The NEW New England Hip-Hop Massive

The great Herring has chopped another holy grail off many of the most entrenched hip-hop aficionados' want lists, this time hitting us with one nobody saw coming. They've repressed 1993's New England Hip-Hop Massive EP. It's one whose rarity has definitely elevated its status, but make no mistake; it's a seriously dope record.

The headline track is "The Line Up," where the indie CT record label DFO gathered every artist they had associated with them into one giant posse cut. A long, anonymous line-up of complete unknowns to all of us unfamiliar with the local scene, this joint had to earn its ranking as a crazily high-priced, sought after "raer" based purely on its ability to rock our knots. It's a raw, high-energy jam based on a hot break and DJ/producer Quazar cutting up as the mic gets passed further and further down the line. It's an impressive array of MCing, with most of the guys being distinct and varied; and only one guy stands out as being sub-par, with a corny punchline flow that wouldn't've even passed muster back in '93: "I'm a G-R-E-A-T P-O-E-T; imagine I'm a Twinkie, open your mouth and eat me. I'm no homo; I'm phat like 'Flow Joe;' I'm so poetic they call me the white negro. ...It's all about the paper, you ugly little faker. Your rhymes stink more than my brother's anal vapors." And he ends his verse by saying, "I've got so much flavor, it's even in my shit," which... I'm not even sure exactly what that would mean. It's so juvenile, I think it went sub-logical. But it's a hot, fast-paced track, so his flow at least sounds really tight if you don't pay attention to the lyrics. And really, I've singled this guy out because I couldn't resist it, but everybody else acquits themselves quite well. Don't let my quotes dissuade you from what a funky, rough treat this song actually is.

But, for all the bluster and bravado of the attention-getting posse cut, I think the second track actually holds up better in the long run. Holocaust Frost's "The Mind Is a Universe" is just a killer solo cut with MC Frost spitting over another hype banger by Quazar. If the title reminds you a little of the Ultramagnetic MCs, listening to it will only put them more in mind. Frost sounds like a non-eccentric Kool Keith over a track that would sound right at home on Critical Beatdown.

For the third song, Quazar's fast and dusty breakbeat style is replaced with the richer, fuller sound of Subversive Element. And with it comes the introduction of the only guys you might well've heard of who appear on this record: Raw Produce. Unfortunately, they don't rhyme here (that's left to the MC, CIA); but they are the beatsmiths, and while this is a little more hardcore than your standard Produce record, their aesthetic definitely still comes across. And with the startling and tragic passing of Cadence in March, the fact that his incredibly rare debut on wax has finally become accessible for fans is a real highlight.

And that's about where the original EP ended. The three songs, and an undesirable Censored version of "The Line Up." But Chopped Herring once again demonstrates how they've gone from outliers to front runners in this limited game by not just bringing forth a highly desired grail, but actually making it better. For The New Line Up EP, Chopped Herring has removed the useless Censored version of the lead song and in its stead replaced it with a never-before-released demo by Quazar and his MC Adrenaline. It's a demo they recorded under the name Def Duo (not the same guys who started with Jazzy Jay and wound up making records with Markey Mark and the Funky Bunch, though), and it's completely in tone, and up to par, with the rest of the material on this EP.

That last song was sourced from a cassette, so it does sound kinda hissy; but this record was made entirely from the vaults of Quazar himself, so it's the best recording available, and it does hold up pretty well on wax. The other songs are remastered off the reels, so they sound as just as good as the original recordings ever did (bearing in mind the songs were originally created somewhat on the cheap). This is limited to 350 copies, with 75 on a "Clear with Orange swirl mixed colour," 75 on "Orange and Black swirl mixed colour," and the other 200 on your standard black.They all come in the phat sticker cover pictured above, which identifies all the MCs of "The Line Up." I believe the original just came in a plain black sleeve, so while the DFO pressing naturally retains collectability just by virtue of being the original; this Chopped Herring is well above just being an acceptable substitute.

Hip-Hop On a Work Night

When you hear the phrase "grown man rap," you probably think of Jay-Z flexing over how he turned MCing into a corporate gig, Nas dropping sitcom-levels of insight on parenting or Grand Daddy IU lamenting how he pimps fewer hoes now because he gets tired earlier*. But the problem with this stuff is that it's being made by people submerged and isolated so far up celebrity culture that it becomes a stunted conception of adulthood as seen through the warped telescope of perpetual adolescence. Think MTV's The Real World as opposed to the real world. Peter Pan was actually super old, right? But in Never Never Land, he and his friends stayed lost boys forever, and they probably thought "Open Letter" was really mature.

Back to show us how it's really done is WD40 himself, Whirlwind D. His latest record is a straight forward, two-song 12", titled Bristol Built. The opener, "Late Night Rhyme" is simply described as "tales of late night digging," but it's really a slice of life-style manifesto on the genuine experiences of a hip-hop fiend who hasn't forsaken his devotion in favor of the safe R&B or classic rock of your average middle-aged conformist.

"Passing time as I nod my head,
Interrupted by a child who won't go to bed.
Read another story or a glass of milk
Then back to the beat that's smooth as silk.
The needle skips in the run-out groove;
Choose some more wax; my mind's in the mood.
Classic Cold Chillin' is the order of the day,
Shan or Kane, can't decide which way.
...I hear the door slam;
Four hours in the room when I had planned
To spend an evening with my dearest wife."

This song is a very breezy listen. It feels really short even though it's a full three plus minutes, because D's just kicking a non-stop rolling flow over an uptempo but soulful beat by Mr. Fantastic. There's no hook except for the briefest scratch interludes which pay homage to the classic records he references in his verses, a perfect choice.

So as the A-side is a portrait of life as it is for a grown head now, the B-side is a look back at the way we were. "Star" is a cleverly misleading title... clever in that it's actually perfectly straight-forward and descriptive once you realize it doesn't mean what you think it means, plus the way it subverts the meaning of the staple vocal sample, "the star of the show." Anyway, this time around Whilrwind D shares the mic with Truck of Beat Route 38 (Mr. Fantastic's old group), to relive their pasts. They start with their childhoods as they discovered the genre ("BMX bikers, rough rhyme reciters, poppin' really badly, hangin' out with the writers. Biters we were, always buyin' ninja weapons") and ultimately document their origins as MCs.

I don't think WD needed the assistance of a second narrative on this song; he's more than compelling enough on his own. But Truck's voice does sound quite nice when he jumps on the instrumental. So the only real flaw I found is how Sir Beanz OBE just gets on at the end to add some super fresh scratches. Those scratches aren't my complaint, don't get me wrong; they're great. But he should've been on the track all along, for each hook. Because as it is, the hook is kinda flat, repetitive and lacking exactly what he's providing. It's still a very solid song, but that's no small detail.

Another thing we can always rely on WD for is presentation. Bristol Built comes on a high-quality pressing, fully loaded with instrumentals and acapellas in a phat picture cover. Each copy also includes a poster, a sticker and a press sheet. And it's only £8.99, so support. Because it's more responsible to listen to a record about staying up all night playing rap songs than actually doing so when you know you've got to get up for work in the morning.


*But in all seriousness, IU, you're on fire right now and we don't want you to change a thing. Just press it on wax.

Cool C Money

(Youtube version is here.)

Rappers Defending Pigs

The title of this post probably sounds like I'm making fun of something or someone, but no. It's really an accurate description of today's subject. Apparently we've come a long way from MCs like Krs rapping, "Some eat swine, better known as also pork. They stab it and they stab it 'till they get it on their fork. The first one to say there's nothing wrong with the pig - but haven't you seen the way this animal lives?" He's not just repping vegetarianism (although he often extols the benefits of such); dude has something serious against pigs. And he certainly wasn't alone in referring to pigs as dirty animals and such. But that was then. Today we're looking at a collection of disparate rappers have come together to defend pigs.

Specifically what we have here is a DVD called Woof! Think About It released by PETA2 in 2003. I'm sure we all know about the organization PETA; but I had to do a bit of online research to figure out specifically what PETA2 is. Turns out they are a division of of PETA (it's not a whole separate group of people or anything) aimed specifically at people aged 13-21; and apparently they're highly (primarily?) active on the Warped Tours.

So, now, this DVD isn't exclusively hip-hop focused. It features the involvement of all sorts of artists I've mostly never heard of, but I guess are the sort of rock bands that you would've found on Warped Tour in 2003. But there is a surprisingly high percentage of hip-hop artists featured, and the DVD menu even has an option that lets you to view just the hip-hop stuff. So let's do it!

But we can't actually get to the menu without watching a four minute intro video detailing the premise of this disc. It's spelled out very clearly, written in all caps onscreen alongside an animated pig: "THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PIGS AND DOGS IS THE WAY WE TREAT THEM." It may be tempting to point out some of the many obvious differences between pigs and dogs (One's Canis and one's Suidae! Their noses are different!, etc), but let's be mature about this. The idea is that pigs are lovable as dogs, and if you treat your pet dog lovingly, you should feel guilty about slaughtering pigs for food. Got it, okay. There are other blogs interested in this subject matter, but not this one, so... skipping to the rappers!

First up is Chuck D. There's a quick shot of him performing on stage (presumably at Warped Tour, doing a soft, funk-guitar driven version of "Fight the Power") followed by a backstage/outdoors interview, all watermarked with PETA2's website. His whole segment is only 92 seconds, and the sound quality is terrible... I think they're just using the camera's built-in mic, or something else omnidirectional, so the band playing off-screen is almost drowning out Chuck.  All very quick and amateur. Chuck tells us the only animal he eats is fish and he cut out eating other meats while touring in the 80s because it required so much physical stamina, and something I can't make out about corporations that sell meat.

Next up is the Cool Kids, and they've at least pulled these guys into some little private corner somewhere so we can hear them better. But we still hear the concert, In fact, they've added a generic hip-hop beat to the clip, to drown out the background noise and smooth out the rough edits; but it just winds up muddying together, to create a weird, unlistenable mess of murky rock and weak hip-hop. Anyway, the Kids themselves talk about how fur coats are usually dirty and, "like, beat up a cat, or like kill a cat or something, you know, those are usually more towards the people that will end up killing people." The whole thing's only about two minutes long.

The Grouch and uncredited lady friend

So, anyway, you get the idea. The rest of the clips are pretty much the same. We've got Dead Prez (actually just Stic), POS and Sims of Doomtree (who seem to have been filmed when the concert was just being set up, so the sound is clearer), several members of Living Legends (LuckyIAm, Aesop, The Grouch, Murs - who can't be heard at all - and Bicasso) and Masta Killa (whose clip is labeled as "B-Roll" even though it looks to be the same as everybody else's). Finally, we end with a clip of Sage Francis, which is actually a bit more substantial. The sound is cheap but audible, the clip is longer (almost four minutes!), and the edits are semi-professional. If you actually picked this DVD up because you wanted to hear one of your favorite artists talk about vegetarianism and the meat packing industry, I'd say this is the only clip that won't leave you disappointed.

I feel like InstaRapFlix has been resurrected, because this whole thing is just another non-project like Thug Holiday Uncut, DJ Demp: Dirty for Life or Slip N Slide - Memorial Day Weekend. Rappers are cornered at shows for quick, low-quality soundbites where they have nothing prepared to say and you can't hear them say it anyway. It's the cheapest, non-professional equipment (back when there was a much greater division between professional cameras and personal use stuff) by people who don't know how to use it (beginners, please at least remember this basic "signal to noise" rule: keep your mic close to the person talking), and no direction. Nothing against the rappers themselves here (although the Cool Kids, do kinda come off like a pair of idiots), but on one hand it's actually a good thing these clips are so short, because they're so painful to sit through.

I took a quick peak at some of the artists' clips from other genres... some are much better quality. For the Fall Out Boy and Anti-Flag interviews, for example, they're on a set, the interviewer has a mic, the video quality is far superior... They're longer and look like typical MTV interviews. There's also a lot more of them. And there are also other, more general PETA videos on here, like Chew On This or Meet Your Meat, which are decidedly more professionally produced, which somebody clearly spent actual time putting together. And unlike the other DVDs mentioned a paragraph ago, this one was, I believe, given away for free by PETA (though somebody clearly tried to sell this copy for $4), so you can't really call this a rip-off like those were. Just a cheap piece of crap, which also had a lot less novelty value than I was hoping for. Oh well.

Willie D Vs. Willie D

Iphone scams may not be the only crime Willie D committed (seriously, I can't abide EBay scammers). How about that time he sold us all the same album twice? Remember that? In 2000, he released Loved By Few, Hated By Many on Rap-A-Lot and Virgin Records. Then, in 2001, he released it again on his own label, Relentless, under the title... Relentless. But, strictly speaking, they're not exactly the same. There are a couple variations. So you know I've got to make a post breaking it all down and figuring out exactly what's what on both versions, right?

Okay, on first glance, Loved is eighteen tracks long and Relentless is only fifteen. So a couple must've got lost along the way. Out of those, thirteen songs are exactly the same on both albums. I mean, their titles might be slightly different... The single "Freaky Deaky" featuring Pimp C, his cousin NaNa, and a poor variation of Donna Summer's "Love To Love You Baby" for the hook, was renamed "The Real (Freaky Deaky)" the second time around. But by direct comparison, they're exactly the same song. Oh, and his cousin changed her name to Nay Nay at the same time. But, anyway, all the rest of the corresponding titles seem to be a hundred percent identical, so there's no question which ones are which. The sequencing is different to help disguise that fact they're presenting the same material twice; but that's it. Listening to both albums in a row, none seem to be alternate remixes or anything like that; they're the exact same songs.

Taking those thirteen songs out of the equation, then, we're left with two apparently unique songs on Relentless and five on Loved. That's even less exciting when you remember that Loved had skits on it. "A Friend" and "The Sickness" were completely forgettable time wasters, exclusive though they were, which frankly were no loss for Relentless. So that means Loved is down to three unique songs.

Now let's get down to tacks and look at 'em one by one.

Loved By Few, Hated By Many exclusives:

1) If I Was White - Lyrically, this song is interesting. He makes valid points but without losing the quintessential Willie D personality. Unfortunately, the instrumental is limp and the hook is lame with really weak background vocals (except the parts where he rants... those are great). A remix of this could be a lot of fun, but as it is, it's just an alright album track.

2) Pusscndclick - This one's funny and the instrumental's still pretty soft but more interesting than "If I Was White." Most of this hook works better, with a bunch of girls taunting, "pussy 'n' my clique, pussy 'n' my clique; I got a motherfucking pussy 'n' my clique." And again, Willie has some really compelling rhymes in his verses (he definitely hadn't lost it as an MC). A remix would go a long way on this one, too; and for some reason he lets his crew member talk some annoying BS over a lot of the track (I almost thought they were suggesting he was the pussy of the song at first!).  But overall, it's a good 'un.

3) I'll Make You Famous - This one features Willie going harder, but production-wise at least, it doesn't go nearly far enough. The beat's decent enough to just listen along to without minding; but definitely nothing to get amped over.

Relentless exclusives:

1) Relentless - This one's harder than "I'll Make You Famous," but still could go a lot farther, too. The track feels low budget, and not in that pure, raw Hip-Hop way that's exciting. It's also his posse cut to showcase his new Relentess line-up, including Nay Nay. It has a sung chorus (presumably an R&B chick he was also managing), which would probably sound good on a lusher track.

2) Willie Dennis - The hardest one, kinda, with more of a classically gangsta rap instrumental. Willie D's rhymes about people trying to censor gangsta rap seem like they're left over from the early 90s, but not early enough that they sound like classic Geto Boys album tracks. It's okay, but feels a little phoned in.

A running theme you must've caught onto there is that the production consistently let Willie D down. That actually runs through the whole album(s). Willie D was showing and proving as an MC, but the instrumentals just weren't going to excite anyone outside of his most forgiving fanbase. It's a shame, because I think Willie could've blown up with this. An attention-grabbing single, some serious hardcore beats (Rick Rubin, come back!) and a nice push from Virgin could've revitalized his career for another long stretch. He really had what it took, but all these instrumentals were average at best. And there's too much good music out there for heads to waste their time with average, let alone sub-par.

But if you are a big enough WIllie D fan to buy this album anyway (and why shouldn't you be? Willie D merits that kind of fan devotion), which version should you pick? Well, unfortunately, none of the exclusive songs are strong enough to make a big case for either one. I'd say Loved By Few, Hated By Many, because the best of the five ("Pusscndclick") is on that version, plus it has one extra. But if you already have one, it's really not worth tracking down the other unless you're a serious completist. Whichever version you come across first, or whichever one you see cheaper, is the one to own.

Lost Portals To Secret Realms

Where IS it? Damn it. Way back in 2010, Creative Juices Music released a sampler album with a couple very tantalizing songs by UG of the Cella Dwellas. "Taken from the forthcoming album: Portals," it said. Wow, not only were we finally getting the first solo full-length from UG, but after listening tot he songs, it was clear he was reclaiming his crazily creative  mystical style! By 2011, Portals was being announced all over the blogosphere... videos of UG in the studio were posted... it had (and still has) a "coming soon" page on ughh. They even had an exact date - May 17th. Creative Juices had it listed on their website and every email blast if you were on their mailing list. It was there... and there... and there... It was there all the way until Spring of 2012, when it wasn't there anymore.

Well, I contacted Creative Juices and asked them about it. They gave this disappointing reply, "Since its been there for over a year we decided to take it down until we knew more about what was going on. Thanks."

If you look at Creative's output from 2010-2012, UG was all over it. He's got mad cameo verses and guest spots. He had a couple more songs on their second sampler album in 2012. That album unfortunately didn't specify which projects each song was from, so it's hard to say if any were intended for Portals or just guest spots... Well actually, "We Not Playing" wound up on an Ide album. Even one of the "taken from Portals" songs from the first sampler, "Scripts and Scrolls" eventually wound up being placed on Ide & Alucard's latest album.

Remember the announced return of the Cella Dwellas, too? Where they were doing a reunion album with Nick Wiz? They had a video and everything. It's been a long time since we heard anything about that, too.

Did UG just disappear? His twitter hasn't been updated since 2001. It feels like the UG appearances we were seeing by 2012 were stuff recorded for Portals and Creative Juices just stuck them on other projects rather than let them go to waste. I mean, look at that ad. The album was to be produced by Ide and feature Ill Bill... then there's a song with UG and Ill Bill on Ide's Rite of Passage album? That's gotta be a Portals song. Dude could've dropped off long before his material quit dropping.

And it's especially frustrating because Portals seemed so right for him. Creative Juices has great production that's perfectly suited for UG's voice and exotic lyrical content. I mean, let's face it, some of their core artists are really just guys emulating UG's lyric-writing. But he was still the master. The stuff we heard of him on CJ was some of the best we've heard from him since the Dwellas first came out in the early 90s. Were some of his 12"s or mixtapes a little below par through the late 80s and early 2000s? Yeah, okay. But this album was setting to become a return to form... and that's not just speculation, because we got to hear some of it. Granted, I would've preferred a Necro-produced beat for UG than a verse for his album; but overall this was going to be a great album.

So where is he? Where's Portals? I'd start calling hospitals, except I'm starting to think those calls should've been made back in 2011. But seriously, I want answers. Somebody must know something.

The Obscure Debut of Rick Ross

Before I begin today's post, I'd just like to point out that I managed to resist the urge to title this entry: The Young & Rossless. You're all welcome.
 

Rick Ross blew up off of the song "Hustlin'." It came out independently on Slip N Slide and Poe Boy Entertainment in 2005, and that's what got him signed to Def Jam. They gave it a much wider release in 2006, Ross dropped his first album, and love him or hate him, you all know the rest after that. You surely also knew he was working as a prison guard before he blew up, because that story was broadcast any and everywhere until the press finally caught on that nobody cared. But he was also doing music for years before "Hustlin'." A quick look at discogs, and you'll see he has credits going back to 2002, including appearances on albums by Trick Daddy, Cognito, Cash Money Millionaires, and Trina's song from the All About the Benjamins soundtrack. But he actually goes even a bit farther back than that; his origins actually date back to being put on by one of the Young & Restless.

Young & Restless broke up after their second album (though they had plans to come together for a reunion album at one point); but both members stayed in the game. Dr. Ace put out solo records under the names Da Real One ("U Like Pina Coloada" on La Face) and Mr. Charlie, and became the front man for Southern Conference. And Prince P. scored a solo hit with "Give Me '50 Feet" (the "boom boom skeet skeet" song), before recording his debut full-length in 2001, The Power of Dollars. And that album features not one, but two songs (plus a skit) with guest verses by the then unknown Rick Ross. Yeah, P.O.D. put him on. Notice how Ross's first 12" of "Hustlin'" came out on Poe Boy Entertainment? Well, that's the label P.O.D. came out on; he was their lead artist and the first album they produced. In fact, the guy who ran Poe Boy (and still does... Flo Rida is their main artist now), E-Class, was P.O.D.'s producer all the way back on "50 Feet." Eventually, E-Class became Ross's manager and started the bidding war that ended with Ross being a major artist on Def Jam.

So, Rick Ross is on two songs here, you say? If you've got this CD in your hands, I couldn't blame you for being confused. The track-listing names some of the guests, but not others. They even leave out the most famous guest star at the time, Trick Daddy ...though as you see, he's mentioned on the front cover. So yes, don't let the incomplete credits fool you; he's on two songs (plus a skit).

The first song is "Wise Guys," a mafia-themed gangsta track just like its title suggests... not so much P.O.D.'s element (though I believe a major goal of this album was to show that he was versatile), but it's pure Rick Ross. It also features Brisco, who's still down with Ross to this day. It's a decent song, with an energetic and engaging, sample-free beat, and each MC bringing a fast and furious flow. P.O.D. actually comes the tightest lyrically, but Ross gets attention with his commanding voice. Disappointingly, though, some of the rhymes mumble their way into the depths of the sound-mix, and it has a hook about how they don't have a hook, which is the same stupid thing Shaq did in 1994, only worse, because this is a more distinct and refined, clearly delineated rhyming hook. It's still a good listen, though, and sure to please any Ross fan. I mean, who but Ross would come up with a diss like "ya little jet ski bums?" Some enunciation, or at least printed lyrics in the booklet, would've gone a long way, though.

Even better, though, is the next one, which is either titled "Somethings Going On" or "Something Going On." See? I told you the track-listing was messed up. Anyway, after a short skit with Rick calling the Prince on his phone ("this is Ricky with a 'Y;' what's goin' on?"), a massive, massive beat drops in. Produced by Spida Man, who also did "Wise Guys," it's one of the ultimate examples of Miami-style sample-free production, with deep bass, kicking drums, spacey key riffs and fake but powerful horns. An uncredited girl sings an ultra-catchy hook, plus subtle background work for the verses by P.O.D., Trick Daddy and Rick Ross. This song's not so much on the gangsta tip, though of course Ross can't help himself: The other two MC's are just coolly boasting about their lifestyles as rappers, "Ain't no caviar dealers for the Daddy Dollars; I'd rather eat chicken wings and collards. I'd rather drive my Impala, smoke and pop bottles; King of Miami, me, Mister Dollars. I be thinkin' 'bout runnin' for mayor, boy; look here. If I win that shit change 'round here!" It's just one of those songs you can put on repeat and listen to over and over.

"Something(s) Going On" was eventually discovered by Complex Mag, which listed it as one of The Top 50 Miami Rap Songs (also click there for an audio sample). But it appears nobody on the internet has figured out that Ross actually debuted on two songs here; and both are hot. This is what lead to his collaborations with Trick Daddy, Trina and those guys, his management, and the take off of his whole career. I'm not sure what led to P.O.D. dropping out of the picture just as everything was taking off, however. I keep hoping to at least see Ross throw him on a posse cut.

Update 4/29/13: Whoa! It turns out Ross's career actually dates even a little farther back than I realized. As has been most helpfully pointed out in the comments, Ross is featured under the name Teflon da Don on Erick Sermon's Erick Onasis album on Dreamworks from 2000. Seeing the track-listing back in the day, most of us probably just assumed it was that Teflon guy who was down with MOP, but there's no question it's our guy. We all know Rick often refers to himself as the Teflon don, and he shouts out his Carol City Cartel on the track. Plus, his voice and style are just unmistakably the Ross we know today. The song itself, entitled "Ain't Shhh To Discuss," is, eh, okay - definitely underwhelming compared to the P.O.D. tracks. The production is mellower and kinda limp, Ross's verse is pretty solid but the other guys really aren't bringing their A game here. It's absolutely notable as Ross's debut, but otherwise I wouldn't rate it much above album filler.

I never picked up this album back in the day (hence the cameo slipping under my radar, I suppose); I just grabbed the 12" with Slick Rick and ran... too many ill-advised east/west collabos with Eazy-E, DJ Quik, Xzibit, Too $hort (again!) and Suave House Productions. Nothing against those artists; but their styles were just too divergent to mesh well with the Def Squad's. And if you're wondering what the heck a then completely unknown Rick Ross is doing on an Erick Sermon album, that last collaboration explains it. "Ain't Shhh" was produced by Suave House; and any Ross fan can tell you about Rise To Power. That's the Ross album that came out after Port of Miami, but featured older, unreleased material he recorded for Suave House years before. In fact, you'll notice the third guy on this track, Noah, is also featured on a couple Rise To Power numbers. So it makes sense when you connect the dots.

This revelation had me going through my old Suave House tapes looking for even older Teflon appearances; but even though I'm far from having everything on that label (not that much of a fan, TBH) I really think this is it this time. ...Or is it? Will someone turn up a Rick Ross verse from - gasp! - the 90s?

Yvette's Revenge

THE LEGEND

To tell the story of Yvette's Revenge, we have to get into the history of Yvette. Both Grandmaster Caz of The Cold Crush Brothers and LL Cool J dropped songs about a girl named Yvette in 1985. I think some people think of LL Cool J's coming first, because he was the bigger artist on what would become a major label (Def Jam), and it may actually have been released first. But Caz's record, on Tuff City, was just the latest (not the last, as we'll see later) step on a long road for his "Yvette" song. It's a classic rap \of his that he'd regularly break out at shows back in the day. If you want a more concrete confirmation, just check out the Cold Crush album All the Way Live In '82, which features Caz performing this song right at the end. 'It just so happened that the year Caz finally preserved it on wax was the year LL featured his take on his debut album, Radio. And there's no question LL would've been familiar with Caz's version; he's always name-checked Caz as a major influence whenever the question arose, and even featured Caz on his last album. I'm sure LL's song was meant to be a follow-up, really an answer record, to Caz's.

Caz's song is a fun, light-hearted narrative rap about what happens when he hooks up with a girl. It was possibly the number one punchline rap back in the day... I won't spoil it here (go listen to it if you've never heard it), and I'm sure it doesn't hold up as strongly today now that the novelty value of surprising punchlines has long faded from hip-hop; but hearing it for the first time back in the early 80's was a real "holy shit!" moment. And probably more importantly, it's a precursor to these girl story raps, a la "Roxanne, Roxanne," "Evon Is On," "Oh Sally," etc. Sure, by the time Tuff City actually got it out there, it wasn't so ground-breaking. But again, if you think back to when Caz first started doing it, that was ground-breaking. Furious Five, Soulsonic, Sugarhill Gang... none of those guys had anything like that. The opening verse of Spoonie Gee's "Love Rap" is really thing I can think of that got into the same territory back then; but he changes course after that first part.

So anyway, LL's song is a response, a sort of open letter to this girl named Yvette who he heard (from Caz's song, right?) that she gets around. I've seen it described as a message song about teenage promiscuity, but let's face it; it's really an excuse to come up with lots of funny ways to call a girl a slut: "They say you're a man-eater during the full moon - mascot of the senior boys' locker room. They said Yvette walked in, there wasn't too much rap, her reputation got bigger, and so did her gap." You've really got to have your Apologist's cap on tight to try to spin it as a positive song for girls; but this was young LL making a young record for an equally young audience. Nobody bought this tape in '85 looking for a feminist manifesto.

But here's where it all starts to come together... While, like I said, the original "Yvette" easily pre-dates "Roxanne, Roxanne" and clearly inspired it, the Yvette records didn't come out until the infamous Roxanne Wars were in full swing. Roxanne Shanté, The Real Roxanne, Sparky D and dozens of novelty acts were already hip deep in answer records .So to have a pair of major rap records, one mainstream and one underground, with a new girl's name on it, you know a new female rapper had to come out of the woodwork, adopt the name, and make an answer record as a vehicle to jump start her own career!

THE DISS

Introducing E-Vette (presumably because they figured kids looking for records by Yvette would look under 'E'?) Money, coming out of Philadelphia in 1986 with her version of "Roxanne's Revenge," naturally titled "E-Vette's Revenge" on Slice Records... the same label that put out "Do the Roxanne" by Doctor Rocx and Co. With her DJ, Kydd Freshh, E-Vette makes it perfectly clear who she's responding to and why, "Mr. Cool J, I heard you wrote me a letter. I wasn't gonna answer it, but then I thought I better. E-Vette, that's me. Cool J, you'll see that no one gets away from what you said about me!"

"E-Vette's Revenge" features big, programmed drums with almost the same pattern as LL';s, but a lot more echo-y. And the hook is delivered in the exact same cadence and style as LL's, with a chorus of girls instead of guys, changing "dear... Yvette, dear Yvette. Dear Yvette, Dear... E... Vette" to "You'll... regret, what you said. You'll regret, fuck them, Yvette!" Yeah, for all its suggestive talk, LL's song is free of any curse-words; but not Yvette's, she curses all over her diss. "I really don't know how this shit began, but to clarify this letter, I will - goddamn! First, not last, I will say this: LL Cool J, you know where to kiss!" She even goes in on his crew:

"I remember the time I first met ya, L;
Downstairs of the lobby of a damn hotel.
You, Cut Creator, Rick and Earl
Was explainin' to the world why you don't like girls.
'Guys fuck better!' you said real loud,
And suddenly, J, you attract a crowd.
Pretty pink men in their pink pleather pants
Dragged you and Cut Creator by the ass for a dance.
The lights went down, not a moment too soon,
And suddenly it got real hot in the room!
I heard a few moans and some voices said [or something. Those last couple words are hard to make out],
'LL Cool's gay so we fucked 'im from the back'!"

Pretty much her whole song boils down to denouncing LL as gay. Sure, she's basically just replacing misogyny with homophobia; but you've clearly gotten lost if you've come to these records expecting anything P.C. This is the 80s, these are teens, and these are some pretty hardcore diss records. Get the stick out and enjoy!

There's a couple versions on this 12": Vocal, Dub and Street. The Vocal version is actually a clean version with altered vocals... for example, "downstairs of the lobby of a damn hotel" becomes "downstairs of the lobby of The Hilton hotel." The Street mix on side B, then, is the dirty version. And the Dub is pretty self explanatory, but it's worth listening to just once because there's some guy on there (Kydd Freshh?) constantly calling LL an asshole and other profanities during practically the whole mix.

THE AFTERMATH

So, of course the Yvette saga didn't quite explode like the Roxanne sage, but there were a couple more entries in later years. In 1991, Grandmaster Caz hooked up with Malcolm McLaren and the Worlds Famous Supreme Team to re-record "Yvette" as a single on Virgin Records. It's got a crazy hook, totally different instrumental track and an all new title, but it's the same rap. This time they called it "Romeo and Juliet" because they were making a Shakespeare-themed record (if that sounds weird, it was - read the whole story of that project here). And Master Ace recorded his own answer record, also called "Dear Yvette" for his 2001 album, Disposable Arts  It's kind of the anti-promiscuity sermonizing some people pretended the LL song was.

And just like Shanté, Roxanne, and Sparky, E-Vette (as well as Icey Jaye, The Ghetto Girlz, Salt N Pepa, Anquette, etc etc) did use the attention garnered from her debut answer record as a springboard to record more, unrelated records of her own. She dropped a couple more 12"s on Slice before getting signed to 4th and Broadway Records. They put out one single on her in 1988, but her album never came out. She hung in the industry for a while longer (she has a verse on Lorenzo Smith's first album, way before he was with Luke); but unless she changed her name, that's the end of the story. You couldn't really count on a second Roxanne-level phenomenon. But if nothing else, we got a fun, early LL Cool J diss record out of it that's definitely worth keeping in the back of your crates.

Def, But Lost In Time and Space, Beats

(Youtube version is here.)

From Dopeland To Jersey; What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Almost any other record would be eclipsed by this story. Pretty much an exact year ago, GoodFelons Records announced one of their most exciting upcoming projects, Kev E Kev and Ak B's Welcome To Dopeland. GoodFelons was a good little label that was releasing limited vinyl of some exotic, old school hip-hop that never got the proper vinyl treatment back in the day. You may remember my review of that sweet Mood EP last year, that packed their first two 12"s with some previously unreleased bangers. Well, this may've been their most desirable release yet, so a lot of us heads quickly pre-ordered and waited... and waited... and waited.

The release date was pushed back. Okay, that shit happens. Then it was pushed back again. Then the label stopped replying to emails or posting updates on their facebook or twitter. People who'd ordered other records never got their wax. There were rumors... one of the guys who ran the label wasn't returning the other guy's calls... Donte (of Mood) announced that he never got paid... Hurricane Katrina possibly messed up their computers... there was a crazy mafia drug connection?!  Seriously, click here, then here, spot the common name and draw your own conclusions.

Whatever the Hell had gone on behind the scenes, the Goodfelons' store closed, everyone who'd paid was out some serious cash and worst of all, this fantastic and important piece of art was lost to the world. But enterprising diggers have an amazing knack for connecting with their precious vinyl, which must never be underestimated. The record plant that pressed the vinyl was discovered, and what's more, the Welcome To Dopeland EPs were there! In a box, waiting to be paid for.by the MIA head of Goodfelons. They wouldn't sell them to us, the people who'd already paid for their records, but at least they existed; they were somewhere in the world, so there was hope we might eventually see them.

Well, after some frantic lawyering, Kev E Kev was able to wrestle the records free and into the secure - and overseas - arms of Diggers With Gratitude. And faster than anyone could say, "throw me the idle; I throw you the whip," they got the records into the arms of us who'd been dying for them since last April. It would have to be a pretty damn good record to be worth all of that, wouldn't it?  Well, thankfully and impressively, I can now say: this baby was worth it.

This here is the definitive Kev E Kev and Ak B record. Label-mates of Super Lover Cee and Casanova Rud, these guys released two highly regarded 12"s ("Listen To the Man" and "Keep On Doin'") in the late 80s - both of which are included here. Like their DNA International brethren, this features that brilliantly crisp and funky sounds of Paul C, who mixed, engineered and co-produced just about everything on here.

But this release goes far beyond just re-issuing their classic singles. It also features four, previously unreleased Kev E Kev and Ak B tracks, all also produced by Paul C. And three of them are fantastic... I'm a bit soft on "Protected," which has Ak B kicking a different, smoother style over a boring lead sample. Kev's cuts definitely elevate matters, and it's a well written song... but I'd file that one under Good rather than Great. But the other three are everything you could hope for... the title track may actually be better than their known hits.

Oh, and that's not everything on here. Rounding out this EP is "Out for the Count," which originally appeared on Marley Marl's In Control vol. 2, which introduced Kev and Ak to an international audience. It's a banger that had us all hoping they'd be in the second wave Juice Crew roster. Oh, and it's not just the album version we all remember from 1991; it's a never-before-released Extended Mix.

And Goodfelons really did this release up right, too.  Limited to 350 copies, 75 copies were pressed red, 75 are yellow (yellow, which I went with because I thought it matched the label colors more) and the remaining 200 are standard black. The labels feature a fun rendition of the Goodfelons' name in the style of the old DNA logo, and as you see, it comes in a sweet picture cover. An even more limited (250 copies) Instrumental version was also released, in a sticker cover and pressed on wild "splatter" color vinyl.

Honestly, as proactively and doggedly as I've been following the story since day 1, I still don't know enough of what went on behind the scenes to say whether Goodfelons deserves the degree of ill will they've garnered from this mess. Were they just a little label that went bust because their reach exceeded their grasp, or a surprisingly aptly named criminal outfit? I understand that one of the guys from Goodfelons actually played a role in freeing these records from the label and getting them to Kev; and they obviously put this great project together in the first place. And I don't know if DWG has anymore room for goodwill after all they've amounted over the years, but if they do, they've certainly earned it with their efforts here. This is probably the end of the Goodfelons label, but looking at this record now, I think everyone involved with this record deserves a round of applause - it went on a heck of a wild journey, but came out as what we'll surely look back on as one of the top releases of the year.

The Cold Crush Vs Punk Rock

(Youtube version is here.)

The Retail Ginacana Story

So, I've done a couple posts on Kool G Rap's somewhat infamous sixth album... The Unreleased Giancana Story, about all the mp3 leaks, The Other Giancana Story, about the bootlegged Rawkus version, and a post about "Holla Back," one of the best and most important tracks from the album. Well, today I'd like to touch on the actual, official, final version that was released by Koch in 2003. Because, while I can't exactly say it gets an unfair rap - most of the criticisms leveled against it are valid - it does have some under-appreciated qualities. And, much like pizza, sex and Ingmar Bergman films... even "bad" Kool G Rap albums are good.

The important thing to remember about this album is the position Koch was in when they released it. This was an album Rawkus had already dropped the ball on. They'd been dangling it in front of fans' faces for years, and then collapsed before they could actually release it. But not before, as my previous posts have detailed, it could leak online. In fact, it leaked more than once, with alternate track-listings as the album was still being worked on, and then re-worked on to address its commercial viability after the initial leaks. The hardcore Kool G Rap fans already had the bootleg double LP on wax. So what did they do?

They actually went about it exactly the way I would've hoped a label would.  Instead of just repressing the bootleg and calling it official, they went back through all of the G Rap's vaulted and focused on the as-yet unheard and unreleased material. Most labels would've just tried to sell us the same material we already had.  I know I wouldn't have bothered getting that. But no, Koch really took the right, commendable approach in my eyes, and dug up what we didn't already have. Sure, they kept the signature Giancana tracks... the biggest single, the amazing "Black Widow" track, his awesome Jinx duet and "Holla Back" (minus Nas, but I'm sure that's because they couldn't afford him, not because they somehow imagined the song would be better without him). You just couldn't call it The Giancana Story without those. But so much on the album, after being booted and leaked to high heaven, was new to our ears. They actually managed to put together another record that belonged in the collections of a G Rap fan in 2003.

Just think of it a Bootlegs and B-Sides compilation, a la Ice Cube. Yeah, the Rawkus version is easily the better of the two Giancana Story's... it's got the Premiere remix, the awesome track with CNN... If you only get one version of Giancana story, absolutely get that one. In fact, if you've heard the Koch version back in the days and were unimpressed, I recommend you go back and find the bootleg album; I think you'll be impressed.

...But if you really appreciate KGR, there's no reason to limit yourself to just one Giancana. This version features a couple of the earlier singles, like "Streets" and "My Life," which the Rawkus version for some reason left off, and eschews the lame Snoop collabo in favor of a far grittier team-up with Havoc called "Thug Chronicles," which features some amazing bars from the Kool Genius. It's got "It's Nothin'" with Joel Ortiz, though he only gets to do the hook because G Rap just can't stop spitting amazing lines long enough to pass the mic.

And yeah, there's some weaker stuff, too... "Fight Club" has G Rap and Ma Barker catering to some club styles of the time, and the production on "Drama" really doesn't live up to the MC. Even tracks with a more traditional NY-style, like "Thug for Life," are still pretty weak in the production department compared to the jewels he'd been blessed with from guys like Marley, Extra P and Sir Jinx throughout his career. But they're still preferable to songs we already owned, and like I was saying above... G Rap at his worst still easily outshines music recorded by most MCs at their best. And for every no-name produced track, there's another by Rockwilder, Mike Heron or Buckwild. I'll still take this out of my crates and spin it any day of the week.

Koch gave this a nice, double LP treatment, so there's not much to complain about. No, I wouldn't rate most of the material here alongside his classics, but I still wouldn't want to be without it. And I'm grateful Koch rescued some stuff from the vaults that otherwise surely would've gone forever unheard otherwise, second tier or not.

Picture Discs!

(Youtube version is here.)

Youtube Vs. Werner and Fair Use Law

So I, or rather my Youtube channel, was just made the focus of a fairly extensive article on the site fairusetube.org. Apparently, Youtube has a hitherto unknown contract with UMG (Universal Music Group), and possibly other labels, to ignore DMCA counter-notifications regarding videos that involve their content.  And I was unlucky enough to be one of the first test-cases, I guess. In other words, Youtube is ignoring Fair Use law because labels are paying them to.

The article explains it much better than I am, so please, have a read. And if you don't know much about copyright law and how it applies to the 'net, DMCAs, etc, browse around the rest of the site; it's an excellent, educational resource.

Update! Torrentfreak.com has picked up the story. They interviewed me and did some more research on their own.  Check it out here. Hopefully, this leads to us getting some information, so people could know what YT will and won't support.

A second update! (I hope you brought your reading glasses): Techdirt has picked up the story, too.  You can read it here.

Lucky update #3: The Daily Dot just interviewed me for a new article covering the on-going story.  Check it out here. I don't really expect we'll convince Youtube or UMG to get right on this issue (though that would be great), but we should at least find out what these contracts are, who they're with, and which Fair Use videos Youtube won't protect as a consequence.

Howzabout a fourth update?: PCMag has picked up the story; you can read it here. 

The Force Is Slammin'

I appreciated Tha Grimm Teachaz project, and "Loco-Motive" was hot... but what if you're trapped in the 80s? Jurassic 5 was live, but they took it all the way back to the 70s. I know, you want that Sleeping Bag vibe. I know because so do I. Well, have I got the throwback rap project for the both of us: The Force Is Slammin' EP by Rime Force Most Illin'.

Rime Force Most illin' is the latest project from Sacred Hoop's Luke Sick, and partner in rhyme Rob Rush. Last summer, I posted about their Supalove prelude tape, which featured a DJ mix of a couple of their upcoming tracks on side A, and a live show on the flip. Well, the project they were building to is finally here, another killer cassette tape (of course!) release on Mega Kut. And, actually, it's pretty much all new material. I was expecting all the songs we heard on the mix side of Supalove to be here, just in full, unblended versions, but no. The original mp3 ("On Dope") they dropped on the 'net when they first announced the group is here; but otherwise, it's all different stuff on both tapes. We did hear live versions of some of these songs on side 2 of Supalove; but the tracks from the mix are all exclusive to that tape, so hope you picked that one up!

But if you did sleep on that tape, at least make sure you don't sleep on this one (and hey, you can still get the mp3s from their bandcamp), because this in no way disappoints. It's just a six-song EP; but it's so damn good, I'm kinda glad they didn't risk diluting it by adding five or six more songs. Now, the production credits aren't too clear... they tell us Fatees, Vrse Murphy, Proe, G-Pek and Rob Rush produced the tracks (and DJ Quest did the cuts), but they don't specify who did which ones (though I think I can guess one that Vrse did!). Regardless, for all the chefs involved, this tape has a more consistently old school feel than the Supalove tape. It's less a blending of the Gurp City and 80s style, and more like Rob and Luke just went back in time to record with The Tuff Crew.

The opener, "Biggest Party of the Century" is perhaps the best example. Constant cuts, hand claps, cowbell, familiar samples... but all crazy hardcore. And it ends with a perfect breakdown at the end where they declare, "now check out my boy as he imitates Prince," and Quest cuts up a signature guitar riff."Rime Force Most Illin'" has more of a west coast influence, and "We Get the Most Props" has a fast-paced rolling bassline that sounds like something DWG should be preserving. "On Dope" shakes things up with a bold, strident piano loop over its crackly drum track; and the title track has a great rudimentary, random rap feel to it. The only track that doesn't really fit the mold is "Rawhide," but you have to forgive it, because it's a masterpiece of instrumental and cinematic samples; one of those songs where as soon as it's over, you rewind it back because you just have to hear it again.

This limited edition tape is available for only $5 from rimeforcemostillin.com, and that includes a downloadable mp3 version as well, so there is really no reason for anyone not to get this. If we're chatting six months from now and you tell me this isn't in your collection, iw ill literally be disappointed in you. I'm tellin' you.

Sheep Doggy Dogg

Well, it's April 1st! And you may be looking at the artwork to the right and thinking: nice one, Werner. But I must assure you: that is no April Fool's Day joke. "Give a Dog a Bone" by Sheep Doggy Dogg is a real single by a real artist that was really released in 1994. The artwork is obviously a play on that of Sheep's namesake, Snoop Doggy Dogg, who Joe Cool (Snoop's cousin) depicted as a similar cartoon dog on his early album covers (Doggystyle, plus the singles for "Gin & Juice" and "What's My Name"). Just in case you thought it might be, no, this cover art is not by the same person, but a guy named Jerry Sprankel.

A couple interesting things to note about this cover, though, before we move forward:

1) Sheep is depicted as a stripper on the cover. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions there.

2) There's a dog holding the "Sex & Money" sign; but that other sign, "It's Like This" is just floating in space. Look at it.

3) The whole thing is so damn silly, it feels like a parody record... but like it says right there on the cover, this is "the female answer to da Snoop Doggy Dogg." It's not a joke song riffing off his hit single, where instead of rhyming about loving gin and juice she professes a love of shepherding and docking. This is actually played straight.

I should point out now that Boomin' Records and Sheep Doggy Dogg are from Florida. Not that it sounds like a Miami bass thing; but that's probably because this is clearly a variation on "What's My Name?" It's actually pretty well done, in how it mirrors every element of Dr Dre's infamous instrumental but doesn't duplicate it. The drums, bass, keys... all clearly similar enough that they're meant to be recognized; but they're different enough that it's a distinctly different song. It's actually refreshing to hear something more original than the "Atomic Dog" drums again, so I've gotta give props. A pleasant surprise.

The hook's not quite so impressive. Part of it's a 90's style shout chorus, where they flip Dre's line to "bow wow wow, yippie yo, yippie yay, Sheep Doggy Dogg's in the motherfucking house." And the rest is some guy named Paul Hawthorne singing a variation of the "What's My Name?" hook. But this guy comes nowhere near the Funkadelic-style chorus of the original, it sounds like the worst budget knock-off you could wind up with. It's not so bad that it ruins the song, per se, but it definitely makes it less fun than it otherwise would've been.

And the rhymes?  Well, Sheep takes the song pretty earnestly, sort of coming off like a Lady of Rage-lite.  But she also keeps name-checking herself, which causes a schism: we can call you Sheep Doggy Dogg or we can take you seriously, but we can't do both. It seems like maybe everybody wasn't on the same page here. She's not being funny, and she's also not dissing Snoop, though she's referencing him and his record constantly. It's like half the team was making a novelty answer record, and the other half was trying to establish Sheep Doggy Dogg as a legitimate artist, laying down the groundwork for a long-term career. But again, you really cant do both at the same time; it just comes off as a knock-off who's taken copying a hit artist's sound to a whole new level of rip-off.

Now, I'm showing you the cassingle above, but there is also a 12", minus the picture cover. The track-listing is the same for both. including a Radio Edit (which does not edit out the curses), Extended Radio, and Bow Wow Wow Mix (basically a TV Track) of the main track. There's also a B-side, "It's Like This (Live)," which features two of her label mates, Def-Soul and LSD, who produced this single. They're basically just advertising their own album, Nigga Bass, over Scarface's "A Minute To Pray and a Second To Die" instrumental. Sheep isn't even on it. And it's also not really live; they just loop some fake crowd sounds over the whole song. LSD adds some nice cuts on the hook, though.

Sheep actually followed this up with a full-length album, Doggystyle Funk, also on Boomin'.  This features both songs from the single (there is no non-"live" version of "It's Like This"). It also features songs with titles like "Dear Bitch," "Get a Job Bitch," "Don't Ask Me 4 Shit" and "Deep Money." I do have it, and in short... the quality seems to have dipped after the single. There's too many guests (including DJ Spankx, of "Tryin' To Get Paid Like Luke" fame); Sheep's on less than half the album(!); and nobody's verses are compelling enough to hold your attention when they're not connected to Snoop, which basically none of this album is. There's a song called "F**k Snoop Dogg," but it's a false promise - it's really just an unfunny skit. The best songs are an instrumental megamix called "Gangsta Groove" and "Child Support Blues," with a liberal but effective use of a Stylistics classic, some nice cuts, piano and a good topic; but the rapping is too basic and clumsy. What I suspect is that they just recorded the single as a one-off; but then found stores were interested in a full album. So they just quickly threw something together using a bunch of random left-over recordings and outtakes they had in the studio.

Surprisingly, though, Sheep's story goes a lot deeper. She actually made a record years before, in 1991, as the front-woman for Operation Panic, called "Ring On My Finger" (also produced by LSD). What's more, she's then changed her name to Red Sonya, and is still doing her thing to this day. Here's her facebook and her youtube. If you search around, you'll see she's put out tons of stuff on CDBaby, Datpiff, Itunes, myspace, etc over the years. In a few more years, she may turn out to be the longest lasting female MC in the genre - wouldn't that be a heck of an April Fool's surprise?

To Me, R&B Ended When Sexy Leroy & The Chocolate Lovelites Broke Up

Tragically, Sexy Leroy and the Chocolate Lovelites never had a music video, so we were forced to just imagine how they would've looked on stage. I always pictured them outfitted like Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate, the outrageous band that played the church in Coming To America, with Eddie Murphy playing one of his many roles as the lead vocalist. Not that they sound alike (which is a good thing, because Eddie succeeded in making his rendition of "Greatest Love Of All" as truly terrible as it was hilarious); maybe it's just the similar band names. But that's who I picture whenever I hear the Lovelites.

Of course, like Randy Watson and his band, Sexy Leroy and the Chocolate Lovelites were just silly aliases for DJ Quik (who had the curls to play Watson... see, it's not that unfounded) and his boys, 2nd II None. The world was introduced to them on DJ Quik's second album, Way 2 Fonky on Profile Records in 1992. The last thing we expected to hear was a crazy, funky throwback (way, way back) R&B group sing sing a number by themselves at the end of Quik's album. It was funny, but it was more than a skit that just ran four plus minutes. The doo-wop style back-up vocals, catchy harmonized hook and casual lounge instrumentation were surprisingly funky. It may've been a parody, but "Let Me Rip Tonite" by Sexy Leroy and the Chocolate Lovelitez (as it was spelled in the original tape's liner notes) featuring Darreyn Johnson was a surprise hit; Quik really utilized his musical talents to create a good song, disguised as a joke.

It's not exactly a complex or brilliantly clever joke... sexism in hip-hop isn't funny because it's, unfortunately, kinda the norm. But all that wildly inappropriate talk ("what you mean rape? Bitch, I been knowing you for two years and you're gonna call it rape?") coming out of the mouth of this singer who should be shouting out at your grandfather as he plays at their 50th wedding anniversary? It worked. But what really sold it was how much they committed to it. Again, it's a full, robust song that, while on some levels perfectly captures the chintzy sounds of a sad, small time band, also slyly showcases Quik's musical abilities (and his guitarist's) beyond simple beat making and becomes endlessly relistenable. And showing off his versatility is what Quik's albums were all about in this era. Tough tracks, slow g-funky tracks, purely instrumental tracks, reggae tracks, tracks with cuts and samples that could play in New York, to classic, laid back Cali party songs. So R&B was a natural inclusion. And Sexy Leroy was an infinitely preferable choice to showcasing another generic Shatasha Williams knock-off.

In 1995, Quik's next album was a real crowd pleaser, delivering full-on disses to MC Eiht and AMG while bringing back the rest of his crew. There was another "Quik's Groove" and ever-expanding jazzy instrumentation, and yes, the Lovelites returned. This time it was a real, hip-hop track showcasing everything the crew did best... tight production, fun sex verses (including Hi-C, who was born to appear on tracks like this), but with that funky lounge vibe and Lovelites on the hook. There's a little bit of humor, of course - if you've got Hi-C talking about orgies, Leroy talking out the track and the guys earnestly singing a hook that goes, "this is for the ho in you, the ho in youuuuu," it's definitely designed to have you smiling - but any pretext the last song may've had of just being an extended joke is gone. It's a full song, this time with integrated hip-hop production, and plays right alongside any of the more serious songs on the album. In fact, it's easily one of the best tracks on an album that's already set a very high standard.

And that's the last most of us heard of Sexy Leroy and the Chocolate Lovelites for... pretty much ever. But that isn't the whole story. See, before Quik signed to Profile Records and started making hits, he was making a name for himself creating underground tapes... demos, essentially. He created one known as The Red Tape, which is basically what got him signed. It features a ton of songs which were later remastered and featured on his and 2nd II None's major label debuts. Online sites all claim this is from 1987 (most are just citing each other, I'm sure), but based on the production styles and everything, that seems pretty unlikely to me. I'd guess 1989-1990. Anyway, yes, it also features a prototypical Sexy Leroy song.

And no, this isn't a raw mix of "Let Me Rip Tonite;" it's a whole new/ old song! It's called "Chocolate Lover" and it's everything a "Let Me Rip" fan could want. It's pure Lovelites style all the way, with Leroy talking to the girls in the audience ("you know, I first seen you at the Alpine swap meet. You was over there just looking so pretty, buying you some hair") as the boys "Shoo-doop, shoop, shoo-doop, wowww" in the background, and they all come together for the hook to serenade the "sweet chocolate mama."  In fact, that's the title it was released as in 2012 when a portion(?!) of the song turned up on 2nd II None's greatest hits compilation album (mp3 only), Infinite.

And that still isn't the whole story. Remember in 2007(ish), when 2nd II None's lost second album leaked? No, I'm not talking about Classic 220... They recorded an album's worth of material (at least) before that, for Profile and/ or Death Row, that never got released. Well, somebody came up with a cover for it, dubbed it The Shit, and leaked it online. “We didn’t even name the album yet,” D said in an interview with HipHopDX. “It’s shit we recorded. The shit surfaced. How, we don’t know. Ain’t no telling. The shit was hot. People wanted it and I’m glad they did put it out there. I still like some of The Shit, it’s timeless.” It also featured a fourth chapter in the Sexy Leroy saga!

It's called "If U Ain't Fuckin' (How You Gonna Get Home?)" That title should tell you all you need to know. It's more of Quik's melodic production, this time driven by a flute; and it's the first song that lets one of the other Lovelites take the lead role for a verse, besides just singing the background and chorus. That's probably because it was the first Lovelites album recorded for a 2nd II None album instead of a Quik album, so they had to get a little more of an active role. But apart from that, it's completely in line with what you'd want and expect from them.

And they might still come back again. I remember an interview a long time ago (like, ten years old) where KK was talking about he and D both putting out solo albums. He was then asked if The Lovelites might return. He said they would be appearing on both of those solo albums, plus 2nd II None's next group album, Compton Blockz... and the Lovelites would actually get their own album "next year!"  Well, none of those projects seem to have happened; but 2nd II None are still around - they dropped a song called "New Shyt" online last year. And since they used their vocals on the "Chocolate Love Outro" to Infinite just last year, I have a feeling that as long as D and KK are still doing it, there's always a good chance they'll bring out that Lovelite magic one more time.

So Sexy Leroy, Sweet Johnny Ray, Bobby Bit-O-Honey, Carmel Williams, Cinnamon Jackson... this post is dedicated to you guys.

Questionable Lyrics #2: Tough Actin' Like Tinactin

This is another long one, but I promise it's worth it. Not every Questionable Lyrics post is gonna be about biting, but...

Similar to surprise I got when I heard Monie Love repeat a Kane line from my last Questionable Lyrics entry, I had a similar feeling in the mid 90's when I heard Xzibit and Ras Kass each drop the same commercial reference on different songs... By his second album, Coolio had thoroughly crossed over. I mean, "Gangster's Paradise" was playing in the waiting room of my dentist's office.  But he had a posse cut on there, which featured Ras Kass amongst a host of others. This was early in Ras's career, too, so any appearance was exciting. Well, his verse contained the following line:

"For them niggas steppin' up with the funk, I'm packin' Tinactin."

That same year, 1995, Ras's fellow Golden State Warrior Xzibit was featured on the compilation album One Million Strong, with a song called "No Hand Outs." I made a video about it in 2007 if you want to know the story there. But the point now is that he kicked the following line:

"I ain't on the microphone actin' tough actin' like Tinactin."

Now, this wasn't so bad as the Monie/ Kane thing. While they were both making the same reference in a corny punchline, they weren't making the exact same pun like Kane and Monie (and Def IV!) did. It's one thing if different rappers both reference Keith Sweat in their songs... look at the comments of that blog post. Readers have found [nice work, guys, and thanks!] some great and fun Keith Sweat lines by other rappers. That Big L one is the best. But they're all different. They're not all specifically saying: hey, don't "Sweat" me because my name isn't Keith, nyuck nycuk! So... I noted it (I mean, these guys formed a group together, and these were early appearances for both of them, they had to have known they were both using Tinactin as a punchline), but I didn't think much of it.

Then I heard it on a Kris Kross record. It was still 1995; I was bothering to check for a Kris Kross 12" because it featured Redman. The European pressing was different than the US, with a different B-side.  And it's the European one that caught my attention. The song was a posse cut called "Live and Die For Hip Hop," which I believe later appeared on Kris Kross's Young, Rich and Dangerous album. Anyway, it was neither Kris nor Kross, but one of their guest MCs (Mr. Black?), who spoke the line:

"Smackin' those actin' tough as Tinactin."

It was back, and this time it was the same pun. If you can really call it a pun. See, "tough actin'" is the product's catchphrase.  Like McDonald's commercials always saying "I"m lovin' it," in their song, in the dialogue, printed on their bags and posters. Tinactin - which if you don't know, is an anti-fungal foot powder/ crotch ointment - uses the line "tough actin'." Look at the picture at the top of this blog and you'll see it printed right along the front of the box. It's kinda goofy to be throwing medicated foot powder references into your song lyrics (straight from the soul, no doubt). But at least Ras and X were using it differently. Xzibit was making a play on the product's tag-line, and Ras was saying he gets rid of rappers' bad funk just like Tinactin does to the funk you get on your foot. There the pun's really on "funk." Some additional creativity was involved. You could maybe say Xzibit's line was clever (though I'm not prepared to concede that); but this time it was a total bite! Fortunately, at least, this was the last time any rapper would mention it.

AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Sigh...

The Lady of Rage, 1997, on the title track of her debut album Necessary Roughness:

"Fast actin' like Tinactin, mo' deeper than the Kraken."

Defenders might say: well, at least she changed it. I don't know. Honestly, I think she just got it wrong. I think she stole the line and wasn't even familiar enough with the reference she was making to realize that it's supposed to be "tough actin'," not "fast actin'." I mean, look, I like Lady of Rage and generally respect her work. In fact, most of the lyrics to this song are pretty solid. But leaving this line in the mix is at best incredibly lazy. That's me being very generous because I'm a die-hard LA Posse fan.

Anyway, the same year, hardcore indie crew The Ruthless Bastards spit the line on their Flowmaster single, "Murder We Wrote:"

"Tough actin' like Tinactin, breakin' backs in fatigue gear."

There's something sort of charming, in a nostalgic time capsule-ish way about the line in those songs, though. It's like hearing all the MCs who bit Das EFX's "diggity diggity" gimmick; it has that ring of an innocent naivete. But now that The 90's are over, well... Ready for the rapid fire round?

In 2000, DJ Quik had a guest named Skaboobie (his career didn't seem to go very far) say it on "Did Y'all Feel That?" from his album Balance & Options on Arista:

"Tough actin' like Tinactin is how my game got you reactin'."

During the song "Talk big Shit," Dubee (no relation to Skaboobie) of Mac Dre's Cutthroat Committee says on their 2001 Thizz Entertainment album, Turf Bucanneers:

"Wicked with a fashion, tough as Tinactin."

And it's surprising what really credible MCs have used it. Take Phaorahe Monch, who dropped the following line. Lady of Rage-style, on The X-Ecutioners' 2001 single, "Y'all Know the Name" (later included on their Built From Scratch album) on LOUD:

"My beats get feet to steppin' like fast actin' Tinactin."

Foreign Exchange, "The Answer" from their 2004 album Connected on BBE:

"They tough actin' like Tinactin."

 Heiruspecs, "Dollar," from their 2004 album  A Tiger Dancing on Razor & Tie:

"Sayin' your spray is stayin' tough actin' like Tinactin."

Of course you know Chino XL had to get in on this! But actually, he doesn't say it, just a guest on his song: Crooked I on a track called "Tap Dancing" that got thrown out on mp3 and mixtapes around 2007, but never really had a proper release. Here's his line:

"Dancin' around the truth, you rappers are actin'; come out of the booth and need tough actin' Tinactin."

Grand Puba kept it going on Brand Nubian's Time's Runnin' Out album from 2007 on Sound of Dissent... He also says "fast:"

"Took your star, reactin' like fast actin' Tinactin."

MF Doom, "Ballskin" from 2009's Born Like This on Lex Records:

"And being tough actin' Tinactin, bluff jackin'."

And of course The Wu isn't above it. On "Weak Spot," from the Wu Tang Clan's last crew album in 2007, 8 Diagrams on Universal, Raekwon, the chef himself, spits:

"I'ma tap in harder than Tinactin."

Also in 2009, Lil Wayne said it on Rick Ross's Deeper Than Music Def Jam album, on the posse cut "Maybach Music 2." Though he uses the tagline, too; he at least changes up the pun a little, a la Ras Kass:

"I'm on my feet like Tough Actin' Tinactin."

As recently as 2011, Vakill thought it was a good idea to use it on the title cut of his Armor of God album with The Molemen:

"Insecure non-tough, tough actin' Tinactin types."

And in 2012, T-Pain made a video for a song called "Don't You Quit" which features the line:

"Me and my dogs go hard, and you just tough actin' Tinactinin' - Ha ha!"

For God's sake, how do you laugh at that line in 2012? I mean, even putting aside what a bad look it is to laugh at your own punchlines on your own record... does no one in your crew recognize this hacky, stolen line when you spit it in the booth? Do none of your producers pause and think, "gee, that sounds familiar..." There's no way you can think you're being witty or clever in your own head saying this line after such an incredibly long procession of other rappers saying the exact damn thing.

But it's about to get real. Because what really sparked me to write this post is that I recently stumbled upon an earlier occurrence of this line. All these years, I wasn't sure if Ras or Xzibit thought it up, but I thought one or the other started this terrible trend. But no, I just heard it in a song from 1994. Ice Cube's short lived pack of proteges, Anotha Level, had it on their sole album, On Anotha Level from Priority Records. The song is called "Level-N-Service" and Cube's on it himself, though he didn't actually kick the following line:

"I'm tough actin' like Tinactin for the feet."

This line is such a tired, worn out reference that even the originators bit it! It's a time paradox, like that episode where Dr. Who met himself!* I don't understand it. Are Merck & Co. writing these rappers checks? Or has everybody just lost their damn minds? Either way, we need to apply some serious anti-fungal juice to this Tinactin rap shit.

...And guys, if you can find more, please post 'em in the comments again. I already can't stop laughing at this list!


*I've never actually watched Dr. Who, but I think it's safe to assume that this happened at least once.