 2, featuring another track by Yah, but this one's a mix-CD and the song's just a freestyle. It's called, "New Shit" and it's under a minute long. But Yah comes with a nice verse over a more west coast-sounding beat. The lyrics are more random and unfocused, he's presumably coming off the dome, so it feels a bit more disjointed: "Progressive, flavor like salad dressin'. Respect it, or it can get wild as westerns. Hoodlums, gallivant shootin'; I'm Gambit the mutant, Talliban family reunion." What is he saying there? Seems a bit incoherent, and before you know it, it's already over anyway. I can't recommend this one, at least not strictly for the Yah appearance, but it is also available from Creative Juices (for $10).

And of course, Yah has some less obscure appearances on bigger Creative Juices releases... specifically he and Young Zee both feature on the song "Eyes Front" off of Critical Madness's CD, Bringing Out the Dead. And then Yah, Pace and Zee all feature on "Still In This" off of IDE and DJ Connect's Ideology album. Both of those songs are great. So, hey, here's an idea: why doesn't Creative Juices quit dancing around the obvious and just sign Yah Yah already? You know that album would be hot and be a great move for both the label and Yah's career. ...But I digress. If nothing else, at least there's these hot little cameos out there to be found and keep us occupied.