InstaRapFlix 20: Beef 3

"Beef, beef, BEEF! Back in the Duh-hayz!" ...To quote Chubb Rock. Yeah, it's back on with Beef 3 (Netflix rating: 2 stars), this time narrated by DJ Kay Slay.

The first beef, Bang Em Smurf & Domination Vs. Fifty Cent pretty much sets the tone for this declining chapter in the series. First off, Fifty doesn't even bother to comment; they didn't get him on this DVD at all (though he appeared on the previous discs, and actually has two "vs" segments on this one). So it's just these other guys, basically sounding real ignorant, pointing guns at the camera and bragging about stupid shit like throwing chairs at Summer Jam.

Chingy vs. Nelly was just a pair of bickering bitches whining about each other for no good reason. And that segment went of forever... it felt like it was never gonna end.

Twista gave a good interview, but in his segment (vs. Bone Thugs N Harmony), it basically just came out that they didn't have beef and never did. So, umm, ok. What did we just spend 10 minutes on it for? And there's more interviews, too, where rappers just talk about how hard it is to break a record or something in the South, the mix-tape game or rappers' frustration with the police, and don't have anything to do with beef. Clearly, the filmmakers just had some interviews that didn't fit anywhere and so they just padded this film with every random film clip they had. Even the film's final moments are Snoop Doggy Dogg talking about how the west coast is gonna make a comeback or something. Then, boom, cut to credits. What? Why was he even on camera? He didn't have anything to say about anything in the movie.

So, basically, Beef 3 is a big, fat let down. Half this movie has nothing to do with beef and just flounders around, boring and directionless. Then, the other half is just stupid. The squabbles are lame and the rappers are childish.

And it looks like this may be the last Beef write-up for me. I've just read that the final installment, Beef 4 is out to prove "that rappers aren't the only folks who have beefs" and instead "explores the battles brewing between ball players, skateboarders, comics, actors and more." As one commenter asked, "going from the first beef which featured the likes of biggie smalls vs tupac and 50cent vs murder inc to Ethan Hawke vs Will Smith and Dave Chapelle vs Comedy central. Whats next Burger king vs McDonalds?" This is a hip-hop site, so I think this is where we get off. And after what I just watched, I'm only to happy to.